Hey Newlyweds, help me out with inviting coworkers!!!

alina Posted: Apr 09, 2003 02:43 PM

Hey Newlyweds, help me out with inviting coworkers!!!

I originally planned not to invite anyone from work, b/c I never see these people outside of work situation and we almost never go out to lunch together.
The top down structure goes like this:
1 big boss
1 immediate boss
2 sr. people
2 jr. people (I am one of them)
Secretary/Admin

I have so far invited 2 of the bosses over the past few days. I am now considering inviting the other people, but not sure I want to. One of the sr. people and a boss are writing my rec. for grad school, which in itself makes things a bit more complicated. Another reason stopping me from inviting the rest of the group is that I hate the other Jr. person in our group and don't even want to think about her coming...

What should I do. Reason tells me not to invite all these people, but in etiquette part of me feels that I should invite them, and not expect most of them to show up...

nrvbrd Posted: Apr 09, 2003 03:38 PM

Re: Hey Newlyweds, help me out with inviting coworkers!!!

Alina, I am not a NW, but I see no one is responding to your post.

I have decided not to invite any co workers. I have 3 supervisors 2 managers and another VP that overseas my department along with 4 others in my immediate dept. Then there are those outside of my group but in my department. I will probably not invite any of them. I will probably get stoned for doing this by the ettiquette police, but that is how it is going to be. This is too costly of an event. I am not particularly close with these ppl outside of work,so this is how I came to my decision.

alina Posted: Apr 09, 2003 03:41 PM

Re: Hey Newlyweds, help me out with inviting coworkers!!!

Thanks nrvbrd!!! Anyone else? Everyone is reading the post but nobody replying... I have reposted this on BHB since it seems to have a bit mroe action.

groovypeg Posted: Apr 09, 2003 06:42 PM

Re: Hey Newlyweds, help me out with inviting coworkers!!!

i am not inviting anyone from work either. my guest list is already at 250 without them. i cant afford to invite them all. and i dont want to pick and choose.

yabbobay Posted: Apr 09, 2003 06:42 PM

Re: Hey Newlyweds, help me out with inviting coworkers!!!

I started out inviting 5 people from my department (out of 11 - with me) and 2 from outside...

then one of the 5 from my depatment who I didn't invite...asked me for my address b/c his wedding was a month after mine and needed it for the STDs..

so I added the other 5 (even one I hated)...none of them showed...

but out of all the people I invited...only one was my superior...and he was only promoted that year...so I met him as an equal...

I'm sure I didn't help you at all!! here is the advice I received on it...

from mom: if you didn't work with them...would you keep in contact with them...if not...don't invite

from one of coworkers: invite them and make them make the decision...and then that way they have to buy you a gift

NovemberSue Posted: Apr 09, 2003 07:10 PM

Re: Hey Newlyweds, help me out with inviting coworkers!!!

I invited the people from work because we are such a small group and I would have felt bad leaving one or two people out.
I think you are fine no matter what you decide.You can invite 2 people or the bunch.I just don't think its right if you invite everyone but one.

Niecey Posted: Apr 09, 2003 07:35 PM

Re: Hey Newlyweds, help me out with inviting coworkers!!!

I have a pretty small department (6 people at the time) but I only invited 3 of them (my boss and 2 people that I hang out with outside of work). I invited about 5 ex-co-workers though. I have no clue if anyone felt offended but I had to make cuts somewhere and I rather leave them off than a friend or family worker. I battled with the decision up until the last day to send the invites. Also, I didn't want people to feel obligated or to make it look like I was looking for gifts esp. since the people that I left off either reported to me or were at a lower level than me. There were a couple people outside of the department I wanted to invite but they all got married months before me and didn't invite me so I did the same - felt they set the precidence.

kelly4 Posted: Apr 09, 2003 07:46 PM

Re: Hey Newlyweds, help me out with inviting coworkers!!!

My DH and I work together, so it was a bit difficult not to invite coworkers. We had to draw the lines though. We were already approaching 250 people with out coworkers, but felt we had to invite them. We are both close with many of our coworkers, and felt we couldn't leave them out. Our wedding would not be the same without them! But in your case, if you don't see them outside of work, besides your bosses (they should be invited IMO) but no one else if budget is an issue!

best of luck!
Lora

Margaret Posted: Apr 09, 2003 08:03 PM

Re: Hey Newlyweds, help me out with inviting coworkers!!!

Me and my husband both worked for the same company at the time we got married.

I decided to invite my entire dept. (about 11 people) b/c most of the group was pretty close to each other. However, I was not close to 3 of them but felt bad leaving them out so I invited them. Those 3 people completely screwed me over at the wedding - one couple responded but did not show, another responded for a guest that did not show and the third (hate to say this) gave an embarrassingly cheap gift even though she is very well off. Looking back I completely regret asking them.

My husband on the other hand only asked people he was close to and did not care if people were offended.

So my advice, only invite people you have a relationship with and that you truly want there.

Teri Posted: Apr 09, 2003 08:33 PM

Re: Hey Newlyweds, help me out with inviting coworkers!!!

it's a tough call - I work in a dept with 15 ppl, but only invited my 2 immediate bosses. If I invited my 5 co-workers, that would have been an extra 10 ppl and were really trying to keep the numbers down. It worked out though, and I don't think anyone was insulted. For all I know, they would have felt obligated to go and spend $$ anyway!

Cira Posted: Apr 10, 2003 08:58 AM

Re: Hey Newlyweds, help me out with inviting coworkers!!!

I battled with this question before my wedding. I do have lunch with a group of people that I work with and decided to only invite, my direct manager and only one co-worker (both came) out of that bunch. I also invited my staff director and the officer in charge of my area out of respect (neither came). I felt that I couldn't invite everyone so I had to draw the line. I don't think anyone was offended.

My husband only invited his close close work friends. No bosses and not all of his lunch pals.

I hope that helps!

michele31 Posted: Apr 10, 2003 09:58 AM

Re: Hey Newlyweds, help me out with inviting coworkers!!!

You have a small group so I would suggest you invite all. Of course, that assumes that you can afford to do so. It is NOT easy to pick and chose who you invite from work.

alina Posted: Apr 10, 2003 10:39 AM

Re: Hey Newlyweds, help me out with inviting coworkers!!!

Thanks girls... Now you have made me lean towards inviting them. I'll talk to FH tonight.

It would be 4 extra invites, but again, since its July 4th weekend, people may not come... Especially the girl that I dislike.