Need Advice

So i dont know if you remember me telling you guys about my friend who was dating a DB, and she called me up one morning because he attacked her and pushed her down!!

well she swore she was done with him, and was not going to talk to him again, was planning on taking a cop the apt to get her stuff.

well he wound up packing up all her stuff for her and bringing it to her house (i was mad because they were in contact calling and seeing each other from right after it happened) then she wouldnt change her phone number.
she was home for a while i do believe, but i really think she is seeing this guy again! i know they were pretty much in contact all the time after the incident, but now im pretty sure she is back at the apt.

im a pretty good investigator and i dont buy bull crap stories! i know her to well and i can tell when she lies to me.

she doesnt have a car, so when she was at home, she would come to work at 8:00 because her aunt would drive her, when she lived with him she came in at 8:30 cuz he would driver her and had to be at work at 9:00. this whole week she has been comeing in at 8:30 and giving me stupid excuses why she is late. one day she had a bag of clothes and i asked her if she was planning on changing clothes during the day and she said no, her friend wanted to borrow her sweat pants?? dont buy it at all!

im starting not to feel bad for her! and what happends when he gets mad and attackes her again!! i always try to be the supportive friend who listens, and give my opinion with out telling her she needs to do things, because i know that she would never tell me anything if i flat out said i didnt approve. but after that incident i basically told her i dont approve and im soo not letting her talk to this guy anymore! and now she is lying to me!
i dont know what to do!

i wanna ask her flat out like are you seeing him again? if i do that there is two things that will happen, she will either lie to me and say no, and continue giving me stupid stories to cover it up, or she will say yes, and i will tell her what an idiot she is and when he attacks her again and its worst this time what is she going to do, and then she will never tell me anything and be mad!

help!

coming from someone who has been in a few bad relationships....I dont think there is anything you can do. SHe has to make up he mind in her own time. And I know it stinks to sit by and watch but if you want to be a friend just be there for her when she finally does walk away.

As far as the stupid excuses...I would just ignore them. You know they are 'stories' and she is telling them because she is she knows everyone will be upset she went back.

I'll offer up my story and some advice since I had a friend in a similar situation....

My best friend from HS who WAS suppossed to be in my bridal party confided in another friend of mine that she was being beat by her bf- thrown down stairs, even put into the hospital with a complete bruised, bloody, broken face... (I had seen pics of this and she claimed she was in a car accident) So first off, I was mad at him of course and told her to get away from him, but then I was also mad at her for lying to me in the first place... She knows how critical I can be and feared the worst reaction from me...

The day of my shower, she was late getting to the restaurant and blamed it on a broken shoe that she had to travel back home to change... Come to find out, he was beating her all morning... And then she came to my shower coked up to hide it all...

Then at my bachelorette party, she was speaking to him all weekend long on the phone and even planned a trip together with him... I had a heart to heart with her and pretty much said 'wth are you doing... he can beat your *** again and leave you dead in another state' Needless to say, she literally ran away from em bc she didnt want to hear the truth.... Oh and not to mention, she met up with some random guy on my weekend who fed her coke addiction all weekeend long...

At that point, I said enough is enough.... you're doing nothing but harming yourself... staying in an abusive relationship, you have a serious drug problem (prob bc of the beatings), and Im sorry but until you get help, you are out of my life and out of my wedding...

We havent talked since... She choose that lifestyle over a friend who's been there for her since 9th grade... Sometimes you just have to let people like that be... They have to make their own mistakes bc nothing you say will make them change... That last phone call to her was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, but it had to be done....

hmm this is tough...sometimes there is just nothing u can do if u have tried and tried and its not worked

i would just let her be but call her every so often and just check in on her