Holidays?

I know it is only sept. but they will be here before we know it. I am dreading the holidays. DH's parent's are divorced so it makes it extra hard. So many holidays we go see my fam. than both sides of his it gets outta control! We tried to split the holidays one year and we got a huge guilt trip. Now that we are married and hopefully moving into a new house soon I would like to have the holidays, but than this posses a problem because DH's parents are divorced, how do I chose which side to invite over? I am just curious how you have been or plan on handling the holidays. Sorry this is long, and kinda rambles.

The holidays have always been a mess with the In-laws in NJ. Last year we spent Christmas Eve at Jason's Aunts house, then had to rush off to be at my families for Christmas morning because that is most important to my family. My parents spent Christmas Eve alone. Then we missed MIL's Christmas dinner because we were at my Aunts were my family goes every year and that dinner is always a mess. I said to DH, why are we spending both nights at our Aunts homes instead of being at your mom's dinner?

This year we are switching it up... Christmas Eve/Morning at my parents (my mom will host my family), then go to the in-laws for Christmas dinner. My parents can go to my Aunt and Uncles so they won't be alone. Jay is a little upset he will miss his Aunt's party and midnight mass but it makes so much more sense and will work out a lot better when we have kids that want to wake up in their own home. So we should get the family used to this plan now.

I don't know if this is helpful but...it seems to me that the only fair way to do it would be to split the holidays or you will drive yourselves crazy... you can't make everyone happy when you have such a big fam, they will have to understand that there is no other way. It's your first holiday season as a married couple so this is a good time to set the precedent...it's hard but try no tot let them make you feel guilty, it's not your fault that DH's parents are divorced and you have a big fam!! :)

ugh don't get me started on this one! i get a guilt trip every time from my mom, even though she knows and understands things have to be split.

i don't have a big family at all, actually we don't speak to most of them and my father passed away. so it's just my mom and sister. DH has huge family and my mom isn't crazy about the in-laws. so it's making it super hard to do things.

we decided the easiest is to just split the holidays and switch every year. luckily i am jewish and catholic, so my mom gets all the jewish holidays and doesn't have to share those! unfortunately, when i spend holidays with DH's family my mom and sister are alone (b/c my mom refuses to go to in-laws house, though they don't always ask). sometimes my neighbor asks my mom and sister, then i don't feel so bad. i'm not looking forward to throwing kids in the mix someday!

to me honestly, the easiest and best way to do things is to just split holidays and switch each year. we spent thanksgiving with my mom last year, so this year it's with DH's family, etc....good luck!

DH and I have been together for over 5 years now so we sorta have some sort of system going already with families on holidays!

DH's parents are divorced and his father lives in Jersey! so splitting the days is extra hard!

my mom use to give me a huge guilt trip and i would feel terrible but what can you do! you have a bigger family now!

eventually you will work your own systems out!
here is a little bit of how my holidays works...

thanksgiving we always got to DH's aunts house in jersey! it hasnt been a huge holiday in my family to celebrate since my grandparents moved to florida.
Christmas: (thankgoodness there are 2 days) xmas eve we go to his fathers house in jersey, xmas morning go to my parents house to open presents, and then whoever is hosting xmas day on my side we go
Day after xmas we usually got to his grandmothers house (his moms side)
new years: we are usually with friends
Easter: my mom was upset that nobody was ever around for easter anymore (my brother also just got married) so she started a new tradition! me, DH, my brother and his wife go to my parents for breakfast and and easter egg hunt..then prob to his fathers or mothers...

its going to get a little harder because DH always lived with his mother, so holidays were always spent for the most part w/ his dad, now that he doesnt live with her im sure she is going to wanna see him for the holidays more!

sorry this is a book! lol

it all started when we had our son 3 years ago....this is the breakdown
DH's parents are divorced

Easter- every year we alternate between MIL's family and my parents
Thanksgiving- FIL's family
Christmas eve - My parents
Christmas morning- FIL for breakfast
Christmas dinner- MIL's family and we usually go to my parents for a bit

in other words we dont get to rest and really enjoy because we have to run around everywhere...good thing is everyone lives 10 min away