I've always thought I would change my last name to that of my husband's but now that it's time for me to do it I'm having second thoughts. We've been married 3 months now and I'm taking tomorrow off from work to go to DMV to change my name. I feel like I'm losing a part of me. I've had my name for the last 30 years! I've considered hyphenating but I'm maiden name is so long adding another to it would be ridiculous. Is it just me?
I think this is a normal feeling-- you have to do what the 2 of you want and remember that in some guys minds there is no reason why you shouldnt --- there mothers did and grandmothers did, etc-- I have toyed with it but no I never would NOT change my name--we joke about hyphentating but like you my maiden name is 11 letters long and italian(hard to pronounce) a lot of people make it there middle name--just a thought
Laura
I wish I hadn't changed my name. I added his to mine, but no one uses my name any more.
If you're not sure, you can wait. Plus you can always change it at a later date.
How does your husband feel about you changing your name?
As I posted below - I didn't change my name and have no regrets! Changing your name doesn't make you married -
I don't know what we will do when we have children - I want them to take my name and my husband of course wants them to take his - b/c times haven't changed enough he will probably win.
I wish this wasn't true -
I will of course give them both names but I know they will wind up only using the one that is last -
Me not changing mine - has worked out - so far!
I am very proud of my name and am not going to give it up just b/c that's the tradition - tradition doesn't always make it right!
See my posting below. I changed my name at the DMV, and feel a great loss. I feel like I lost part of myself. I understand the 'need' to have a 'family' name, but I really hate this custom, and wish I hadn't given in to it. But, I promised him, and it's really important to him. But when I say my entire new name, I don't identify with it at all. And, I don't like being Mrs. Him. I can't help it, that's how I feel. I always thought I would change it, no problem. But, when it came time to do it, I have a problem, even though I did it already. It's unfair. I know you don't have to do it anymore, but I just thought I should. I don't know, but I completely understand how you feel !
Perhaps it is my advanced years, but I am just so surprised at the overwhelming amount of brides who feel like they are losing a part of themselves by taking their husband's last name. I am very proud and happy to use my husband's last name. He didn't care one way or the other, he said whatever makes me happy works for him, but I really enjoy being a Mrs. again. And in all honesty you will all be Mrs. too because, as you will find, it is simply easier for people to address you as Mr. & Mrs. and too complicated to explain to everyone who mistakenly calls you Mr. & Mrs. that while you are married you use different last names. For those of you planning children you will always be Mrs. whatever your child's last name is, because they look at the child's last name and use that for you too. I have been there and I know.
I guess I just wonder why there is such a sense of loss. I would think there would be a feeling of happiness that you have joined together as a family and cement that by using the same last name.
Please don't anyone take this post the wrong way. Whatever each of you decides is personal and right for you. Maybe I am just getting too old!! ARGHHH!!!
Wendy, I'm with you! Just reading a lot of these posts made me wonder if something is wrong with me...that I didn't feel any sense of loss when I changed my name. Not that I am not proud of my family history, etc etc., I just wanted to be one family with my husband - we are our own family now is the way I look at it. I definitely agree that everyone has the right to choose one way or the other and no one way is the right way. I am so proud of my husband and while he would have never pushed me one way or the other the decision to take his name was absolutely the right one for me! I encourage everyone to just do what feels most comfortable for them!!
I agree with you also. I went to the DMV the Friday after my Honeymoon. I was very excited to take my husbands last name. When you were younger did you always used to write your first name with your current boyfriend's last name just to see what it would look like….
I don’t think I lost my identity..I just became Mrs. …I don’t feel any different. I love finally having a last name that everyone can spell and prononce. Even if I know have a generic first and lasr name.
Jenn
I agree with you also. I went to the DMV the Friday after my Honeymoon. I was very excited to take my husbands last name. When you were younger did you always used to write your first name with your current boyfriend's last name just to see what it would look like….
I don't think I lost my identity..I just became Mrs. …I don't feel any different. I love finally having a last name that everyone can spell and pronounce. Even if I know have a generic first and last name.
Jenn
I had no problem with changing over to my hubby`s name at all either (I love it)
but I totally respect for the fact that there are others who may feel that way. In
this day & age, the good thing is that you can feel either way and it`s not
considered wrong to take on not take you husband`s last name. MSCJLK, I`m in the same situation with now having a last name that people can pronounce and spell. I told my hubby that was a requisite for the candidate who would fill the husband position. LOL
