My first newlywed vent anyone elses DH want to wait on having kids??

Sorry to vent ladies i just cant keep it in anymore....anyone else hate waiting too??

I was really hopign to get preggo right away and i really thought DH would give in after the wedding. We have had alot of family issues lately , his dad was diagnosed with lung cancer a month ago his mom is in a nursing home nad not doing well its just been 1 thing after the other since we got home from our HM. But i am sick of waiting. He knows how bad i want this and knows it upsets me but he keeps saying things are too crazy right now DH and I are 12 years apart ( he will be 40 in feb) in my head between his age and the fact that his parents are not doing well i would think he would WANT to get preggo now so maybe his parents can see their babys first baby?!( Steve is the youngest of 4) The other hard part is the fact that my 1 friend is due in Oct and my BFF has been trying for months on her second baby. All this babyness going on is making my heart break as happy as i am for them it hurts me alot.
I think its also the fact that i was the first to be dating my DH and last to get married and now im the last to be preggo i dunno sorry if this sounds selfish and juvinile but it hurts alot

Thanks for listening ladies

I am sorry you feel this way We are in the same situation only opposite

---

Posted by gemmifer

I am sorry you feel this way We are in the same situation only opposite

---

Thanks i feel ebtter that i let it out i just needed to get it out i dont want to say it to my friends because this is their happy time ya know?

is your DH upset that you want to wait?

Hang in there. I am in the same boat. My DH and I discussed trying to get pregnant right away and on our honeymoon he said he wants to wait a year and travel. I am sooo upset about this, but I am trying not to let it hurt our relationship.

I am here if you need to talk more. Just FH me.

Christina

---

Posted by DCW 2008

Hang in there. I am in the same boat. My DH and I discussed trying to get pregnant right away and on our honeymoon he said he wants to wait a year and travel. I am sooo upset about this, but I am trying not to let it hurt our relationship.

I am here if you need to talk more. Just FH me.

Christinan

---

Thanks

---

Posted by angl2001

---

Posted by gemmifer

I am sorry you feel this way We are in the same situation only opposite

---

Thanks i feel ebtter that i let it out i just needed to get it out i don't want to say it to my friends because this is their happy time ya know?

is your DH upset that you want to wait?

---

Yes he is but he is dealing. He is about your DH's age. I told him we would have the convo after our 1yr ann. P.S - We will not be able to even consider it b/ I am about to take pills that I CANNOT conceive on b/c of birth defects

I want a child but at the same time the more he harasses me or pesters me as well as others -family, friends..etc. the more I get and than that makes me resent the idea of it.

---

Posted by gemmifer

I am sorry you feel this way We are in the same situation only opposite

---

same here...

I definitely hear where you are coming from ~ we are waiting just because ~ not really any good reason.

But I think that you should really try to hold back on how you feel, your DH has a lot going on and Im sure the reason he wants to wait is so that he can give all his time to you and the family you will build together and with the things going on he really cant. His mind is a jumble. I definitely can understand why you are upset ~ but at least he isnt telling he to wait for no reason.

---

Posted by PegaLega

I definitely hear where you are coming from ~ we are waiting just because ~ not really any good reason.

But I think that you should really try to hold back on how you feel, your DH has a lot going on and Im sure the reason he wants to wait is so that he can give all his time to you and the family you will build together and with the things going on he really cant. His mind is a jumble. I definitely can understand why you are upset ~ but at least he isnt telling he to wait for no reason.

---

I agree with peg--i know you are just DYING to have a baby--but if your DH's head and heart are not in it--it won't be good for you. the last thing he needs right now is to feel pressure from you on top of everything going on with his family. you have to step back and realize that you wanting a baby and making him feel bad about it--is just increasing the stress level he is already under.

give him some time---he probably just needs to not feel like the world is comign down on him--and dealing with parents that are elderly and sick is a BIG deal.

and don't worry about your friends being pregnant and everything---its not a race. when the both of you are ready--it will happen

You just got married so dont feel pressure from those around you about having a baby already.

I think my dh has a bit more baby fever than i do. I mean i look forward to the day i will have a baby but i really do want to wait a little bit. Luckily he realizes that we should get alot of other things in order before even trying so he is not really pushing this, but he has expressed having one when he is about 30 years old, which is in a few months, not sure how serious he was but i guess ill just wait and see how he feels once he turns 30

I know its hard when two people are not on the same page especially with something so important. But it will be better for the two of you when you both decide you want this. Otherwise the other person might feel a little resentment for feeling a bit pressured into it.

hey sweety -

i'm very, VERY sorry that you are upset about this heather....i heard through the grapevine that it was happening and i have been wondering how you were doing...

here's my thought...

have you spoken to him about it - like, sat down and explained that the whole, 'road to conception' is not a quick & easy path? It's not, wham, bam, i'm pregnant. It's more like, wham bam, test, no, wham, bam, test, no...

Dave wanted to wait until August to try and once I sat down and explained to him my concerns about his age, my age, my health, and all the other TTC knowledge i've learned, he did change his mind. He said he had no idea about any of the things I told him and he also said that seeing me so passionately explain things made him feel much 'better' about the whole thing.

We are now on month 4, going into month 5 of trying. There were a LOT of things about TTC that neither of us had any ideas about. The average couple takes 6-9 months to conceive - ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I thought it would be like 2 months of trying and here we are with a baby carriage.. I'm sorry - a woman is only fertile for MAYBE 6 days a month?? There's no guarantee that just because you get your period, you're ovulating??? SERIOUSLY?

Dave is now so into the TTC thing that he asks what my temp is every morning and when it goes up - he always says, 'hmmm...higher than yesterday'... I told him just today how much it means to me that he pays attention to that....

I'm sorry this got so long so quickly...please, FM me, email or call me if you need to!

---

Posted by Espo22

You just got married so dont feel pressure from those around you about having a baby already.

I think my dh has a bit more baby fever than i do. I mean i look forward to the day i will have a baby but i really do want to wait a little bit. Luckily he realizes that we should get alot of other things in order before even trying so he is not really pushing this, but he has expressed having one when he is about 30 years old, which is in a few months, not sure how serious he was but i guess ill just wait and see how he feels once he turns 30

I know its hard when two people are not on the same page especially with something so important. But it will be better for the two of you when you both decide you want this. Otherwise the other person might feel a little resentment for feeling a bit pressured into it.

---

yeah we just got married but we have been together over 8 years so i dont think that really matters lol with all the running around his father is making us do it no different than before the weddign anyway we dont even feel married.....its still like we are dating we just get to sleep in the same bed now lol

like i said its not because they are all preggo or have a babay that i want one...if i had my way i would have been preggo BEFORE the wedding its just sad to see...........i guess you really cant understand unless you are in someones shoes. I have posted here trying not to sound like an insensitive biotch lol i guess its kinda hard to do that when you type lol

---

Posted by davenjess

hey sweety -

i'm very, VERY sorry that you are upset about this heather....i heard through the grapevine that it was happening and i have been wondering how you were doing...

here's my thought...

have you spoken to him about it - like, sat down and explained that the whole, 'road to conception' is not a quick & easy path? It's not, wham, bam, i'm pregnant. It's more like, wham bam, test, no, wham, bam, test, no...

Dave wanted to wait until August to try and once I sat down and explained to him my concerns about his age, my age, my health, and all the other TTC knowledge i've learned, he did change his mind. He said he had no idea about any of the things I told him and he also said that seeing me so passionately explain things made him feel much 'better' about the whole thing.

We are now on month 4, going into month 5 of trying. There were a LOT of things about TTC that neither of us had any ideas about. The average couple takes 6-9 months to conceive - ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I thought it would be like 2 months of trying and here we are with a baby carriage.. I'm sorry - a woman is only fertile for MAYBE 6 days a month?? There's no guarantee that just because you get your period, you're ovulating??? SERIOUSLY?

Dave is now so into the TTC thing that he asks what my temp is every morning and when it goes up - he always says, 'hmmm...higher than yesterday'... I told him just today how much it means to me that he pays attention to that....

I'm sorry this got so long so quickly...please, FM me, email or call me if you need to!

---

Thanks hun but been there done that we talked for over an hour 1 night while i sat there ghysterical in tears......i guess we will see what happenes i really just posted this to see if anyone else was going thru what i am....you are lucky that you guys are trying right now good luck to you

---

Posted by angl2001

---

Posted by Espo22

You just got married so dont feel pressure from those around you about having a baby already.

I think my dh has a bit more baby fever than i do. I mean i look forward to the day i will have a baby but i really do want to wait a little bit. Luckily he realizes that we should get alot of other things in order before even trying so he is not really pushing this, but he has expressed having one when he is about 30 years old, which is in a few months, not sure how serious he was but i guess ill just wait and see how he feels once he turns 30

I know its hard when two people are not on the same page especially with something so important. But it will be better for the two of you when you both decide you want this. Otherwise the other person might feel a little resentment for feeling a bit pressured into it.

---

yeah we just got married but we have been together over 8 years so i dont think that really matters lol with all the running around his father is making us do it no different than before the weddign anyway we dont even feel married.....its still like we are dating we just get to sleep in the same bed now lol

like i said its not because they are all preggo or have a babay that i want one...if i had my way i would have been preggo BEFORE the wedding its just sad to see...........i guess you really cant understand unless you are in someones shoes. I have posted here trying not to sound like an insensitive biotch lol i guess its kinda hard to do that when you type lol

---

read your above post too. Sorry didnt mean it to sound like thats the reason you want to get preggo. Just that i know it must be hard when you want to have a baby and everyone else around you is having one. And i dont think you sound insensitive at all

I would really sit down with him and tell him all the things you just said in this post. You have had to change plans in your life for him before such as the wedding date and helping his family. Express to him how much this means to you and how much you would love for him to see things from your point of view and to want the same things. Maybe with everything going on he is having a hard time thinking about this, but maybe talking about it with him will give him a different perspective, maybe seeing how much you want this will get him excited for it. Also, maybe he is scared about having a kid and if he talks about his fear and you talking to him and assuring him might help. Just suggesthing this bc my dh has a habit of being afraid of any major changes, he keeps it in bc he is afraid to express it, then he'll finally tell me what he is afraid of and once we talk about it he realizes that his fears are very normal and you can show him why he doesnt have to be afraid. Not sure if this is the problem of course, but you never know.

Good luck

Thanks Denise...we have talked about already it hopefully it will happen soon enoough! thigns are starting to wind down a little around here so many ill try again in a few weeks

---

Posted by angl2001

---

Posted by davenjess

hey sweety -

i'm very, VERY sorry that you are upset about this heather....i heard through the grapevine that it was happening and i have been wondering how you were doing...

here's my thought...

have you spoken to him about it - like, sat down and explained that the whole, 'road to conception' is not a quick & easy path? It's not, wham, bam, i'm pregnant. It's more like, wham bam, test, no, wham, bam, test, no...

Dave wanted to wait until August to try and once I sat down and explained to him my concerns about his age, my age, my health, and all the other TTC knowledge i've learned, he did change his mind. He said he had no idea about any of the things I told him and he also said that seeing me so passionately explain things made him feel much 'better' about the whole thing.

We are now on month 4, going into month 5 of trying. There were a LOT of things about TTC that neither of us had any ideas about. The average couple takes 6-9 months to conceive - ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I thought it would be like 2 months of trying and here we are with a baby carriage.. I'm sorry - a woman is only fertile for MAYBE 6 days a month?? There's no guarantee that just because you get your period, you're ovulating??? SERIOUSLY?

Dave is now so into the TTC thing that he asks what my temp is every morning and when it goes up - he always says, 'hmmm...higher than yesterday'... I told him just today how much it means to me that he pays attention to that....

I'm sorry this got so long so quickly...please, FM me, email or call me if you need to!

---

Thanks hun but been there done that we talked for over an hour 1 night while i sat there ghysterical in tears......i guess we will see what happenes i really just posted this to see if anyone else was going thru what i am....you are lucky that you guys are trying right now good luck to you

---

just read this and saw that you already tried to sit down with him and express exactly how you feel. I am so sorry. I am not in your situation but could only imagine how i would feel. Seems like you are very passionate about this, i pray that he comes around. I wish i knew what to say that would help but don't know what would change your dh's mind, but hopefully he will soon.

Its not selfish to want a baby, its quite the opposite so stop feeling you are being selfish by feeling this way.

read above also that things are slowing winding down and hopefully now that you two can focus just on eachother he will be want to take this next step.