Making time for single friends?

just wanted to give you some i totally understand how you feel. i would write more if dh wasn't behind me!

---

Posted by jeanyus27

just wanted to give you some i totally understand how you feel. i would write more if dh wasn't behind me!

---

haha thanks for the hugs!! I feel like such a baby cause im so upset. And i dont want DH to feel bad like its his fault cause its totally not- luckily hes not home.

Sorry you're feeling kind of torn. I think it's natural to have these feelings, especially when a lot of your friends are still single. I guess it may take time to make the transition.
ETA: I know it's not the same as a night out in the city, but maybe you can see if your friends want to get together for brunch or lunch so you can still spend some time together. Or maybe see if they want to do a couples night...drinks or dinner.

I know how you feel..my friends did the same thing to me! But to be honest..everyone always told me once you get married, you will lose track of your single friends..I find myself being around more with people like myself..who are either married, or in a serious relationship

I think its normal to have trouble finding a balance at first. Some people that are married have no problem going out every night. I know when I first got married I never wanted to leave the apartment! I was totally nesting and it was like an extended honeymoon - i loved it!

The important friends will come back to you, you will just have to make an effort. Like another poster mentioned - try to do something like a brunch or shopping trip - reach out.

Try not to lose them, it is very lonely having no friends. DH played cards last night and I basically cried the whole night and did laundry! LOL ( he doesnt know that tho)

I was the last of my friends to get married...and I will be honest to say that i'd get annoyed when some friends would only hang out with the girls when their DH's or BFs were busy or away...or even worse always drag their DH's with us to hang out on 'girl's nite' cause they didn't want to miss time with them,...so yes, sometimes we wouldn't even bother asking someone to hang out...for me I'd go insane hanging out with my DH all the time....i think it's important to have interests and time with friends apart from your DH...but that is jmo...i was also 'older' when i got married (34)..sorry you are feeling left out...i would try talking to your friends and saying that just because you are married doesn't mean you want to be excluded....but you also must be willing to make time for them.....HTH.

its hard--but you have to realize that chances are you might have said 'no' a bunch of times to your single friends that they probably figure you would rather spend time with your DH than them.

its tough i'm sure for you, cause you don't want to be left out. the best thing you can do if you want to keep your single friends, is to try and go out of your way to do stuff with them, not just wait for an invitation. now, friendships will take more work than before!

---

Posted by HamptonsBride

I was the last of my friends to get married...and I will be honest to say that i'd get annoyed when some friends would only hang out with the girls when their DH's or BFs were busy or away...or even worse always drag their DH's with us to hang out on 'girl's nite' cause they didn't want to miss time with them,...so yes, sometimes we wouldn't even bother asking someone to hang out...for me I'd go insane hanging out with my DH all the time....i think it's important to have interests and time with friends apart from your DH...but that is jmo...i was also 'older' when i got married (34)..sorry you are feeling left out...i would try talking to your friends and saying that just because you are married doesn't mean you want to be excluded....but you also must be willing to make time for them.....HTH.

---

ITA with this!!

although they dont come out and say it, i feel that some of my married friends dont want to 'leave' their DH's even for a girls night

i dont have any single friends... so my friends are either married or in a serious relationship and sadly, i can count on one finger how many friends i can call up and say 'hey lets hang out - i need some time with my girl(s)' and they are there in a heartbeat

i will always continue to have 'girls nights' and go out without my DH - why? b/c i feel that is extremely healthy for a marriage.... unfortunately, ppl who feel the same way as me are few and far in between

It's very frustrating when that happens. It's hard to want to spend your time with your hubby and still wanting to have time with single friends. Maybe you can suggest a get together with your friends. Make a date to go to dinner in the city with them or something. It will take some adjusting but I'm sure you will get it worked out.

---

Posted by TM2008

---

Posted by HamptonsBride

I was the last of my friends to get married...and I will be honest to say that i'd get annoyed when some friends would only hang out with the girls when their DH's or BFs were busy or away...or even worse always drag their DH's with us to hang out on 'girl's nite' cause they didn't want to miss time with them,...so yes, sometimes we wouldn't even bother asking someone to hang out...for me I'd go insane hanging out with my DH all the time....i think it's important to have interests and time with friends apart from your DH...but that is jmo...i was also 'older' when i got married (34)..sorry you are feeling left out...i would try talking to your friends and saying that just because you are married doesn't mean you want to be excluded....but you also must be willing to make time for them.....HTH.

---

ITA with this!!

although they dont come out and say it, i feel that some of my married friends dont want to 'leave' their DH's even for a girls night

i dont have any single friends... so my friends are either married or in a serious relationship and sadly, i can count on one finger how many friends i can call up and say 'hey lets hang out - i need some time with my girl(s)' and they are there in a heartbeat

i will always continue to have 'girls nights' and go out without my DH - why? b/c i feel that is extremely healthy for a marriage.... unfortunately, ppl who feel the same way as me are few and far in between

---

I 100 % agree with you. DH is skiing today and on his way home but I had some time to myself which was nice. Tomorrow I am getting together with a friend that I haven't seen in awhile. I think it definitely recharges your relationship-you can catch up over dinner or something.

---

Posted by TM2008

---

Posted by HamptonsBride

I was the last of my friends to get married...and I will be honest to say that i'd get annoyed when some friends would only hang out with the girls when their DH's or BFs were busy or away...or even worse always drag their DH's with us to hang out on 'girl's nite' cause they didn't want to miss time with them,...so yes, sometimes we wouldn't even bother asking someone to hang out...for me I'd go insane hanging out with my DH all the time....i think it's important to have interests and time with friends apart from your DH...but that is jmo...i was also 'older' when i got married (34)..sorry you are feeling left out...i would try talking to your friends and saying that just because you are married doesn't mean you want to be excluded....but you also must be willing to make time for them.....HTH.

---

ITA with this!!

although they dont come out and say it, i feel that some of my married friends dont want to 'leave' their DH's even for a girls night

i dont have any single friends... so my friends are either married or in a serious relationship and sadly, i can count on one finger how many friends i can call up and say 'hey lets hang out - i need some time with my girl(s)' and they are there in a heartbeat

i will always continue to have 'girls nights' and go out without my DH - why? b/c i feel that is extremely healthy for a marriage.... unfortunately, ppl who feel the same way as me are few and far in between

---

ITA with both of you. Im always up for a girls night. LIke having drinks or dinner or something would be great. But , i feel like thats different then me going into the city by myself to go to a club at 11pm. I agree that i always want to have girls nites in my life, i think its a necessary balance. None of my married friends go anywhere either so i totally get what your saying.

---

Posted by CD516

ITA with both of you. Im always up for a girls night. LIke having drinks or dinner or something would be great. But , i feel like thats different then me going into the city by myself to go to a club at 11pm. I agree that i always want to have girls nites in my life, i think its a necessary balance. None of my married friends go anywhere either so i totally get what your saying.

---

im glad were on the same page

in the same note - i dont think there is anything wrong with going all out with girlfriends once in a while and going to a club or hanging out in the city till 3am... of course not EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND - but i'd say i get to do that about once every few months which i also love and dont think there is anything wrong with

---

Posted by TM2008

---

Posted by CD516

ITA with both of you. Im always up for a girls night. LIke having drinks or dinner or something would be great. But , i feel like thats different then me going into the city by myself to go to a club at 11pm. I agree that i always want to have girls nites in my life, i think its a necessary balance. None of my married friends go anywhere either so i totally get what your saying.

---

im glad were on the same page

in the same note - i dont think there is anything wrong with going all out with girlfriends once in a while and going to a club or hanging out in the city till 3am... of course not EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND - but i'd say i get to do that about once every few months which i also love and dont think there is anything wrong with

---

I do the same thing and I love it. I go out with my single friends who live in the city once a month and sleep over one of their apts afterwards and then do breakfast/shopping in the morning and then go home to DH. You need friends in your life to have a healthy balance.

Definitely make time for girls night out at least once a month. Im sure your friends miss you. Maybe you can plan the next night out and invite them all. I know how it feels to want to be home with DH. Its so comfy but once you get out and youre out drinking and partying it up, youll be happy you did. And then it give you time to MISS DH like crazy too. Missing him is always good.

My DH got back from skiing and said he missed me and that he's happy he married me.



He should go skiing every weekend.

---

Posted by Cutechef729

My DH got back from skiing and said he missed me and that he's happy he married me.



He should go skiing every weekend.

---

That is so sweet!

Most of my friends are still single, and it is a challenge. I was working evenings after I got married so it was very hard to do both. I love to go out to all kinds of places, but I can't go to singles events with them.
If you want to maintain those friendships, you may have to let hubby do his own thing once in a while when you go out. I do think people understand newlyweds get caught up in their own little world,