Before we got married my husband lived in an apartment on his own for nine years. I’ve known him for two and for the past 8 years he’s had this cat that he loves like a little sister and this may sound cruel but I am not fond of pets. However I couldn’t ask him to give up his because he has had it for so long and is attached to it immensely. She is basically a good cat and she actually doesn’t bother you and just sleeps all day long and she’s not jumping all over the furniture as I thought she would be because when she was living with him he never really disciplined her but now he knows he has some things to teach her and she is not allowed into certain rooms. She’s been pretty good about that and we do keep those doors closed when we are not home but if we are home and we have one of them open she sometimes attemps to come in and before she attemps to come in she looks at us and if she sees the don’t you dare look she does an about face and goes away. She doesn’t scratch or hiss at anyone like I said she will not bother you.
What is the problem then you might ask? Well at night she stands outside our bedroom door which is closed and cries for my husband. When they lived in the old apartment he had no doors to separate the rooms so everything was basically open and she was used to sleeping with him and now she is not allowed into any bedroom and it’s all new for her. But I can’t stand the crying because she does it throughout the night when we are trying to sleep. My husband gets up so many times to scold her and she goes away but then a little later she comes back and it is driving me crazy. I am not used to having pets if I had them growing up I’d be more understanding but I’m not fond of them so this is driving me nuts. I wake up pissed off and taking it out on my husband. He really is trying to discipline her, he does yell at her and scolds her but she keeps doing it. This has been going on for weeks. I thought she would be used to this new arrangement and sometimes I get so angry at my husband because of the way he spoiled her…He always jokes and says that this is good practice for when we have a baby and it cries during the night. A baby is different, it doesn’t get out of it’s crib and stand in front of your door. I’ll make the sacrifice for a baby but not for a pet…I’m just not fond of them.
Can anyone suggest anything??? I probably sound like a meanie
Diane
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Re: My Husband's Cat keeps us up at night.....
I hear ya, my kitty meows all night. It used to be because he wanted to go out, so we let him out, then he would jump on the air conditioner when he wants to come in. Our master bed is on the first floor. Now that we cant let him out, he started back up. But is getting better. I hate when he lays in between my legs
jenny11.9
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Re: My Husband's Cat keeps us up at night.....
Cats are tough...I have two that are 10 and 12. I have to say, the water gun thing isn't going to work. Very little, if anything, can come between a cat and her best friend (your hubby!). She misses him. They are very smart that way. Disciplining her will get you nowhere fast. Ignoring her could work. My suggestion is to let her in , and when she jumps up, pick her up gently and put her on the floor. Combine this with a treat of some kind...a little piece of chicken, bologna, etc..and I think you might change her ways!. Get her a little bed...they LOVE them and continue to place her nicely in there. Good luck!
KarenG
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Re: My Husband's Cat keeps us up at night.....
I've used the water bottle on my cat since she was a kitten. After a few squirts, she learned and now all i have to do is show her the bottle and she stops her bad kitty behavior. She is now 6 years old and it still holds true (although I hardly ever use it anymore)
**Its important that you only squirt her when she is doing something wrong....use it to condition her behavior or else she'll be confused and you will not get results. Eventually you won't have to get her wet anymore (which is really horrible. they get so upset afterwards).
I must say that I feel very badly for your cat and want to give her a big ol hug! She has been shut out and she doesn't know why. I would be sure to shower her with love, treats and a few special toys to reinforce her good behavior as she starts to get used to the routine and just to let her know that she is still very loved!
bedda26
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Re: My Husband's Cat keeps us up at night.....
I want to thank you all for your support and I have been feeling a lot better since sharing my story with all of you and knowing that I am not alone, and that you all feel my pain. You guys are the best and I thank you for sharing your stories as well.
I thank God that my husband doesn't have the 'just deal with it attitude' it would have been more difficult for me but his support makes me love him even more. Cira I wonder what else our Rob's have in common.
These past few nights have not been that bad actually. And my husband has rewarded her with little treats. So let's see what some time does. This morning we had the bedroom door open and we were watching the news and she is at the doorway and attempts to come in as soon as my husband said 'excuse me Lucy' (that's her name) she did a quick about face and walked away. I think the older the cat the harder it is to train or discipline you have to do it when they are little kittens just like humans do with little kids. They have to learn from when they are little what is right and wrong.
michele31
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Re: My Husband's Cat keeps us up at night.....
But why are you shutting her out soooo much. I mean, if you are watching the news she cannot come in and cuddle for a bit? I guess I feel bad for the cat because she hasn't done anything wrong and she is being punished for wanting to even walk into the room. I guess I am thinking of my cat and I cannot imagine allowing anyone to her feel so alone and left out. Sorry, but maybe if you just open up a bit towards her, both of you would learn to love one other.
bedda26
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Re: My Husband's Cat keeps us up at night.....
I don't want her to shed all over the bedroom furniture. It's expensive furniture....Those that love Cats and those who don't will always have different views. And I'm not going to go into details but she has her moments too where she gets spiteful with me.
However my husband has been giving her medicine to control the shedding which he says is not so bad now. But animals are still animals to me and they will always shed whether it's a lot or a little I still dont want that stuff on my new expensive furniture.
bedda26
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Re: My Husband's Cat keeps us up at night.....
It's nothing against her I just don't like all animals. I'm not crazy about them. My aunt has a dog that annoys the **** out of me everytime we go there.
michele31
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Re: My Husband's Cat keeps us up at night.....
I don't think this is about being an animal lover or not really. My only point is that the cat didn't do anything really. I mean, I can understand why she would get spiteful- don't you? All I am saying is that if you give a bit you might find that she is not so bad and can give you love. I just don't think using a water gun on her at her age is super fair. I mean, you DH has allowed her to sleep on the bed for years. That is not an easy habit to break. So maybe a bit of patience is needed. Does that make any sense?
bedda26
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Re: My Husband's Cat keeps us up at night.....
Yes I guess it does but i'm still not allowing her into the bedroom but now that we have our living room furniture and start hanging out there she can sit with us in that room that way she can be with company before we go into our room. She's not allowed on the couches (again i dont want her to shed on it) she just sits in this little area by the living room just to be in our presence and I dont have a problem with that. Everything is new to all of us. There are a lot of things i have to adjust to as well.
michele31
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Re: My Husband's Cat keeps us up at night.....
You don't have to allow her in the bedroom if you give you enough attention and a cozy place of her own.
We got our cat a nice cat tower- it has a cubby hole, a shelve and a bed at the top. Maybe that would help her have a place of her own that she can relax on, and then sleep in. We put ours in front of the sliding glass doors so she has a nice sunny area, which cat's love.
Also, you can put a inexpensive throw blanket on the couch in one area and that will prevent her from shedding on the couch or doing anything to it.
Also, frequent brushings can help prevent her shedding and in the winter, short hair cats really don't shed much at all- but not sure if your cat is a long hair cat or not.
Just some suggestions to help both of you learn to live with each other.
bedda26
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Re: My Husband's Cat keeps us up at night.....
Ours is Long Haired and I appreciate your suggestions. I'll see what my husband wants to do. Maybe we can buy her some furniture of her own.
Claud2001
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Re: My Husband's Cat keeps us up at night.....
Giovanna, I feel for you....I like cats and dogs, but I don't think I'd ever want one living with me - mostly for the hygiene and shedding challenges. I can imagine that this is a difficult adjustment for you and the cat!
Just wanted to comment on something that was said earlier....it's no easier to make a dog change a behavior than it is a cat. Both animals develop habits and like humans, ANY habit is difficult to break.
bedda26
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Re: My Husband's Cat keeps us up at night.....
Very well put Claud and thanks for your support.
bedda26
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Re: My Husband's Cat keeps us up at night.....
I am happy to report that my husbands cat did not bother us at all last night! Not even to tell us that her dish was empty. She must have been in a very good mood...LOL
