Hey there. just wanted to know if anyone else feels like me or just to get opinions:
Even before we were married I knew I would be upset about changing my last name. I love my last name. Even all through grade school and high school, college, etc. I would use my last name only. its special for me.. why? no clue. but i just love it.
My hubby knew i didnt' want to change it. So I hyphened it on the license. Kind of a compromise. On our honeymoon Just to make him happy i signed everything with his last name. he did feel good about that..
Now.. i know he's a bit bothered because i have yet to officially change anything with his last name.. And at work.. i use my maden name. He says your a '---' now.. and you should use it.. i go no. I'm always (my LN).
Am I being unreasonable.??
HamptonsBride
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Re: Name Changed??
I don't understand why some men feel that you are any less of a wife if you don't take their name?? I kept my name & my Dh even agreed i should keep it for business reasons as i am an artist..(plus i like my name better than his..haha)...he never ever makes me feel bad about it...and like you people have called me by my last name forever...cause it's a great last name.
I don't think that you should make yourself unhappy just to please your Dh ...in the long run you will resent him...does he have any rational reasons why he is so set on this name thing?
rmsgirl
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Re: Name Changed??
I hypenated my name rather than change to DH's name alone. I guess it felt more like adding something to my life vs losing something from my life. I'm still adjusting and getting used to it, though. So far, I've changed my ss#. Still have to go to DMV and update work stuff. Still get the giggles when I get called by the new name. I think it just takes time.
PreshusSmurf
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Re: Name Changed??
I don't think you're being unreasonable, if its important to you, then its important that he finds a way to understand.
That being said, I was very about changing my name -- even though I was changing to a name that is mispronounced and misspelled about 99.9999% of the time.
bettybcafe
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Re: Name Changed??
Dang, why is he stressing it? Some women just prefer to keep their name, its the name we have had for many many years. I didnt change my last name (except on the license) and DH is not upset about it. I am sorry you are going through this and no, you are not being unreasonable. If you want to keep your name then there should be no problem with it.
Bride4Mike07
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Re: Name Changed??
I hyphenated mine although DH had a problem with that. He would prefer I just take his name completely. For me it was a matter of losing my identity. I didn't want to lose my name just because I'm married, so I just added his name. All my documents have his name in addition to my maiden name. At work, although my work documents and my letters home say both names, I have my students refer to me in my married name. Even my co-workers call me by my married name, although they know I've hyphenated. It's a matter of preference I guess.....
Summer07Bride
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Re: Name Changed??
I think it is fine you kept your last name. I kinda see it as an antiquated tradition. The main reason I switched mine was to make it easier when we have kids. I have students in my class who's mom and dad have different last names then them due to divorce and remarriages and I think it is just easier to change the name for that reason.
BoxOfRocks
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Re: Name Changed??
Nothing to add to what the previous posters said so well, but wanted to say that I empathize with you. Good luck!
