Today, a woman I know (barely) from work wanted to know why I changed my last name. I really shouldn't have given her a reason other than, 'Because I wanted to,' but I told her that I wanted us to share the same name now that we are a family, and I never felt particularly drawn to my maiden name.
Well, she started blabbing on about the women's movement (which I'm too young to remember apparently), and how a lot of women fought hard so I wouldn't have to change my name. I told her I thought this is a personal, individual decision, and I would respect someone else's decision to keep their maiden name, so I would appreciate it if she would respect mine.
Curious to know if anyone has bugged you guys about this.
xjulietx
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Re: Name Change Challenges?
I have actually encountered the opposite. People can't understand why I hyphenated and my new SIL who couldn't wait to get rid of her maiden name, addresses everything tol me as Juliet Fxxxxxxxx instead of Juliet Rxxxxxxx-Fxxxxxxx
I think I may need to send some things to her with her maiden name to get the point across.
ckgmwedding
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Re: Name Change Challenges?
Other than the fact that EVERYONE in my school district knows me by my maidan name and I started my new job with everyone thinking that was it, it hasn't been too bad- just very confusing for everyone.
Danielle&Scott
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Re: Name Change Challenges?
Posted by xjulietx
I have actually encountered the opposite. People can't understand why I hyphenated and my new SIL who couldn't wait to get rid of her maiden name, addresses everything tol me as Juliet Fxxxxxxxx instead of Juliet Rxxxxxxx-Fxxxxxxx
I think I may need to send some things to her with her maiden name to get the point across.
I didn't change my name at all and people just assumed I did. I receive mail with my DH's last name all the time including wedding invitations. I've received checks with my married name and I just endorse it to myself.
cjik
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Re: Name Change Challenges?
By the way, I just reread my post, and I did not mean to insult anyone who is a feminist, or active in women's rights. What bothered me about the coworkers comment was not her view per se, but her approach. To me, this is an individual decision, and I didn't care for her insinuation that this was the 'wrong' decision.
Anyway, hope I didn't insult anyone out there.
ckgmwedding
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Re: Name Change Challenges?
I didn't see it as insulting so don't worry- I think its rude for anyone to instill their values onto you. And I am a firm believer in women's rights and did take my husband's name cause I like it more than mine!
AlwaysSnow
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Re: Name Change Challenges?
I didn't change my name at all and people just assumed I did. I receive mail with my DH's last name all the time including wedding invitations. I've received checks with my married name and I just endorse it to myself.
same here, I didn't change my name either and I've had people argue with me as to why not. DH's friends and even some of my girls think that I'm wrong, and the guys tell me that They 'wouldn't let [their] wife keep her last name' ***??? Its a very personal choice and one that only you can make...
jeanla4c
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Re: Name Change Challenges?
Posted by AlwaysSnow
I didn't change my name at all and people just assumed I did. I receive mail with my DH's last name all the time including wedding invitations. I've received checks with my married name and I just endorse it to myself.
same here, I didn't change my name either and I've had people argue with me as to why not. DH's friends and even some of my girls think that I'm wrong, and the guys tell me that They 'wouldn't let [their] wife keep her last name' ***??? Its a very personal choice and one that only you can make...
Yeah I have some guy friends like that too. I added DH's last name to mine w/o a hyphen but I want to use both and feel funny getting things with just the married name alone. After the wedding I did since people just assumed... I agree, very personal decision and no one should impose their values/reasons on anyone.
PrincessRose
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Re: Name Change Challenges?
I would inform that woman that the women's movement did not fight for your right to keep your name, but rather your right to keep your name if you chose to.
The Women's Liberation movement was about personal choice, equality, and freedom, not to install new rules that all women were expected to follow.
