How do you encourage DH to lose weight?

I've tried to sit down and have a talk with him - for years now.
I've tried the yelling and screaming method - he just rebells.

He's gained almost 10 pounds in the less than 2 months since the wedding.

He's growing a stomach, which I can't stand!
We get home late, so we end up eating dinner after 9pm, but I try to encourage him to eat just salads at that time. So it's not as though he eats too much, it's just that he doesn't exercise enought.

He used to go to the gym at 5:30am (but for just 1/2 an hour), but now he doesn't want to get up early.

What would you do?

---

Posted by vika111

I've tried to sit down and have a talk with him - for years now.
I've tried the yelling and screaming method - he just rebells.

He's gained almost 10 pounds in the less than 2 months since the wedding.

He's growing a stomach, which I can't stand!
We get home late, so we end up eating dinner after 9pm, but I try to encourage him to eat just salads at that time. So it's not as though he eats too much, it's just that he doesn't exercise enought.

He used to go to the gym at 5:30am (but for just 1/2 an hour), but now he doesn't want to get up early.

What would you do?

---

This is HARD...when i started dating Pete, he was all sorts of godly man eye candy. HUGE muscles, tight abs etc. but when he started driving a truck he couldnt eat well and exercise and on the weekends he is lazy. I have tried telling him Ill go with him but doesnt work well. he feel rejected.

Maybe start cooking more but deliberately make the meals healtheir//low cal and start portioning better. I portion emat and fish as soon as I get home into single servings so whetehr he is home or not, neither of us overeats. he may fight it at first but thats why they are called portions; no one NEEDS more that that..they just want it.

Also encourage him when it gets warmer to go out with you on hikes or walks. DH liked doing that with me. He likes exploring the woods and reservation by us.

I think it is cute that your DH is the one that gained the NW 10 and that you think 10 lbs is not flattering on him! But only cause I like bigger guys!

Eating anything at 9pm isn't great unless your bedtime is 1AM. There is nothing you can do to forcesomeone to lose weight, and yelling and screaming would make anyone rebel. DH and Iknew a NYresolution would not work,so we ate the leftovers and when I go shopping now we arebuying healthier which will make it easier with healthy food in the house. As far as working out, that is a personal issue. I would just sit him down and tellhim that his appearance isn't attractive in your eyes and how would he feel if you let yourself go? Maybe he might see it if you switched it around on him, but during the conversation you should reassure him that you will love him no matter what, you are just worried about him

It sounds like you both work a lot and don't have a lot of spare time - it can be really hard to fit in an exercise routine if you're always on the go and tired as it is. I could NEVER wake up to go to the gym before work so I don't blame him for not wanting to go then especially now that it's cold and dark in the AM.

JMO, but from the way your post is written it sounds like most of your efforts to encourage him to lose weight have been about implying that you don't like the way he looks. Especially if you have done some yelling and screaming... Again, it's JMO and I'm not trying to insult you, but I think if you're concerned about his health and about him gaining some weight then you need to focus on that. The best thing would be if you could be on a healthy plan together including exercise together. Some days you may need more than a salad for dinner even if it's a little late because eating more rounded meals at home might keep him (or both of you?) from being tempted by junk during the day.

I could never succeed with a healthy lifestyle when I was just focusing on how I felt fat. It wasn't until I realized it was about being healthy that I was able to stick to it and care about it. You are a good wife to care about his health.

Take it from someone who has a weight issue... there is nothing you are going to do or say to make him change. He has to want to change for himself. And I am sure if you told him that you can't stand his growing stomach, you will insult him and I know you don't want to do that.

I agree with PeteysBride when she said cook healhier. Portion control will be a big help. When I first started Weight Watchers, I did not exercise at all and lost 25 pounds in 4 months. So being that he is busy and works late, try changing that first and see what happens.

---

Posted by MnM52607

Take it from someone who has a weight issue... there is nothing you are going to do or say to make him change. He has to want to change for himself. And I am sure if you told him that you can't stand his growing stomach, you will insult him and I know you don't want to do that.

I agree with PeteysBride when she said cook healhier. Portion control will be a big help. When I first started Weight Watchers, I did not exercise at all and lost 25 pounds in 4 months. So being that he is busy and works late, try changing that first and see what happens.

---

ITA, there really isn't anything you can do to make someone want to lose weight, they have to want it for themselves. The best thing you could do is set a good example whit eating/exercise habits, maybe have your together time be more active (go snowshoeing, skiing, build a snowman, go hiking etc.).

If DH yelled and screamed at me to lose weight, I would be miserable and very upset with him, if it comtinued our realtionship wouldn't last

first - you have to love him for who he is. that being said you need to care about his health - is he eating too many fatty foods and not balanced enough? etc. because there will be long term consequences for him...
I've started to get myself back on track so I need to take control of the cooking more and so DH is also reaping the rewards because he's eating the same foods...try doing more of the cooking and incorporate fresh and healthy ingredients. Guys don't need to be starved or too strict on portions as much as women do to lose weight - cutting back on beer, soda, and other 'bad foods' just a little can result in lots of weight loss for them...my DH stops drinking soda for a week and loses 5 pounds and I want to kill him (because it is so much harder for me)

i do encourage him to lose weight but he will only do it on his terms and at his speed.

He's gained about 30 lbs since i started dating him. (7 years ) None of which he should have he was a perfect weight.

his job, eating habbits and crazy sleeping times threw him off, hes also gotten a lot lazier and slowed as he is nearing 30

he has a lot of heart disease in his family, that is the only real reason i push him.

We just bought bikes and now we ride usually both weekend days, and we do not eat out at all anymore except for the weekends, I cook every night and give him portion control. I also make him lunch and he likes that I kinda in a way control his eating habbits. Hes come tot he point now where he can make his lunch with just healthy stuff (there aren't any unhealthy options in the house anymore)

But I cannot fight with him over it. Its not worth it. maybe if he was like 100 lbs over.

He also works out everyday now and runs on an average 7 miles. (but its for his job and he doesn't have a choice)

Hes lost 22lbs in 8 weeks now.

what I've learned about guys is that they never joump on the banwagon to do somethign when they are told.
My hubby has to start feeling uncomfy with himself b4 he decided he needs to do something about it. i like bigger guys so it doesnt really bother me but i tell him when i think something is getting out of hand and that usually tends to set of some kind of lightbulb.
Dont foget that like us.. u guys got married and then the holidays started. so all that extra holiday eating doesnt help.
If he doenst wnat to work out.. just try to cook healthyer and give him smaller portion.

HTH

I can't make my husband lose weight, although he is seriously overweight. He needs to do this for himself. Nagging from me will only make the situation worse.
What I can do is have a sitdown with him and let him know how I feel. It took us a long time to find each other, and at the ages of 45 (him) and 41 (me) I would like us to be together for a long time. I did this about his smoking, and while he hasn't quit yet, he does not smoke in front of me. Not fair to jeopardize my health.

I cannot control what he eats for breakfast or lunch, but I can change a little bit the way he eats at home.
I cook healthy, got him to eat a salad before the main meal, got him to eat more veggies.
I rarely buy junk food. If it is not in the house, then he can't eat it. He likes to eat cheese and dried sausage, but when I make up a plate of this, I add some sliced apple or some grapes.
When he does eat chips, he eats them out of a small bowl instead of the bag.
He needs to exercise. As a bus driver, the only walking he does is to and from the bus at the depot. At home he is a couch potato. We are going to start evening walks when the weather gets warmer. I walk everywhere.
Don't get me wrong, I am no skinny minny either. But I am healthy - got a clean bill of health from my cardiologist after a little scare in the summer.

Don't nag. It will only cause resentment.