I'm sure there are others that have run into this problem. I just got an email from my new MIL and she signed it 'mom'. I have no intention of calling her 'mom'. I am much more comfortable calling her by her name.
There never was mention of calling her mom at all.
Am I best to ignore the refernace and continue calling her by her name and hope she gets the message?
Here's the update -
I addressed my reply to her email with her first andme and she replied using her first name. Confused?? She didn't sign 'mom' She may have been testing the water, and only time will tell what if this is permanent Thanks ladies
LisaT
Posted:
Member since
Re: MIL question
I avoid calling my MIL anything. Everyone else calls her mommy, and I refuse to. I'd be much happier calling her by her name but fear she'd be offended. I've only gotten one card addressed directly to me and I think it was signed 'angie, your mother in law'. Cards to both of us get signed 'mommy & poppy'
I guess I recommend you call her by her first name and see what happens. Let me know how that goes, so I can follow suit
what did you call her before you got married? She may just think its cute to write mom now and not really place any importance on you calling her that.
dubliner
Posted:
Member since
Re: MIL question
I have always called her by her first name, I hope this passes
LisaT
Posted:
Member since
Re: MIL question
ah, you've got it a bit easier - at least she's already used to you calling her that. Just continue and see if she says anything. I was using Mr & Mrs, which no longer flies.
NIHA
Posted:
Member since
Re: MIL question
My MIL told me to call her by her first name, before we were married. I still avoid calling her anything. When she signs cards to both of us, she usually writes 'Mom and Dad', but lately it's been 'Grandma and Grandpa'!
I don't think it's unreasonable to NOT call her mom if you don't want to. Signing her name as 'mom' is one thing, but you are not obligated to call her 'mom'.
Teri
Posted:
Member since
Re: MIL question
ahhh - the dreaded question! I refuse to call my ILs 'Mom' and 'Dad' too - I never really got that anyway, and I think it sounds silly when they're not you're real parents, but that's just my opinion! I know many ppl feel the opposite.
I use their first names when addressing them
edited to add: whenver cards are involved, they sign them mom and dad and I address them as the same - only b/c the card's from James too, and he wouldn't call his parents by their first names! LOL
IrishTracy
Posted:
Member since
Re: MIL question
I call John's mother by her name. I couldn't see calling her Mam. On cards that I write I will write Mam only because it is from the 2 of us.
I'd say just keep calling her by her name. If she says you can call me mom. Just say you know but you feel more comfortable calling her by her name. Maybe she was trying to be cute?
my parents want DH to call them 'mom and dad' if he feels comfortable...they even took him aside to discuss it...
DH will call my mom 'mom'...b/c he knows she likes it...my dad...he doesn't really call anything
as for me...I only have a MIL..and never really thought about what to call her, but she keeps calling me her 'daughter' (she didn't have any...and she doesn't like her other DIL)...so I have been calling her 'madre' it makes it easier and its not 'mom'
Stacey1403
Posted:
Member since
Re: MIL question
I had no problem calling the IL's Mom and Dad but, my hubby did with my parents so he calls them Momma *last name* and Pappa *last name* it's like a cute joke my BIL calls them the same thing
Mary
Posted:
Member since
Re: MIL question
I call my MIL by her first name and my FIL by Mr. So and so, because he has the same name as my husband. However, when they send us cards or anything together, they sign it 'Mom and Dad.' That doesn't bother me, but I could never call them 'mom and dad.' Two people already have that title!!
HeatherandNick
Posted:
Member since
Re: MIL question
I call my MIL by her first name
VickiC
Posted:
Member since
Re: MIL question
I'd say to continue calling her by her first name. If she says anything, just tell her you're more comfortable calling her by her first name. Everyone has their own preferances.
For us, we call each others parents Mom & Dad. I had been doing that for years anyway, and David just started after we got married. But my parents said to call them whatever he wanted - they didn't mind.
jennbaby
Posted:
Member since
Re: MIL question
I 'd say keep calling her by her first name.
I call my MIL by her first name & couldn'timagine saying Mom. Maybe if I didn't have a Mom I would?
michele31
Posted:
Member since
Re: MIL question
My MIL signs things Mom C all the time but I call her Ann and neither of us have ever had a problem. I am sure she was just being nice and wants you to feel a part of the family. Don't change what you call her.
LizD
Posted:
Member since
Re: MIL question
I call her by her first name. I had a mother, and maybe I am more sensitive to it because she has passed away, but I will not call anyone else Mom, in any way shape or form. My MIL does not have a problem with it at all.
Laura
Posted:
Member since
Re: MIL question
I think it really comes down to what you are comfortable with---before we were married I tried not to call them anything!!! and I never thought I would call anyone Dad since my Dad died when I was 14-- but then it became natural to just call them Mom & Dad--- and I know for my MIL it was a HUGE deal for her when i first did it--she couldn't have been happier- me I was on the fence and now it has become natural
Shamee
Posted:
Member since
Re: MIL question
You don't even want to know what colorful adjectives I have called my MIL!!
Samanthas Mom
Posted:
Member since
Re: MIL question
shamee! LMAO
I call mine her first name, I think it would bother my mother if I called her MOM and I have no desire too LOL
Just b/c she signed it mom, is okay, she might think of you as a daughter but you have a mom and can call her her first name IMO
jms0176
Posted:
Member since
Re: MIL question
my inlaws are Lorraine and Tony. I can't get myself to call them Mom and Dad. I don't even call my step mom 'mom'. My sil has been married 10 yrs and she can't call them mom and dad either.
