Help me! (long vent!)

Tell me I'm not being crazy! Here's a little background...SIL wasn't the biggest help during the wedding planning process. I heard after the fact that she didn't really help my mom and sister with the shower and it took her over 6 months to pay my mom for the BM shower gift, which that check bounced and it took her 2 more months to finally give my mom cash. Meanwhile, she never said 2 words about it to me and I had to ask DH and MIL to ask her for it! She also left my bachelorette party early, never telling me she wasn't going to stay and that really hurt me. So unfortunately, though I shouldn't hold grudges, I have these 2 things in the back of my head whenever I'm with SIL.

On to the present...SIL was having a jewelry party and as her SIL i felt obligated to go although I really didn't want to. I replied yes, but the day of (which was yesterday) I decided I really didn't want to go. I wasn't crazy about the jewelry in the catalog and I don't really want to spend money. So I had dinner with DH and then fell asleep for awhile. I woke up early enough to go, but told DH I didn't really want to and explained. He understood, but was a little annoyed I didn't go to support his sister. Of course I threw out, like your sister was there for me to help with the shower, pay for things and celebrating my bachelorette. SIL had sent me a text earlier asking where I was. I wrote her back after 10pm when I got it explaining and apologized, but that was the extent of the conversation.

Now I'm feeling paranoid that she is pissed at me and will tell her family what i did and now hold this against me. She also had her facebook page say 'deadbeats' and i think she's talking about me. Tell me I'm looking too much into this and I'm not a horrible person for not going! I know i probably should have just ****** it up and then we wouldn't have these problems, but i wanted to make a small point and i didn't feel like hanging out with DH's family again b/c we see them so much! Ok i think I'm done...thanks for reading if you have gotten this far!

yeah that's what another friend said to me. it's just a jewelry party! thank you! i'm being ridiculous i know!

I don't think you're a horrible person for not going.
She wasn't really there for you during your shower/wedding planning process and it seems like you have residual feelings (I would too!) of hurt over that...regardless, things happen and you might have not gone anyway for any number of reasons. It's just a jewelry party...if you are worried, offer to buy something from the catalog to make it up to her...if she does hold a grudge for your not going, it's really her problem. JMO but if she does hold a grudge she needs to get a life, sorry no offense meant but it's not the end of the world you didn't go.

Yeah I think she's being a little ridiculous and demanding quiet honestly. If she does make a big stink of it with the family I would hope that your DH would stand up for you. Regardless of anything happening with your wedding/shower, it would be completely normal to just not feel like going because like you said you didn't want to spend the money,time, etc. Honestly I only like pampered chef parties but all the others I feel like I end up going to do the right thing and I hate it. I recently turned down a spa party at one of my bridemaid's houses because I don't like people always touching me and the person doing the party is always so pushy. The girl doing the party actually called my cell phone a few days before the party and that was a total turn-off to me. I told my friend I couldn't make it and I was a little worried that she'd be annoyed but it all worked out in the end. Sorry this is so stressful for you.

thanks everyone. you're making me feel better.

i know that not all of her family came, so i wasn't the only one. i would also hope that DH would stand up for me if something was said, but i would have my own things to say to her if she ever said anything to me anyway!

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Posted by bigrd37

thanks everyone. you're making me feel better.

i know that not all of her family came, so i wasn't the only one. i would also hope that DH would stand up for me if something was said, but i would have my own things to say to her if she ever said anything to me anyway!

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yeah, hopefully it won't come to that. I really don't think it's that big a deal. I mean, yes it would have been polite for you to go even with not being in the mood. But like people already said, it's just a jewelry party. It's not like a graduation, birthday, wedding, etc. I wouldn't be surprised if she was kind of annoyed (esp since she texted you) but she'll get over it - unless she's REALLY immature. Things happen, and you already apologized for it. Nothing more you can do. It's really not a big deal at all, so try to stop beating yourself up about it. I get the same way though - easily paranoid about things like that. It's such a pain. But I'm sure it'll be fine. I'd be very surprised if the family got involved. That would just be kind of pathetic, in my opinion. Get over it and move on people. (and yes - DH better stand up for you!!! lol)

to be honest, why should she expect you to come to something as insignificant as a jewelry party when she couldn't even be bothered to be there for you for something as major as her own brother's wedding! it's one of those situations where what goes around comes around... if she didn't do much she shouldn't expect much....

that being said, don't sweat it she'll get over it... hopefully she's not so immature as to hold it against you!

She probably had a lot of no-shows and was pissed! Dont worry though, she will get over it.

Act like nothing happened and go back to life. Maybe send her a fb note that says sorry again I couldnt make it, how did it go. that way you are showing you do care...somewhat.