Holidays! Where to go?!?!

So it hasn't been easy for me as a newlywed trying to split up holidays. For Christmas I was supposed to spend Christmas eve with the ILs (at his uncle's house) and Christmas day with my family. But DH was not getting along with his cousins so we spent half of Christmas day with ILs (Brooklyn) and the rest with mine (Suffolk). My mom got mad because we were supposed to spend the ENTIRE day there and we didn't. And it's not her fault that DH doesn't get along with his family.

So for Easter we spent the day before Easter with my family and Easter with his. Again, my mom got mad because we weren't with her. DH didn't want to drive out to LI and get stuck in traffic (we live in Brooklyn).

Now, Mothers Day. We are not spending Mothers day with either mother because we have a ton of stuff we need to do and DH is working tonight which means he will be sleeping most of Saturday. So we need to do everything on Sunday. We are going to MD next weekend for a wedding and I will with my parents the ENTIRE weekend. But again, my mom gives me a guilt trip. I can't take it!!!! Not only that, but she tells me about how she use to get stressed out when she was first married about how to deal with holidays and now she's causing me to stress!

My mom feels like since we live close to the ILs we see them all the time and they are 'taking me away'. I see my parents more then we see his. UUGGGHHHH!!!!

Please tell me someone else is going through this!!!!!!

Holidays can be exceptionally stressful, I am not sure if you are asking for advice or just want to vent, but in case you want advice what I have been doing (and so far it seems to be working out) is call both sets of parents about 3 weeks before the holiday and ask them what do they want. I tell them both to think about it and get back to me. Then I will ask one of them what they prefer about a week after I put the holiday idea into their head. When one says X, I call the other and say we would love to see you at Y and they agree to it. So far it has worked out really well. Knocking on wood that it stays that way.

We go through it and I have to go to THREE houses every holiday!!!!!!!!!

His moms
His dad & step moms
My parents
(and most times my family usually has a big party at my grandmas)

Its very hard. I feel like we spend most holidays eating and running!

This same exact situation has caused countless fights and lots of stress, and Mother's Day has been no exception.
My Mom wants to go to the city for brunch, so DH is all bent, but you know what, his Mom was offered to come, but she's a homebody and wants to stay home and cook. So we will go there after, but he still thinks it's not good enough.....

I have posted my Christmas situation before, my first married Christmas was horrible.......I think I'll be spending it alone this year becauseI can't take it....it is EVERY YEAR EVERY HOLIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

---

Posted by N.Y.bride

We go through it and I have to go to THREE houses every holiday!!!!!!!!!

Its very hard. I feel like we spend most holidays eating and running!

---

And is that fair to you?

---

Posted by curliegirl

---

Posted by N.Y.bride

We go through it and I have to go to THREE houses every holiday!!!!!!!!!

Its very hard. I feel like we spend most holidays eating and running!

---

And is that fair to you?

---

Nope! I wish the parents would just understand and be like o.k. Easter here, Christmas there etc.. but they all act sad, but they even act sad when we show up and then leave before everyone else!! Theres no winning!

At least we dont have to go too far. Port Jeff, Miller Place, Medford and then usually Huntington or Seaford.

My friend does Jersey and here!!

I hear ya. I spent Easter in NJ and in Suffolk County, it was terrible...we spent more time in the car. For Mothers Day I told him you go to your moms and I'm going to mine, I just cant do the running around again, its really exhausting. I truly do not enjoy the holidays since being married, its so sad. Hopefully once we buy a house things will change.

We work holidays. We don't have to deal with this and we get holiday pay!

---

Posted by waterspout4

We work holidays. We don't have to deal with this and we get holiday pay!

---

I want your job!!!!