I'm super down today....

someone tell me a jokeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!

pleaseeeeeeeeeeee

There once was a fellow McSweeny
Who spilled some gin on his weenie
Just to be couth
He added vermouth
Then slipped his girlfriend a martini

There once was a fellow O'Doole
Who found little red spots on his tool
His Doctor a cynic
said Get out of me clinic,
And wipe off that lipstick you fool!


There once was a woman named Jill
Who swallowed an exploding pill
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And her tits in a tree in Brazil

(Jill! )

There once was a plumber from Lee
Who was plumbing his girl by the sea
She said Stop your plumbing,
There's somebody coming!
Said the plumber still plumbing... It's me!

hystericallllllllllllllll



so needed that (and the motorboat too lol)

damn, can i cheer you up in another way?! I don't want you to be down and sad but I am THE single worst joke teller. Val, I literally sat here for 5-10 mins racking my brain for you...and I got nothin!

I always ruin the punch line or go off track or just totally botch the joke!

How about a pic of slashy baby?

I'm here for you babe!!!!

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Posted by Byrne2Be

damn, can i cheer you up in another way?! I don't want you to be down and sad but I am THE single worst joke teller. Val, I literally sat here for 5-10 mins racking my brain for you...and I got nothin!

I always ruin the punch line or go off track or just totally botch the joke!

How about a pic of slashy baby?

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aawwwww You're so cute...send me a Slashy!

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Posted by Becca2010

There once was a fellow McSweeny
Who spilled some gin on his weenie
Just to be couth
He added vermouth
Then slipped his girlfriend a martini

There once was a fellow O'Doole
Who found little red spots on his tool
His Doctor a cynic
said Get out of me clinic,
And wipe off that lipstick you fool!


There once was a woman named Jill
Who swallowed an exploding pill
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And her tits in a tree in Brazil

(Jill! )

There once was a plumber from Lee
Who was plumbing his girl by the sea
She said Stop your plumbing,
There's somebody coming!
Said the plumber still plumbing... It's me!

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SOOOOO FUNNNNNNY! And I love the shoutout in the middle!

i know the Jill one a bit differently

brace yourselves (my dad taught me this)

nymphomaniac jill
tried a dynamite stick for a thrill
they found her vagina in north carolina
and bits of her tits in brazil

For some reason I thought of the scene from Sweetest Thing:

There once was a man from Bandoo. Who fell asleep in a canoe. He dreamed of Venus and played with his penis and woke up with a hand full of goo!

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Posted by MerSaysEh

i know the Jill one a bit differently

brace yourselves (my dad taught me this)

nymphomaniac jill
tried a dynamite stick for a thrill
they found her vagina in north carolina
and bits of her tits in brazil

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Jill's poor vag

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Posted by 2010BTB

For some reason I thought of the scene from Sweetest Thing:

There once was a man from Bandoo. Who fell asleep in a canoe. He dreamed of Venus and played with his penis and woke up with a hand full of goo!

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I am not funny and I don't know any jokes, but I think if we made out, you will feel better!!! Wanna make out???

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Posted by CarolAnn721

I am not funny and I don't know any jokes, but I think if we made out, you will feel better!!! Wanna make out???

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You wanna make out but you don't let me bear hug you!? offended!



hehe not really

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Posted by Byrne2Be

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Posted by CarolAnn721

I am not funny and I don't know any jokes, but I think if we made out, you will feel better!!! Wanna make out???

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You wanna make out but you don't let me bear hug you!? offended!



hehe not really

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You can bear hug me if you bite my bottom lip...

chin up mama

things can be worse

like takin it in the butttt. lol
did i mention i did that on saturday

heyyyyyyyyyy nowwwwwwwwwwww

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Posted by Rosalind_75

chin up mama

things can be worse

like takin it in the butttt. lol
did i mention i did that on saturday

heyyyyyyyyyy nowwwwwwwwwwww

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Your poor coolie!!!

what up, val? don't be blue.



doesn't he look like a cool 1 year old in this pic? kitten no more

The bride tells her husband, 'Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?'

'OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, 'Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped.'

Turning on his side, he smiles. 'Then we will have to re-imprison him.'

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, 'Honey, the prisoner is out again!'

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, 'Honey, the prisoner escaped again.'

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, 'Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!

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Posted by MrsSx2

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Posted by 2010BTB

For some reason I thought of the scene from Sweetest Thing:

There once was a man from Bandoo. Who fell asleep in a canoe. He dreamed of Venus and played with his penis and woke up with a hand full of goo!

---

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I just watched this movie last weekend - LOVE IT!!!