HELP- Don't want to go to friends Bridal Shower

HELP- Don't want to go to friends Bridal Shower

I need some advice,a girlfriend of mine is getting married and her shower will be coming up and there are a few select girls that I don't want to see at all and don't care for. These perticular girls were also at my wedding and as some of us experienced they fell off the face of the earth after I got married. There is no love loss with these people but I guess I feel bad about not wanting to go to this friend's shower. I will diffinitely go to the wedding because my hubby will be in my corner, but I'm afraid of being ostrasized at this event. I already thought of sending a present but I'm still confused..

How does your friend feel about all this?

If possible, maybe you should speak to your friend that's getting married about the whole situation. Keep in mind that you'll be at the shower for your girlfriend and no one else. If you're close, you might want to go just to show your support after all this is her day and you wouldn't want to disappoint her. Try to focus on your girlfriend and put your personal feelings aside for a day.

How does your friend feel about all this?

Being a once bride I wouldn't dare speak to her about it, I remember when I was getting married, this petty stuff I couldn't deal with. I kind of thought that maybe I was putting her feelings first when I opt to sit out...just so it goes smoothly.

HELP- Don`t want to go to friends Bridal Shower

Option 1: go to the shower and act as if nothing happened and you miss the friends that have dropped off the face of the earth. Maybe they feel like they are intruding in your honeymoon phase by calling you - have you invited them to do things since you've been married? We all get caught up with being a newlywed and tend to let relationships falter. It could be a good opportunity to repair the friendships.

Option 2: don't go, but send a gift. DON'T make an elaborate excuse or even bother to describe what else you have to do that has taken precedent. I learned that trick from a good friend - you're much better off if you just say how you are so sorry but you have a prior commitment and leave it at that. Most people won't ask, and if they do, just be vague and say it's a family committment.

HELP- Don`t want to go to friends Bridal Shower

I would absolutely try to go because the shower is your friend`s special day and I`m sure she really wants you there. If your side of the street is clean with these other women then whatever the issue, if they have the immaturity to ostracize you at a bridal shower for another friend, they obviously have alot of growing up to do. That`s such a 4th grade thing to do! In that case, you are well rid of them from your life and you are the bigger person for showing up for the guest of honor. If you are very uncomfortable you can stay for a bit and leave early. The showing up may actually make you feel better about not avoiding these women. And who knows...it may turn out much better than you are expecting. But try to go, it may be hard but at least cvonsider going. Good luck, stuff like this is never easy :o)

think of the Bride..

I would really make an effort to go. Then, just stick by the side of the BMS or the mom/aunts/cousins who are helping out the bride to be. Lending a hand during the shower will take your mind off of the girls that aren't TRUE friends, helps diffuse the situation, and makes you look good to boot!

What do you really think will happen at this event?

If you believe you will be creating a volatile situation by being there I would say send a gift.
What do you really think will happen at this event?
- do you expect some sort of confrontation with these women or
- will you all just continue to not speak to each other and if that's the case will it make the event uncomfortable for the bride and other guests?

What do you really think will happen at this event?

I'm with Fran...would anyone really go so far as to potentially ruin such a special day for a friend? I would imagine that everyone could at least try to put on a friendly front for that one day...but if these girls are not that adult, and there may be issues then by all means just send a gift. Are they they only ones going that you know? There is no one else for you to 'hang' with?

I agree with Elisabeth...

I think that you should go to the shower for the sake of your friend, the bride. Personally, if I were the bride, I would be very upset if you did not show up b/c of perceived tension between other guests. I think that you should be the bigger person, and ignore any inappropriate behavior from the others. If they are that immature and inconsiderate of the bride, than they are not worth your friendship anyway.
Who knows, they might be thrilled to see you, and you could end up very surprised!
Good luck!

What do you really think will happen at this event?

Unfortunately there is no one else to hang out with, I don't think they would 'start' trouble we are all adults, but it will be uncomfortable. Me and the hubby went to a wedding in Sept and they were at the same table and as soon as the toasts were done me and hubby were the only ones sitting at the table for the rest of the night! we laughed about it and went to socialize at another table but at least I had him. I will think about it thanks!

WNubride

These were your friends and you have no idea what happened that you have gotten the cold shoulder? Very strange. In the end, of course you will do what you are most comfortable with in regards to the shower. Separate of your friend`s shower, have you tried speaking with any of them about what is going on? It might be good to do if you are truly baffled by their behavior. Even if nothing comes of it, at least you have put it out there and asked. If someone has an issue with you and they aren`t willing to communicate what it is, then they really have a maturity problem. And for a group of adult women to all behave in unison...it takes on a silly proportion. Good luck, please let us know how it goes.

WNubride

Thanks Liz, it's probably over nothing..and at this point in my life I would rather not try after the snuff I got at the wedding, prior to the wedding I did call them and we were supposed to meet at the mall and I was at the mall and never got a phone call, so for me the wedding was the last straw. it is very immature but you get tired of making the effort. I will figure something out and let you know how it goes. Thanks for all the suggestions.

WNubride

I hear you. Well if you tried already..then what else is there? Same thing applies, if they can`t communicate their issue, so be it. Sounds like petty stuff, who needs 'friends' like that :o)

WNubride * My thoughts Exactly! *NM*