I know some replies will be that we strive for 50/50 and we make both decisions together after careful discussion, which I do see in my marriage as well, however I am noticing that my husband tends to defer to me ALOT.
I.E. we painted our living room and bedroom this weekend. My DH decided what colors he wanted, which was ok, because I do not like too much color, well after getting all of the color palets that he liked- I had to pick the final choice.
Also, even when we are asked to go out with people - he is like it is your call. Another example, we want another TV, I said he could pick it out, because I could care less as long as it is big. Well now he is like which one do you want.
Do you ladies see this happening with you?
Xelindrya
Posted:
Member since
Re: In your marriage- are you the decision maker?
Hrmm..
I am the decision maker. It's just the way I am. If he wants something his way he has to say it. Mostly I agree with what he likes or wants. Its no biggie.
Most of the time however its me who is the decision maker. I am the one who voices our complaints, makes arrangements, schedules our vacations and does all the 'dirty work'. He just goes with whatever I say.
When we want to eat out I have to suggest two or more places to him or he just goes with whatver I pick. We agree on so much thouogh its hard to say Im taking over. When he disagrees with something I pick he lets me know and I normally don't purchase or make big decisions without his input so it works out.
I don't mind. But that's just the Leo in me hehehe
shelzyp
Posted:
Member since
Re: In your marriage- are you the decision maker?
In building this house, I have come to realize that things that have to do with the home, he lets me make the decision, with other things, he makes the decisions.
I am the one the builder deals with to ask different questions to, and when he is asked he always says let me ask Michelle.
ChristineC68
Posted:
Member since
Re: In your marriage- are you the decision maker?
I do more of the micro-managing - like dinner choices, plans with friends, etc. DH makes most of the financial decisions because quite frankly, I suck at them. This excludes major purchases - those we decide together.
Sometimes I feel like he makes more big decisions, but I know because I usually don't have a strong enough opinion about something to go a different route.
But there are times when he just wears me down.
Sonicstef
Posted:
Member since
Re: In your marriage- are you the decision maker?
Its definitely a joint thing. Im very much a stubborn person so there is no way I could let someone make all the decisions for me. But he also has a stubborn streak so he couldnt just defer to me all the time either.
There are certain things that one of us has more say than another. Like home decor - we argue about all the time - but in the end I get what I want b/c i have more style than he does. When it comes to weekend activities, he is more in control since he drives and I dont.
Sage10.03
Posted:
Member since
Re: In your marriage- are you the decision maker?
Posted by Sonicstef
Its definitely a joint thing. Im very much a stubborn person so there is no way I could let someone make all the decisions for me. But he also has a stubborn streak so he couldnt just defer to me all the time either.
This is us exactly!!!!!
We are both stubborn about somethings and we have different opinions on a lot. It's tough sometimes getting to a compromise we both can live with....but we get there eventually!
BriarRose
Posted:
Member since
Re: In your marriage- are you the decision maker?
My Dh also tends to defer the final answer to me but in his case it to save him from having to listen to any nagging or complaing from me. Since I made the decision I cant B*itch about it!!
Wendy
Posted:
Member since
Re: In your marriage- are you the decision maker?
We talk about pretty much everything, but usually I make final decisions. Where money is concerned I make those decisions because I am a better money manager than DH. Big decisions are definitely joint though and if we don't agree we don't do it.
We have had to make a huge amount of instant decisions this past year with regard to remodeling our house and while we have discussed them, most were left up to me. I think DH does that so he doesn't have to take the blame from me if stuff doesn't work out. LOL
shamma
Posted:
Member since
Re: In your marriage- are you the decision maker?
It depends on the situation, somethings he leaves up to me to decide and other things we do together and other things its on him.
cooky11111
Posted:
Member since
Re: In your marriage- are you the decision maker?
Pretty much I am the decision maker. If he doesn't like something he will say and then we talk about it. Usually end up doing what I said in the first place...then DH will say...Glad I always listen to you, you were right!
curly2003
Posted:
Member since
Re: In your marriage- are you the decision maker?
I make 75% of the decisions....and I like it like that
JodiBabe
Posted:
Member since
Re: In your marriage- are you the decision maker?
We also talk about things but mostly(except for buying a new SUV! ) he leaves things to me . Mostly I think because he is very laid back & easy going and also I think because he wants me to be happy so he lets me have or do as I want.
VickiC
Posted:
Member since
Re: In your marriage- are you the decision maker?
It depends on what the situation is. In money matters, we discuss, but I generally make the decision. Usually if it's a social gathering or setting, he makes the decision. We usually discuss everything though before final decisions are made.
MrsTC
Posted:
Member since
Re: In your marriage- are you the decision maker?
I make more of the every day, dinner, entertaining, etc decisions and he makes most of the bigger decisions, electronics, finances etc....but always shares with me before doing anything final.
KarenK122
Posted:
Member since
Re: In your marriage- are you the decision maker?
Anything major is always discussed between us but I am definately the decision maker. I think its just because I have a bigger mouth
sonia
Posted:
Member since
Re: In your marriage- are you the decision maker?
it's pretty 50/50 .. everything little i have to make the final decision on (hanging out with people, which restaurant, etc.). and then we compromise on the big decisions.
Jenn P
Posted:
Member since
Re: In your marriage- are you the decision maker?
Definitely depends on the situation. I can't argue with the former mechanic about what car to buy, but he can't argue with the economics major about what to invest in.
septbride
Posted:
Member since
Re: In your marriage- are you the decision maker?
We do make some decisions together and others he just says whatever you want.
My husband really is not into the little details so if we do decide to go out to dinner with friends or whatever I usually take care of all the details. So basically just tell him where we are going and what's the dress code.
