two of my bridesmaids really hit it off and they have becoem friends on their own. They usually invite me to join them when they go out, but lately I know they have not. Which is fine. But part of me can't help but feeling LEFT OUT. One of my bridesmaids seems to now be closer to my friends than I AM to them! She seems to always update me on my friends, and it makes me feel uncomfortable.
Thoughts?
She's also not married and proly has more time to go out with them and do things with them. I already feel guilty for not calling my friends enough and now this.
lilacwine
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Re: I need advice regarding friends...
I know how you feel. Some of my BMs have independently remained in touch, too.
It's a little weird, but it's so much better this way than if they didn't get along.
jessnyc711
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Re: I need advice regarding friends...
I understand this feeling....you don't want to be childish, but I understand how you can feel uncomfortable. I have a friend who is very needy and always wants to go out etc...I don't think she has many close friends. Well I always invite her out with me and my friends and make her feel part of our group. So now she expects me to always include her and then tries to 'claim my friends' as Her Friends. And then she tries to find out if I've been hanging out with them without her. It's so annoying. Then she also copied my friends email from an my email which I was so shocked by, so now she forwards my friends jokes. It's really hard in this situation, because it's cool that your friends clicked, but now they basically are doing their own thing. I feel that certain friends you have to have boundries with or friends should be considerate of each other.
Sweetd
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Re: I need advice regarding friends...
I know how you feel. I had a similar situation. That is a normal feeling. I felt left out two when two of my best friends, got really close and hung out all the time and sometimes without me. At first it bothered me, but now I am used to it. I don't even get jealous any more. We are all best friends now. But yes, at first I will admit it is weird.
FunBride
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Re: I need advice regarding friends...
Thanks for the support - i also feel like it is wierd that I am married and still having feelings that remind me of when I was in high school! I dont want to be a in a 'clique' with 4 best friends, and talk on the phone every night, and feel left out if i'm not on conference call - ya know? there has to be a line made somewhere. what's also hard for me is thati 'm a young bride (26) and most of my friends are butt-single.
Soon2BLIgirls
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Re: I need advice regarding friends...
It's probably just because they're single and you're a married woman now. Try not to take it personally.
fashionbride
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Re: I need advice regarding friends...
Instead of worrying about your friends and not being included, why not try to enjoy the fact that you have a new best friend in your husband and the other friends are always going to be on the peripheral. Things unfortunately will never be the same with your friends, and you'll see that one by one as they get boyfriends and then get married, the relationships that you always had in the past will be constantly changing anyway...it's just a matter of time before everyone experiences this, so the best thing to do is just accept that it's not the same anymore..in fact it's better....because you can adjust to the change even quicker than anyone else can...
They should all be jealous that they're not with you and your new best friend!
jessnyc711
Posted:
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Re: I need advice regarding friends...
That was very true advice, your relationships do change, you can't force people to not hangout together. Just try to focus on your individual relationship with the two friendds and treat them how you normally would and dont worry about them hanging out without you.
