If you could change anything about the way you were raised...

If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be? What would you like to keep and pass to your own kids one day?

This one is a little more thought provoking and sensitive I know, but we're a pretty non judgemental group I think.

Mine...would have to be that A) My mother and father NEVER showed affaection in front of one another though they were loving to us. That messed up my relationships with men becasue wasn't very demonstrative. Treated them the way my mom treats my dad...we wont go there but its not great for a stable, healthy relationship, but they've known one another 40 years...so neither is going anywhere.

If DH and I ever have kids, I don't think its bad to share a chaste kiss, hold hands, say I LOVE YOU for crying out loud, in front of the kids, because teaches them its ok to love.

B) Teach my kids that family is IMPORTANT BUT when you get amrried and start your own life, its OK to put your kids and your spouse before your parents and their siblings. Unless of course its something bad or serious liek an abusive relationship.

I was raised by my mom's example-she always puts her sisters before my dad, and me and drives me WILD because she does it even when its soemthign serious that she SHOULD take our side on because the sissters ae wrong. But ehr excuse is always 'they are my sisters! NO ONE comes between us.' NOT HEALTHY...you should totally be faithful to your family, but when you get married and have kids, that IS your family...

Just my own thoughts...

Good one......I love my parents dearly but I was so sheltered and they were so strict when growing up I didn't know what to do with myself when I got to college and I went alittle crazy......

I would have to say I wish that they lightened up alittle I would have experienced alittle more maybe in a better way.......

I wish my parents would have FORCED me to eat vegetables. I was a very stubborn child and it was easier for my mom to give me something else than make me eat stuff I didn't like. But now I have terrible eating habits I can't get past. I hate everything about vegetables and it makes losing weight and being healthy difficult.

So even if my kids hate them, they WILL eat their vegetables.

I would have liked to be raised more independently, and I would love for my parents to have taken me more seriously when I was younger. (I am the youngest of 3 and my sis and bro are a lot older than me). Plus, they were really strict with me.

I always promised myself that I would raise my kids with respect and love (like my parents did) but I will not shut away their dreams and thoughts. I will respect them and treat them like they are adults - and even if they make the wrong decisions, they will have a better time accepting it, and learning from their mistakes. This is how DH was raised, and I really look up to my MIL b/c of that.

What I will bring that my parents taught me is value, family traditions, and respect.

I would have changed the fact that they forced me to go to a specific college. I hated it and only went 1 1/2 years then dropped out. You think they would have learned their lesson, nope. They did the same to my brother because they didn't want to 'waste' their money like they did with me and he dropped out too. Thank God we both have very good well paying jobs. But if they would have let us pick our owns schools I wonder if we would have went all the way!

My parents have taught me so many valuable lessons that I feel forever in their debt because it.
-The value of money and how important it is to save. I've been saving money since my 1st job and it showed with the wedding I pulled off.
-How important it is for my brother and me to be close. We love each other to death and would do anything for each other. My parents have very bad relationships with most of their brothers and sisters. I could never see that happening to us. I hope that my childen will be like us.
-How important it is to work at a marriage. My parents had their ups and downs like everyone else but they worked through them. They seem happier and more in love now than ever!
-How imprtant it is to take care of the ones you loved. My grandfather lived with us while we were growing up and when he got sick he continued to live with us. My parents always took care of him. Up until the tie he passed away. My mothers Godfather got sick about 2 1/2 years ago and he move din with us until he died last spring. My parents are very good hearted people and I am happy knowing that some of it (definitely not all) rubbed off on me.

There is so much more but I have to leave work now!

I would tell my amazing mother not to hide so much stuff from my brother's and I about my father. We grew up under the illusion that he was always 'father of the year' ...only to grow up and see the hell that he had put my mother through. I understand my mom's intentions in protecting us and never wanting us to turn away from my dad...but as we got older & weren't so naive anymore, and reality set in about the REAL him, well it was gradually very shocking.

other than that...nothing really. my mom is amazing & i really don't have a complaint about anything else. I know i'm the person I am today because of her. She instilled in me everything I want to be, and everything I don't want to be. (love u mom ) and even in what i wrote above..i DO understand her intentions in doing what she did..i just feel bad with everything she put up with & held inside for so long...and that maybe if she DID put everything my dad did out in the open, and DIDN'T put up with & hide all his crap he pulled for years, that maybe he would've port forth the effort to change?? i dont know. I just love my mommy & wish she could've been happy all those years

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Posted by HelenZ

oh I have a whole bag of issues about how my parents raised me & my sis!!! we basically raised ourselves, but I'm just not going into it! maybe one day if I go to therapy I'll get it all out!

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-snugs helen up- I missed this one before but you needed a hug and I like giving em -grins- germs and all. LOL what i miss most about my 2nd grade class-u had a crappy day, kids are always willing to hand out free therapy with skinny arms and grubby hands.

My dad forced me to eat meat alot. We will give our children all different kinds of food to try. Yes, they will need to try it but if they honestly don't like we will not force what they don't like on them but yes they will need to eat and not Yodels everyday.

I know that my parents had confidence in me. I do wish that my dad had a little bit more confidence in me. I love my dad and I always will. He is watching over me.

Michael and I have been cooking together lately. I would have been some major cooking before hand if my dad had let me.

We will giving our children loads of confidence.

~dancer and chef~
charlotte and michael