As you all know I am planning this wedding without my Beloved Mommy.... I know she is in my heart and always with me, but it still is very difficult. In fact living day to day I remember Mommy every single day and think about her all the time.
Luckily in discovering LIWeddings, I have also discovered many other 'Motherless Daughters' who share my sorrow and experiences.
Princess99 is also a Motherless Daughter. We have been talking in length about starting a group for Motherless Daughters to get together, talk about our experiences, give each other support, and cry on each other's shoulders. Maybe in doing so, we will help strengthen each other and also make some lifelong friends. We can talk about ways to remember our Mothers in our weddings, in our marraige, and even in the upbringing of our own children. Basically in everyday life, before and after marraige.
Our hope is that we can fill some of the emptiness we all feel, especially by being with others in our situation who understand and feel our pain.
Princess99 had once recommended to me a book called Motherless Daughters, that I bought for myself and since for many others. Since then she came up with the idea of a group and we've been discussing it and think it's a great idea.
If you do also, and want to be a part of our group, let us know. You can respond to this thread, FM either Princess99 or myself, and let us know your thoughts. Any thoughts and ideas for the group are welcome.
Liz and Sue
EDIT TO SAY: That I would also like to open this up to those who lost their Father or a Grandparent as well. If you feel you can benefit from this, please feel free to join. We are here for everyone
Liz, I think this is a great idea. You bought that book for my mom when my g-ma passed and my aunt has already read it and found it to be comforting. I don't think mom has read it yet I wish you all the best with this.
I wanted to add that I know exactly how you feel. I lost my mother 11 years ago, and even though time does make it easier to deal with, you never do get over losing your mother (no matter what age it is that you lost her). I have 4 sisters, and still at a lot of holidays, one or the other will start thinking about her and talking about her and we all start tearing up. I will have to see if I can find that book!
Im a motherless daughter but through the traditional way. My mother is alive (i think) but I have not seen her in years. With a few exceptions, I have not seen her since my parents divorced 16 years ago. I dont know if I count. I know the 'motherless daughters' book doesnt really apply to me.
Thank You all. I hope that everyone can benefit somehow
Stef: you definitely COUNT. If you have the feelings of loss and emptiness b/c she is absent, you are 100% welcome. Growing up w/o a parent no matter what the situation is hard. Please feel free to join
I dont really have feelings of loss per se...certainly nothing like if I had a good mother that I lost to a sudden death. That is much harder IMO. I guess my feelings were that if she abadoned us so easily, she wasnt a very good mother to begin with so no great loss.
As far as emptiness, I think that is only an issue at times like wedding planning and Christmas and stuff like that. More becuase I have friends who have amazing mothers who were so great and supportive and helpful and I dont really have that in my life. Now my life is back to 'normal' i dont feel that as much b/c its not something I need everyday. I dont plan on children anytime soon but Im sure those feelings will be 10 fold if I were - thats when I think an absence will be really sad.
Didnt mean to start a little woe is me post :D Just wanted to explain :D
Stef, you would count in this group, since it sounds like you don't have a mother to look to for guidance, advice and nurturing (even as an adults we need this). I think the bond between mothers and daughters is irreplacable.
Liz and Sue, You are incredible people! You're group is such a good idea. I lost my Grandmother this past December. It has been really REALLY difficult, but seeing my Mom distraught makes loosing Nana even harder to accept. My Mother and Father divorced when I was 3, and I haven't really seen him since. Nana was my other parent my entire life.
If you decide to meet, please let me know. (I think I'm going to buy that book for my Mom today) We will both miss her at the wedding.
As you all know I lost my mom just 10 days after Matt and I were married. while I thank god that she made it through all the planning and was there to see me walk down the isle I know I am struggling to deal with all of this and question everyday how I am going to get through so many things that are going to happen in my life without my mom. So count me in!
Liz, keep me in the loop, my g-ma was my 2nd mom. She raised me since birth and I still get moments of sadness and lots of questions. I think what I learn I can share with my aunt and my mom
Thank you so much everyone for your feedback, both Parentless, and Not. Thank you all for your support and help.
When I first posted this, I posted this on most boards so that the word could spread, so now that the word is out and everyone's seen the different threads (I hope) I am trying to combine all the different threads into one now........ Let's all try to keep it to the BHB board. here is the link. I will probably put the link to all of the different threads into the one on BHB.
Here is the BHB link. Please continue to post here: Once again, thanks so much.......
