I am tired of being nice all the time....

Lately I feel like I can't win. At work. With my family. Against my weight. Anything I do just doesn't work (except my marriage that is fine ).

Every day I go to work and absolutely hate it - I don't like what I do and I feel like everyone is a backstabber. But due to the nature of my job (HR) I 95% of the time have to be nice. Although by me being nice all the time I feel like I do get trampled on. There is no respect at all in my office - everyone there thinks HR is set up to bend over backwards. I understand that my job has a certain element of customer service to it but I do feel taken advantage of a lot. And it's not just me, my whole dept feels this way. I am taking the NJ state teaching exam in March and as soon as I pass and get my certificate I can start applying for teaching jobs and my long term plan is to go back for my Masters once I am teaching so that I can go after school. But in the meantime I am so miserable - the only thing that keeps me positive is the thought that I am doing something about it and this is (hopefully) the last year in corporate America.

Then there is my family. I live in NJ and they all live in Queens. They were annoyed that my DH and I decided to buy a house in NJ because it is 'so far'. (An hour drive ). Well, of course I don't see them as often as they would like and we have our own life here and things to do etc. We tried to get together a few times since Christmas but then things came up and then we had the blizzard and we haven't gotten the chance. I said very casually to my sister this weekend (she is 19) that maybe they could come over if I got another puppy this weekend - I was joking. Well, my sister calls me last night and says 'We are coming over tomorrow right?' I said, no - I have laundry and grocery shopping to do. (We celebrated Valentine's day on Sat.) Bottom line is, we're busy. She got all pissed at me. Then my mom calls me today and said 'Oh we thought we were coming over today'. Huh? I said to her 'If I am going to directly invite you over, I will call you and invite you with a specific time and day - not some vague invitation'. She was ok with that and I invited my family over next Sunday for dinner.

I just saw my sister online now and told her that we watched the movie Ray tonight. She said 'Oh I thought you were SO busy today'. And I told her Listen I do not have to justify my daily itinerary to you or anyone else! And now she is not talking to me.

I just feel like I try to please everyone and can't win. I don't know how to fix it without doing a total 180 and becoming a nasty B to everyone. Any advice?

Wow, I think you and I are living the same life!!!

I'm also in HR and sick of being nice to the big crybabies in the company who think they deserve EVERYTHING. Little do they know how hard we work to get them what they have and they never appreciate us. I'm looking forward to starting my Teaching Certification in September so I can leave this corporate life and stop dealing with all the politics.

I live in NJ and all my family and friends are in LI and Delaware and it's like the BIGGEST chore for them to ever visit us; instead we schlep to LI almost every weekend to see them. And whenever we don't feel like coming out, we feel like we have to make excuses instead of just being able to say 'we don't feel like it and we would like to spend one whole weekend in our own home!!'

My weight is this huge issue all over again because I slipped up when I went off weight watchers so it's like starting from scratch.

But my marriage is great - we're TTC and having fun at that!!


I think part of your solution is just what you did here and being able to vent to all of us.

My recent solution (in order to keep my stress level down) has been to stop doing the unnecessary things. For example, I usuallly bring candy and cookies for holidays at work and this weekend I decided not to run around like a loon and bake them for my ungrateful coworkers. Instead I finished all the laundry early and caught up on my Tivo'd shows. It felt great!!

Are there things you can cut out at home or at work??

Hope it helps to know other's are going through the same stuff. Feel free to FM me at any time. Maybe we can try a NJ GTG again??

WOW. I always wanted to work in HR. I guess I'll rethink my plan.

Hugs to you both

I's so sorry you are feeling this way!
I'm feeling a lot like this too! I hate my job- our new president knows nothing- nice person but worst manager- the whole place is disorganized. Ironically, I'm trying to move back into HR- I took a social work hiatus and it's been hard trying to get back into the corporate world. Also, my parents are giving me a hard time about where we live- we just bought a house in E. Northport and my mom is feeling like I deserted her- they live in Brooklyn- also, an hour away!! I've been trying to make an effort to see her a lot but it isn't helping too much- she keeps sighing dramatically and saying things like 'I wish I could be more a part of your life.'

Your sister will come around.. a lot of it has to do with her age and adjusting to the fact that big sis got married and moved away.

Most of my family lives in NJ, and I grew up with just my parents in CT. We always used to say that you needed a passport to get over the bridges, and that's why no one ever came to see us.

NJ is NOT so far from Queens.

Now, tell me about this puppy?

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Posted by PrincessRose

Most of my family lives in NJ, and I grew up with just my parents in CT. We always used to say that you needed a passport to get over the bridges, and that's why no one ever came to see us.

NJ is NOT so far from Queens.

Now, tell me about this puppy?

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thanks

<~~~my little girl Casey my 7 month old bundle of energy! keeps us busy - wonderful dog and my 2 cats little sister!

Hey Jen-
Just wanted to give you a big ol'
(I work with Jen) but I'm NOT one of the everyday taking advantage crew! I can vouch, it's seriously out of control! We'll be eating lunch behind closed doors and people will barge in to ask a STUPID question. I'm sorry, I just have more respect for HR than that, and people for that matter! If someone's eating lunch- MAKE AN APPOINTMENT, or simply come back later!!!! I get very defensive of Jen!

Jen, you keep in mind both of our plans!!!! Don't you- for one second- let those people get to you. When they say something rude.....like my boss today, smile and think, ah- just another reason I'll be a teacher soon!

I hate my job too. I hated my job so much, that I've started a business that I've been working on for over a year (that's for another thread some day though).
You're going to be a great teacher soon, and live closer to home, so you're not getting home at 8pm every night.

It's only a little longer now! Summer is on the way. ( I feel like the Kerry campaign... Help is on the way!) LOLOLOL

OK- my LL

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Posted by mv1003

Hey Jen-
Just wanted to give you a big ol'
(I work with Jen) but I'm NOT one of the everyday taking advantage crew! I can vouch, it's seriously out of control! We'll be eating lunch behind closed doors and people will barge in to ask a STUPID question. I'm sorry, I just have more respect for HR than that, and people for that matter! If someone's eating lunch- MAKE AN APPOINTMENT, or simply come back later!!!! I get very defensive of Jen!

Jen, you keep in mind both of our plans!!!! Don't you- for one second- let those people get to you. When they say something rude.....like my boss today, smile and think, ah- just another reason I'll be a teacher soon!

I hate my job too. I hated my job so much, that I've started a business that I've been working on for over a year (that's for another thread some day though).
You're going to be a great teacher soon, and live closer to home, so you're not getting home at 8pm every night.

It's only a little longer now! Summer is on the way. ( I feel like the Kerry campaign... Help is on the way!) LOLOLOL

OK- my LL

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Thank you LL!!!!!!!!!
rude *** mo'fos that we work with!

Just another day at the office! Ugh- people!!!!