How would this work?

I'm leaving for SF today to go dress shopping with my friend that just got engaged.

I'm her MOH. She lives in Lake Tahoe. Her parents are in NY - they're her only family here. Her sister (a BM) is in Texas. The other BM is in SF. Her FH family is in Florida and Tennesee. She has her extended family in Oregon and Texas.

Where would we have a bridal shower for her? The wedding is in Tahoe in October.

Re: How would this work?

Tahoe?

or New York since that's where the brides parents live.

But I have no idea with everyone all over the place like that.

Re: How would this work?

I would ask the bride what she wants but ultimately I think the person who is paying for/hosting/throwing the shower gets to decide. So if thats you, you should do it where it possible for you to plan since throwing a shower in a city you dont live in would be virtually impossible to do.

Re: How would this work?

Maybe it's a longshot, but can you have her shower when everyone gets together for the wedding?? I don't know how feasible it is to ask everyone to fly wherever for a shower - she wouldn't have anyone there IMHO. But for a shower/wedding combo, that might work.

Re: How would this work?

I'd have to agree with Vicki....maybe a combo weekend shower/wedding could work. I've seen that on A Wedding Story, especially for destination weddings.

Do you feel comfortable discussing it with her Mom to see if she has a sense of where to host it...and if she can maybe give you some thoughts on who might make a trip to NY for the shower?

I also agree that the bride should at least be asked about her feelings. The reality is, with everyone so scattered, there is little chance that her shower will be a 'surprise' b/c it will have to be orchestrated so precisely with so many out of towners involved.

But as an alternative - you and the other BM could have just a 'girls weekend' with the bride to be in Napa or something fun like that!

Re: How would this work?

What about having 2 showers? One with the brides family and one with grooms? That may be tough but may work.

Re: How would this work?

We did what Vicki your friend suggested. I had a shower when I got to NYC the week before my wedding. It was well attended and went really well.

Re: How would this work?

I'm going to talk to her about while I'm there over the next few days and I plan on talking to her mom about it too. I like the idea of having it around the same time as the wedding, but no one will be in Tahoe a week before. At most, it would be a day or two before the wedding.

Her sister is getting married in July, so I'm also going to find out if and how they're having a shower for her.

As a side note, she was one of my BMs and did not attend my NY shower/bachlorette party weekend.