Just got into fight w/ DH

---

Posted by Espo22

did he do something real bad? if not then maybe just put things aside for now so this way it doesnt ruin your holidays.

---

ITA, It is your first holiday together... maybe you could just tell him he is right (about whatever you are fighting about) and salvage the holiday?

sorry that you had an argument- sometimes things are said in the moment and he probably didnt mean what he said about your parents. Maybe just agree to disagree until Friday and then talk it out- dh and I did this- we had a disagreement last night and we just put it to the side now and are just going to enjoy our first christmas married

---

Posted by Soon2bMrsRP

ughh it's so annoying - ended up being about holiday shopping & gifts - he wants to get his parents these big extravagant gifts meanwhile I just bought my parents normal gifts - and i'm like i wish i would have known we were doing this - i would have liked to get my parents something nicer as well. And he's like well - you got stuff for your brother and aunt also so it's fine - i'm like yea but not my parents - ughh and then he said some really hurtful things about my parents - this sux!

---

well the truth is that your parents wont know what he got his parents, unless you are all celebrating together. SO dont feel you'll be in a situation where your parents see the gifts and then will feel like oh wow thats extravagant.

But next year maybe go shopping together for both set of parents so theres no surprises and you both agree, we go together to do this and buy gifts from both of us so we both will decide on that. Or at least talk about it first. Did he know beforehand what you got your parents?

maybe get your parents something extravagant when its their anniversary and you'll make up for it then. Dont let it get to you, your parents will love whatever you give them

It's just annoying the way he thinks - b/c i have a sibling and aunt and he doesn't - he can get his parents bigger gifts because he only has two people to get gifts for?? like it's absurd. and we did decide what gifts we were getting in advance - until he decided to just change it all up on me.
Times like this i just feel married life is so complicated.

---

Posted by Soon2bMrsRP

It's just annoying the way he thinks - b/c i have a sibling and aunt and he doesn't - he can get his parents bigger gifts because he only has two people to get gifts for?? like it's absurd. and we did decide what gifts we were getting in advance - until he decided to just change it all up on me.
Times like this i just feel married life is so complicated.

---

oh last minute he changed it, i understand. Well i think for him he just did it out of habit, i am not trying to excuse his behavior at all but maybe just so you can see he didnt do anything as competition or to be stupid but only what he has been used to. I dont have a big family and usually buy just for parents. DH has to buy his parents, brother, aunt, uncle and so on. I remember our first x-mas i bought everyone several gifts. Even for his mom I had already bought like 3 things and said i had to go buy one more thing, dh was like you already bought so many things, why do you need to get more? he was used to getting 1 or 2 things and thats it since he always had more ppl to get for. I on the other hand when i was able to i would get my mom an expensive gift for x-mas and maybe get more than one thing, I just did it out of habit ya know.

People only know what they know. Even dh he has this thing of telling ppl a few things he wants, and he will even tell them exactly what to get him, bc he wants those certain things. He doesnt care about being surprised or any of that as long as he gets what he wants. So he took me to the mall and said ok pick out your gift for me this was a big no no and i said no i dont want to pick out my gift. I want you to get me something, for you to take the time out of your day to surprise me. Its like you know me well enough so i think its fine to do this. I HATE picking out my gift, and was upset at first when dh said this. I let it go bc i realized its how he does things and how he likes things done for him, and he doesnt realize that HELLO guess what, not everybody is like you and not everybody wants to pick out their gifts. I'd rather get something maybe i didnt even think of as long as its something he got from the heart rather than going into a store and picking out a gift that yes maybe i would love to have.

Holidays do cause stress and anxiety for one reason or another.'

Im sure your parents wouldnt want you fighting with DH on Christmas over gifts...it is annoying he decided to get so lavish and not share this with you but in the scheme of things material gifts arent all the important...your parents know you both love them

Your not alone, I started a fight on christmas eve bc DH got home at 8 p.m. and I hate being ready and having to wait for him!!!

I hope all is well and your christmas turned out alright despite all. Just wanted to let you know your not alone. I do know how upsetting it is, being that it's the 1st christmas and all.