Monday Morning 'Pick me ups' for those of us stuck at work today 1*17*11
Well, this is very…interesting? Megalomaniacal? Artsy? Whatever it is, I like it, but it seems like a weird groom portrait. I’d like to know the inspiration. Also his groomsmen look like a cross between Walmart employees and boarding school prep boys in those outfits (sorry). Generally a cool picture though.
I guess we know who wears the pants in this relationship, amirite?! You can’t say they don’t look good, from the back at least. They’re making a statement, and it’s ridiculously chic.
The submitter says, “My friend’s wedding just happened to be on the same day as our local Zombie Walk. (Please note the bridal party being consumed in the background. Also, a Zombie Banana).” Um, both of those things are duly noted, Submitter! Thanks for sending this in — it’s awesome!
I know I’m supposed to discuss the fact that this cute couple is holding their pet pig at their wedding, which makes them even cuter, but I cannot stop staring at the weird bun on the bride’s head! She’s so pretty. Why the giant bun?! It looks like something a seamstress would stick needles into. On the plus side, I love that her pig’s ribbon collar is her “something blue.” That’s some cuteness.
It wouldn’t be Friday without a jumping post, now would it?! Thankfully, this jumping wedding picture has an additional element: a random photobomber! Who kind of looks like he has a diaper on his head but I think that’s just the light coming through the trees. Now I wish *every* jumping wedding picture had a photobomber. :( Sometimes it’s better not knowing what you’re missing.
DH watches this show, i'm always asking 'how many freaking 'friends' does this guy have'.. at least i'm not the only one:
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If you're on day 3 of your colonoscopy prep, don't assume that little pressure you feel is a harmless little miniscule fart. Also don't repeat that assumption an hour later. #LFMF
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Boys, remember when you must go use the bathroom late at night, turn on the lights first. Your sister that's asleep on the toilet will not appreciate the fact that warm yellow liquid is all over her and her brand new PJs. #LFMF
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If you see your boss sitting at his desk with his credit card in hand make sure he's NOT on speaker phone before loudly asking if he's ordering porn at work again. #LFMF
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When running full speed through the house naked so you can surprise your spouse in the bedroom, make sure when you turn the door knob, the door opens. #LFMF
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If it is cold enough outside that you can see your breath, people can also see your farts. #LFMF
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(301):
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
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(207):
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
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(617):
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
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(304):
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
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(541):
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
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(812):
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
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(732):
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
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(218):
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
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(703):
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was 'destined for broadway', yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
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(203):
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
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Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML
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Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered 'Are you asleep?' I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
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Today, I was told by my girlfriend that in the thralls of my drunken haze last night, I tried to French-kiss her mom. FML
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Today, I found out my dad has a folder full of baby pictures and things that I drew when I was younger, labeled 'S hit from when Annie was cute.' FML
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Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML
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Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
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Today, I found some nude vintage pictures in my house. I decided to beat my meat to them. Later I found out it was my grandma. FML
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the end...
