Maid of Honor Left My Wedding

Maid of Honor Left My Wedding

I was best friends with my maid of honor since we were kids. We are now both in our twenties. She has social anxiety, and no matter what she does, she thinks that she's correct even if she's wrong. Being her best friend, I've come to understand that she has many issues, and she is not wrapped too tight. At my wedding, she got into a fight with her boyfriend at the cocktail hour. Her boyfriend left, and she went running after him and never cam back. After I returned home from my honeymoon, she e-mailed me as if nothing was wrong! I e-mailed her back and told her that I never wanted to speak with her. Since then, she really never appologized. She told me that I should be more supportive of her problems. I haven't seen her since the wedding (October 2001). We speak every now an then via phone or e-mail. My husband does not know why I speak with her after what she did. What do you think? Please let me know your view on this.

Maid of Honor Left My Wedding

I think she should have at least told you what happened (so you can have some insight on what went wrong, and not have to jump the gun and draw your own conclusions). She definately should have told you she was leaving. and TOTALLY APOLOGIZED both before and after !! I would also feel awkward just never discussing it as if it never happened.
You do deserve to at least talk it through with her. Maybe you can write her a letter, or email or go out for coffee and tell her how you feel. If she is still being selfish saying you should understand her problems, then I think you might be well off taking DH's advice.

Good luck.

Maid of Honor Left My Wedding

In your posting you said that you have accepted and understand that your best friend is not wrapped too tight. If that is the case then you have to accept that at times her behavior may well be very strange and totally inappropriate. It appears that was the case at your wedding. While I agree that she certainly owes you both an explaination and an apology, perhaps you should consider it fortunate that she left your wedding. Who knows how she might have acted had she stayed? If she was that upset over the argument she may have created a scene or caused you and your husband some other embarrasment on your special day.

She has asked you to be more supportive of her problems and only you can decide whether or not you want to be there for her or if you want to allow the friendship to disappear. It would seem your friend has some serious issues and probably needs professional help. I would speak to her in person and ask her to explain what happened that day. Let her know that her behavior truly hurt you and that it has put a big dent in your friendship. Listen to what she has to say. Then once you have all the information you can make a decision regarding what you want to do. It doesn't seem fair to either of you to just let it drag out with no resolution. Good luck.

That's Horrible! (Long)

I try to be a forgiving person, and most of the time I succeed. However, I have to disagree with the other replies on this one. I think that was a horrible thing for your friend to do. Even if she did get into a fight with her boyfriend, and even if he did leave, she should NOT have run off after him. If she was truly your best friend, she should've stayed there, and it should have been INCONCEIVABLE to her to leave your wedding. She should just have believed that she could work it out with her boyfriend after the wedding, and she should've known that he would have to understand why she stayed at the wedding. I don't mean to fuel the fire now, but effectively, she chose him over you, by leaving - she cared more for him than for you on your most important day, and that's incredibly rude. I say this not to make you more upset, but to tell you that I agree with your hurt, and it was so wrong of her to leave. Of course, (and this is where I like to think I'm forgiving), I would talk to her once more to find out what happened to see if it was in any way justified for her to leave. However, nothing can excuse her non-apologizing behavior after the fact (unless she was too embarrassed to even bring it up).... good luck.

It`s not really a win/lose situation

Since you know of your friends issues, you can understand how her behavior may be irratic at times (especially her incredibly BAD timing at your wedding) but I understand how upset/disappointed you were with the fact that she took that opportunity to flake out. You`ll never win in this situation. You already said she expects YOU to be the supportive one (which it sounds you have been all along) yet she gives nothing in return. To me, the relationship sounds like high maintenence. I think as long as you don`t invest more of yourself (emotionally) into the relationship (keep things casual) you`ll feel better about the situation over time. How ridiculous people are to start arguments at weddings. I`ve seen this drama play out at soo many affairs and it`s such b.s. If the girl is aware of her problems, then it`s her OWN responsibility (as an adult) to take care of her condition (by medication, therapy, etc.). You can`t be her rock all of the time, especially when you can`t count on her support for even ONE day, a day you can`t re-capture or re-live. I`m sure her little problem with boyfriend was resolved shortly after the reception, no? Was it worth it? I would give some distance to this relationship in the future, if for nothing else, to avoid disappointment.

Time to distance yourself...

and m ake the relationshsip more casual.
This is a DIFFICULT thing to do...as I have had to do it with 2 different friends.
DO I miss them? Yes...but I do not miss the drama or the amount of WORK I had to do in the friendship.