Little background: Our wedding day was paid for by my parents and DH and I. His father and wife paid for our eparty. When the time came for them to pay for the RD, all of a sudden they backed out and said they couldn't afford it. Ok fine, we paid for it. Then the wedding comes and they don't give us a wedding present, they tell us they will pay for an appliance in our new kitchen. Well it ended up being a hassle so we just bought it ourselves and asked them to contribute in another way. So fast forward to this past weekend, they come to visit, well we need a new bbq so they buy us a $200 bbq as our wedding present. Well I was fine with this knowing that they are a little tight with money right now.....UNTIL FIL starts telling me they just bought a new laura ashley sofa and loveseat, remodeled the landscaping, put in an OUTDOOR shower and did some stone work. FIL has always been cheap, like when we go there I pay for groceries, beer, dinner, etc. and when they come to our house its not like the favor is returned. This weekend I spent hundreds of dollars on food and beer. I'm just getting frustrated that they always cry poverty yet they live in a beautiful house on the north fork across from the water and doing all these renovations but can't get us a nice wedding gift.
Am I being selfish? I'm just tired of spending so much money when we visit there and when they visit us and nothing is ever returned.
geegee827
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I don't think you're being selfish at all. I would just stop doing what you do when you go there.
T E R I
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I don't think your being selfish, when you go visit them let them foot the bill-its their house your the company, let them entertain you from now on. And only worry about paying when they cpme to your house
valthom426
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Yep, I agree. Just stop spending all that money on food and drink when you visit them. And ease up on when they visit you.
They are who they are, they will most likely not change even if you brought it to their attention and is it worth an argument?. If they have a problem with it, let them take it up with your husband.
gina409
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no i dont think ur being selfish at all!!!!!!
i mean if someone cant afford to give to a wedding thats fine..but first dont promise a gift or offer to pay if you cant and then go bragging about how you bought all this stuff
i would just not be as givibng as you have been..next time u go over dont bring anything and if they r coming over call them right before they eave and ask if they can pick up a few things
geegee827
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Posted by gina409
i would just not be as givibng as you have been..next time u go over dont bring anything and if they r coming over call them right before they eave and ask if they can pick up a few things
OOOH - Gina - I love that idea!
stinenandy2010
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Posted by geegee827
Posted by gina409
i would just not be as givibng as you have been..next time u go over dont bring anything and if they r coming over call them right before they eave and ask if they can pick up a few things
OOOH - Gina - I love that idea!
that is a great idea! i think i will try this next time and i'm definitely not buying anything when we go there now.
i was just always taught not to go to someones house empty handed, even if we go to a friends house for dinner or bbq, i always bring a bottle of wine or beer, something.....but they never bring or offer anything. they didn't even make the bed!
RitasEngaged
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Posted by T E R I
I don't think your being selfish, when you go visit them let them foot the bill-its their house your the company, let them entertain you from now on. And only worry about paying when they cpme to your house
ITA
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
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What does your DH think about all this??? Honestly, I'd be a b*tch next time and just not contribute towards anything and cry poverty right back at em...
stinenandy2010
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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz
What does your DH think about all this??? Honestly, I'd be a b*tch next time and just not contribute towards anything and cry poverty right back at em...
he thinks i'm spoiled b/c when we visit my parents they take us out to dinner and even when they come to visit they pay for everything, i feel bad that they do so but they know we don't make much money. my parents like to spoil their kids!
baba022
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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz
What does your DH think about all this??? Honestly, I'd be a b*tch next time and just not contribute towards anything and cry poverty right back at em...
I agree with this...just give them a taste of their own medicine...when you go there to visit, dont buy anything ... like just a little something but thats is...one of my bff's has this problem and she just stopped doing it... and thats how she nipped it in the butt!!!!
