Holiday Wars...

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Posted by BarbieGrl10

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Posted by MrsDrinkh20

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Posted by BarbieGrl10

Ugh! I cant even answer this! We always fight about it.

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So do we...its horrible...gives me severe anxiety!!!

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Yes!!!!!!!!!

And what bothers me as well is that DHs family does the holidays much more low key then mine does.

We start at like 12 and its tons and tons of hors d'oeuvres and drinks till your full!

Then at like 2ish is the 1st course which is usually some form of macaroni and meatballs or lasagna.
Followed by salad.

At 4ish we will start the main course - either turkey or ham with like 20 different sides.

Then some drinking, movies and nap time.

By 8 all the cakes, chocolates, pies, etc are out but you can always go back and eat more from the other courses.

At DHs house they do like cheese and crackers then turkey or ham with some sides then cake. It takes like 3 hours. But DH is always stuck cooking it so hes always to tired to go to my family.

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My family is like urs. We always have sooo many courses and soo much food. We never know when we start or finish. It is so hard to figure out what time we would go to his family bc all they do is put everything on the table at once. Then dessert.

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Posted by Watever143

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Posted by BarbieGrl10

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Posted by MrsDrinkh20

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Posted by BarbieGrl10

Ugh! I cant even answer this! We always fight about it.

---

So do we...its horrible...gives me severe anxiety!!!

---

Yes!!!!!!!!!

And what bothers me as well is that DHs family does the holidays much more low key then mine does.

We start at like 12 and its tons and tons of hors d'oeuvres and drinks till your full!

Then at like 2ish is the 1st course which is usually some form of macaroni and meatballs or lasagna.
Followed by salad.

At 4ish we will start the main course - either turkey or ham with like 20 different sides.

Then some drinking, movies and nap time.

By 8 all the cakes, chocolates, pies, etc are out but you can always go back and eat more from the other courses.

At DHs house they do like cheese and crackers then turkey or ham with some sides then cake. It takes like 3 hours. But DH is always stuck cooking it so hes always to tired to go to my family.

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My family is like urs. We always have sooo many courses and soo much food. We never know when we start or finish. It is so hard to figure out what time we would go to his family bc all they do is put everything on the table at once. Then dessert.

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Same here..my entire family gets together and with his family it is just his parents and 2 siblings...we could do that ANY day of the year...i feel like hlidays should be with EVERYONE

There is always some kind of issue with Thanksgiving, because his family is completely disorganized and NEVER knows where or what they're doing until like, the week before. Yeah. So Thanksgiving is like a free-for-all.

Christmas Eve my parents have a party/dinner every year. In our culture (Spanish) Christmas Eve is when you actually celebrate Christmas, and you open gifts at midnight. So DH and I go to my parents for Christmas Eve, and open a few presents at midnight.

Christmas morning we open our presents at our house early (we lived together for a year before getting engaged) then go by my parents for brunch/opening all presents.

We get to his parents by like 2pm Christmas Day, then open presents and do Christmas Dinner there.

We always do Christmas Eve with my family and Christmas Day with his since his fam doesnt really celebrate Xmas Eve. But my mom started getting pissy that I'm never with my family on X-mas day so I dunno what to do this year bc his fam doesnt celebrate eve and I can't spend both with mine grrr...anyway....

We've done the whole Easter/Thanksgiving dinner here and dessert there and it's just so tiring and nerve wracking for me that I'd rather sit home alone and stare at the wall instead of running around like a dummy.

This year we're doing this...
Thanksgiving we alternate one year with mine and the next with his. We do the same for Easter.

PS..Ever since we started dating, I have come to hate the holidays more and more bc of this.

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Posted by MrsDrinkh20

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Posted by Watever143

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Posted by BarbieGrl10

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Posted by MrsDrinkh20

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Posted by BarbieGrl10

Ugh! I cant even answer this! We always fight about it.

---

So do we...its horrible...gives me severe anxiety!!!

---

Yes!!!!!!!!!

And what bothers me as well is that DHs family does the holidays much more low key then mine does.

We start at like 12 and its tons and tons of hors d'oeuvres and drinks till your full!

Then at like 2ish is the 1st course which is usually some form of macaroni and meatballs or lasagna.
Followed by salad.

At 4ish we will start the main course - either turkey or ham with like 20 different sides.

Then some drinking, movies and nap time.

By 8 all the cakes, chocolates, pies, etc are out but you can always go back and eat more from the other courses.

At DHs house they do like cheese and crackers then turkey or ham with some sides then cake. It takes like 3 hours. But DH is always stuck cooking it so hes always to tired to go to my family.

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My family is like urs. We always have sooo many courses and soo much food. We never know when we start or finish. It is so hard to figure out what time we would go to his family bc all they do is put everything on the table at once. Then dessert.

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Same here..my entire family gets together and with his family it is just his parents and 2 siblings...we could do that ANY day of the year...i feel like hlidays should be with EVERYONE

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Exactly Lauren!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow I'm so sorry so many of you are going through this!!!!

Thanksgiving has never been that big a deal to either of us -- my family long ago lost the 'big meal' tradition when my parents divorced when I was 13. When DH invited me to Thanksgiving with his family 3 weeks after we met to meet them, I knew he was serious about me, though.

We're doing thanksgiving at our home this year -- his parents gave DH a turkey roaster pan for christmas last year and he was told Thanksgiving was at his place this year, so we had no choice. Good thing he proposed and we got married since then but before thanksgiving. (Although he's cooking the turkey, not me!)

Can you go every other year sharing the holiday instead of trying to split the day? Be there for important non-national events, like birthdays or other special occasions, and don't make Thanksgiving be the only day that matters.... I hope it works out with minimal frustration!

I totally, totally understand the stress.

when we were dating, for Thanksgiving, he would always come to my family for dessert. Now, I go to his family b/c they eat at 12-1ish which leaves plenty of time left to go visit my side.

For Christmas Eve, he goes to my father's side which is the Italian side. Christmas Day dinner is with my family, the GREEK side. LOL

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Posted by MLAngelo

This has to get better when we all have our own families right?

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FH and I have already decided -- the moment we get a big enough house, we will be hosting all holidays.

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Posted by twoifbysea

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Posted by MLAngelo

This has to get better when we all have our own families right?

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FH and I have already decided -- the moment we get a big enough house, we will be hosting all holidays.

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Well thats what we were going to volunteer to do, but we didn't even get a chance to since the thanksgiving invite came on 10/1!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think trying to take the holidays over should be my next fun struggle.

Sorry to hear you are dealing with this. So far, knock wood, DH and I havent had this issue , however I have been through it with an ex.. and it ***** when one person does not budge and insists on spending every holiday with their family.

That being said, everyone has different ways of how to split up the holidays, but the point is to compromise. If you have decided one side gets xmas eve and one gets xmas day already that works out well.. as for thanksgiving and say easter, why not switch off so that one family gets one one yeart the next gets the other the following year. You could also split the day if say one family is more of a luinch family and the other is more of a dinner get together-er and they are nearby geographicall,... but sometimes you just end up missing out on both sides if you try to split the day itself- and your better off doing one year with his and one year with yours.

Anyway I think most importantly talk to hubby about what is important to you and how you feel about him maybe acting like his fam is more important than yours. and I am sure you will be able to figure something out =-) Good luck!

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Posted by MLAngelo

This has to get better when we all have our own families right?

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Or it just gets MORE complicated.. As siblings marry and start their own families too.. you are just adding more families to accomodate to th elist!