i hate feeling like this...

does anyone else feel like this? don't get me wrong- i appreciate EVERYTHING we got, and if you knew me you would know i'm NOT usually greedy/snotty like this. ok... so we've been married about a year and a half. we were pretty much the first to get marriedin our group of friends and our families. we really didn't 'make' much in gifts because DHs family is from PA where weddings literally cost $20 a person, and my family hasn't had a wedding in years so they have no idea how much weddings cost today. our average gift was about $50-$100. we had several families with children in their 20s ( who have decent jobs) who came and the children didn't give us separete gifts- just $100 from the parents. now, we're starting to get invited to these childrens weddings, and i can't help feeling like i don't want to give these kids gifts, because they didn't give us separate gifts for our wedding. as i said, - i appreciate EVERYTHING we got, and if you knew me you would know i'm not normally greedy/snotty like this... but now that our friends are starting to get married and i hear how much they got in gifts from their families, etc i can't help feeling like we got screwed.
ETA: what would you do about the 'children' in their 20s who came to our wedding but didn't give seperate gifts, but now we're being invited to their weddings....

this is a tough one!

btw, i know how you feel... something very similar happened to us.

i think the previous poster had a good point. give $50-$100.

hth

dude! i got a $35 check from someone that came to the wedding!

my weding was in JULY at villa lombardi's, we have extra everything including veniese. . . . spent aloottt of $ and im like $35!!!

hehehe...but watever!

Its tough, I would give them $50 then.

in your situation, I would def not give a 'NY gift' for a PA wedding, for ppl who didn't give you a thing.

I would probably give no more than $100.

We had something similar happen. A guest showed up with a date when the RSVP we got back was for 1. They gave us an empty card. I would not have been so offended had we known about the date in advance (a wedding planner no less).

This guest got married about 5 months later (not to the date from our wedding). I did not want to attend at all (OOT wedding, hotel, gas to drive 3 hours) but DH did. We gave them $50 (covered our plates). I was fine with giving them an empty card but DH would not go for it.

we went to a pa wedding in april before our ny wedding. but the family was originally from ny so it was a typical ny wedding. we gave $300, the bride was a close friend our my dh. she gave us the same gift, she was in the bp, dh was not in her's.

in your situation, if you are going give $75-$100, if you are not going, send a gift off the registry.

I'm sorry! It's a very tough situation. My DH's family is from upstate NY and PA too...so I can definitely relate. I was surprised by how many people didn't give us gifts at all. My family and friends more than made up for it, but I did find myself a little bothered by some of what happened. But I'm starting to get over it...people do what they are used to, and I will give the same amount to people that they gave me when their turn comes. I always over-give, and having my wedding made me realize that I don't need to anymore with most people.

What's most important though is that everyone was there to share your special day!

---

Posted by Katie&Chris2006

I'm sorry! It's a very tough situation. My DH's family is from upstate NY and PA too...so I can definitely relate. I was surprised by how many people didn't give us gifts at all. My family and friends more than made up for it, but I did find myself a little bothered by some of what happened. But I'm starting to get over it...people do what they are used to, and I will give the same amount to people that they gave me when their turn comes. I always over-give, and having my wedding made me realize that I don't need to anymore with most people.

What's most important though is that everyone was there to share your special day!

---

I had a similar experience. And while I am all up for the arguement 'you shouldnt expect gifts' BLAH BLAH BLAH
I have to say I was pretty shocked. I expecially appreciated the digital alarm clock from Target. NOW thats a gift that keeps on giving

I wouldnt give more than 100 or better yet, save the gas and send them a 'Things Remembered' thing

---

Posted by SweetCin704

I'd give the going rate for PA....$50 or so...or I wouldn't go to the wedding at all & send a token gift

---

I agree.

We had an OOT guest give 25 bucks...

I would get a cheaper gift from the registry, or give 50 bucks...