and you have company that does what do you do? Do you provide them with an ash tray???
I am sort of pissed off. I had purchased these cute candle holders for outside. I put them on the porch out back. After one day that I had MIL and DH's Best Man over for something, I noticed that the place where you put a candle in the holders, was filled with cigarettes and ash. I was sort of upset that they were so disrespectful and didn't ask for something and they just figured it was okay to put that crap in my new candle holders. I confronted them about it and they said 'we didn't have an ashtray'. I really don't want to spend my money on buying ashtrays when I am not even going to be the one using it, and when I am going to be the one who has to clean that stuff up.
Do you accommodate smokers when they come to your house???
Plus, I am a little pissed b/c I just saw the dog eating something outside, I pulled it out of his mouth and it was a match!!!! I also caught him eating a cigarette butt once.
Since DH and I don't smoke, I don't think about those sorts of things when we have company. What would you do?
BTW: I am not saying that people who smoke are terrible people, and whatever else may get people mad lol I just want to know what you guys would do. Thanks.
RisiLeigh
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Member since
Re: If you don't smoke...
That's a really good question! DH smokes, as you know, so I guess I wouldn't really have to worry about it. He is only allowed to smoke in our basement or outside. I am trying to think when my SIL has parties and stuff... I truthfully don't think she supplies ashtrays for the smokers. I think they just go outside and do whatever... I guess I never really thought about it LOL! I will have to pay attention next time I am there for a party!
That would piss me off, too, if they didn't even ask and just used whatever was handy for their cigs.
SFAR89
Posted:
Member since
Re: If you don't smoke...
Posted by RisiLeigh
That's a really good question! DH smokes, as you know, so I guess I wouldn't really have to worry about it. He is only allowed to smoke in our basement or outside. I am trying to think when my SIL has parties and stuff... I truthfully don't think she supplies ashtrays for the smokers. I think they just go outside and do whatever... I guess I never really thought about it LOL! I will have to pay attention next time I am there for a party!
That would piss me off, too, if they didn't even ask and just used whatever was handy for their cigs.
I didn't know he smokes lol Did you ever smoke??
I just think it was rude of them to use whatever was laying around instead of asking...but then again, should I be the one to provide something?? I am thinking the answer would be yes, just b/c they are my guests and if I know they smoke...then I should provide something for them. I just thought what they did was rude.
lillprincess54
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Member since
Re: If you don't smoke...
me and DH do not smoke, but when we first moved into our home i went to the $1 store and the had 4 ashtrays for $1. I purchase them , bc my parents and DH parents smoke along with many other family members. I much rather spend a few bucks on ash trays then spending an hour after a bbq to clean up cigarettes.
Also when we can guest over who do smoke, you must go outside there is no smoking in our home.
dajc23
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Member since
Re: If you don't smoke...
No one is allowed to smoke in my home. But honestly I never really had an issue with it b/c everyone who does smoke automatically goes outside.
kirstenjk
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Member since
Re: If you don't smoke...
We don't smoke and we don't allow anyone to smoke in our home so we don't have ashtrays. If they need a cigarette, they can go out on our deck. I'll give them a disposable plastic cup filled with water to dump their ashes and cigarette butts in and ask that they do not smoke near the door.
Both your MIL and your DH's friend should have asked for something to put their cigarette butts in - they are adults and it is inexcusable to use a candleholder or whatever happens to be near by for this purpose. Being a non-smoker, it's not your responsibility to provide them with an ashtray - it's up to them to ask for something.
RisiLeigh
Posted:
Member since
Re: If you don't smoke...
Posted by SFAR89
Posted by RisiLeigh
That's a really good question! DH smokes, as you know, so I guess I wouldn't really have to worry about it. He is only allowed to smoke in our basement or outside. I am trying to think when my SIL has parties and stuff... I truthfully don't think she supplies ashtrays for the smokers. I think they just go outside and do whatever... I guess I never really thought about it LOL! I will have to pay attention next time I am there for a party!
That would piss me off, too, if they didn't even ask and just used whatever was handy for their cigs.
I didn't know he smokes lol Did you ever smoke??
Yeah, he has been 'trying to quit' since before we met in 2004 LOL! I was never a smoker. As a matter of fact, I have asthma, so that's why he isn't allowed to smoke around me. If you had asked me in 2004 if I thought I'd end up marrying a smoker I would've laughed in your face LOL! But damnit, I went and fell in love so there went that theory
lucamon
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Member since
Re: If you don't smoke...
Yes, we accomodate our smoker friends for the very same reason you mentioned. Everyone ashed in our candles and patio and it was gross! For me it wasn't so bad because I used to smoke but DH never smokes.
Espo22
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Member since
Re: If you don't smoke...
let me say that I am a smoker and i think that was VERY rude for somebody to do.
And as a smoker NO you do not have to accommodate anybody, its not your problem and no reason why you should. If i go to someone's house and they don't smoke, of course I never smoke in the house but when i do go outside, i go by the curb to smoke. I also wouldn't throw my cig in front of their house and ESPECIALLY not throw it in a candle holder or anything of theirs. Dh does this thing where he pushes out the cherry and only the filter is left and we throw that in the garbage.
Even when DH lived at home, he couldnt smoke inside so we would always smoke outside. We never even did this at his house and he used to get mad bc his brother used to throw it in front of their sidewalk and dh would always end up picking them all up all the time lol. Even if its your own home why would you want cigarette butts everywhere ya know.
ChristineAaron08
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Member since
Re: If you don't smoke...
I rent an apt from my parents so they live downstairs and my sis and her DH live downstairs. My sister and my Dad smoke, but they don't smoke in the house. They (and any guests) smoke in a designated area in the garage. They put the cigs out and throw them in the trash. My dad is the smoker and he would NEVER EVER EVER allow buts or ashes or anything on his precious lawn
I think it was extremely RUDE of them to ash in your candle holders!! They should have just put the cigs out and made sure they went in the garbage. Especially since they know you have a dog who could get into the buts. It's even ruder for them to justify it and turn it back on you b/c YOU didnt supply ash trays, W T F kind of BS is that ?!?!?
Mici n KC
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Member since
Re: If you don't smoke...
DH and I don't smoke and we have family and friends that do. Ever since I had my first apartment, I got ashtrays because people could go on the balcony to smoke and not flick the butts off to the park below. I keep the ashtray outside so people don't throw their butts on our lawn. Not that I think they would, but still, even throwing it in the street is bad.
sophisticat13
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Member since
Re: If you don't smoke...
We don't smoke but have friends that do...butt they always go outside and I never noticed any butts there, so I'm assuming they put them in the garbage can...I would be really upset if ppl put their butts in my candle holders For that reason, even though it's not necessarily something you are obligated to do, I would provide ashtrays next time...if only to keep from having to buy or clean candleholders and other things ppl might use as ashtrays.
mrsjpc3
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Member since
Re: If you don't smoke...
i dont accommodate smokers, i dont have an ashtray or anything else like that. If the guests go outside to smoke, I'll give them a red SOLO cup with a little water in it. That way you can just toss it in the trash cans outside when they leave. no cleanup.
GinaZ
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Member since
Re: If you don't smoke...
If I had a balcony, I'd put an ashtry out there. But we don't. So too bad if you smoke. Go outside. I don't want my apartment to stink of cigarettes. The smell would get into my furniture and I def dont want that. And I have asthma so ya. I have never had a guest ask to smoke in my apartment anyway. They always assume since there is no balcony, that they have to go outside.
ETA: Your guests should have asked for something to throw the ashes and buts in and not assumed the candles were okay to use. That was rude of them.
Butterfly123
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Member since
Re: If you don't smoke...
I dont accomodate cigarette smokers. They have to walk out front of my apartment. And I dont provide ashtrays out there either.
FinallyMrsB18
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Member since
Re: If you don't smoke...
we don't smoke. but if we have smokers over i put something out on the patio for them. usually it is a soda can, or something with water that can go in the garbage. or i will put out a little glass dish (from ikea not sure what it is vase, candle thing) that can go in the dishwasher. i am worried if i don't what happened to you would happen. and i worry about my puppy too. if i were u i would buy a cheap ashtray or dish or something glass, and just keep it somewhere especially since it is ur MIL and she will be over again. it ***** but it is what it is.
MikeandJess
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Member since
Re: If you don't smoke...
we don't and I guess we should? DH is always making comments about my father throwing his cigarette butts on the floor (of the backyard or front stoop) and I do think it's rude but what is he supposed to do with them if we're not providing an ash tray?
MCA1180
Posted:
Member since
Re: If you don't smoke...
that's very rude and inconsiderate to ash their cigs in your candle holders!! ... what is wrong with people! what would make someone say 'hmm, let me use the host's candle holder to ash my cig'... even if you didn't have ashtrays they could've asked you for a plastic cup with water, that's what I do when there's no ashtray available....
Some people can be so rude, throwing their cigarette butts in your garden, driveway, lawn, etc... my favorite is when they want to be respectful and not throw them on the host's property.. so they throw them on the neighbor's property instead.... like you need a problem with the neighbor's because of your guest!! lol
If you prefer to just give them an ashtray next time, so you don't have to aggravate yourself, or have potential problems with neighbors or landlord... I know they sell multi-pack of ashtrays at the 99cent store. You can keep them outside so they don't even need to ask.
I would always keep something handy for guests, so they don't find new ways to dispose of their cigarettes...
Butterfly123
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Member since
Re: If you don't smoke...
I dont think non smokers should have to worry about putting an ashtray out because people will throw their butts on the floor. Smokers should have the manners to find a place to dispose of the butts and not litter in front of someones home or use their candleholder (that was so rude of them) Its already an inconvenience as it is having people walk in and out of the house for their habit.
RockysGirl
Posted:
Member since
Re: If you don't smoke...
i kind of have a 'no smoking in my house' rule. I just don't like the smell at all and it always makes me choke. If i go to somebody's house who IS a smoker, I'm not the type to get all crazy about it. Just deal with it, ya know? But in my house, I'd really rather people keep that outside. So for ME, I feel like I wouldn't really provide anything (like an ashtray). I would assume that they would respect that i can't handle the smoke and would just go outside and deal with the cigarettes off my property. But if you have people who are disrespecting your things, maybe you SHOULD consider getting an ashtray (esp if you don't mind it in your house). It's just like anything else I guess - like even though I don't drink coffee, I'll still have some to accommodate guests, kwim?
one of my pet peeves tho is finding cigarettes on my lawn I hate that. Especially when the dog find them. Yuck.
