Need to Comment (kinda long) after the baby shower

ok first of all this is just my opinion and i know people are all different. escp ladies who are pregnant, raging hormones and all BUT i need to vent a little over here:

As you all know I was throwing this small baby shower at my house this weekend & me and most of the girls were so excited ....yadda yadda yadda... we decorated my house --- soooo cuteee - we got the chair , balloons everything - i prepared the games - cake - i mean it was sooo cute... i did the whole bottle idea - put drinks in baby bottles, & the mom to be comes in (she didnt know anything) and most of us have this impression
she wasnt excited about the gifts, about the decorations, about the food, she wasnt grateful.

Honestly im sitting here and im wondering why did i even do this? And the gifts she got - were really nice -
I threw this baby shower bc i know she doesnt have her family here and doesnt have a lot of friends. Her friends that came were more excited about her baby shower than she was.

Some girls asked her oh were you surprised? and shes like well every pregnant girl has a baby shower - ummm welll not exactly - nobody threw a bridal shower for her before her wedding last year. & the best part, she was saying 'jokingly' oh are there more gifts hidden?




& yesterday DH and I drove and dropped off all the gifts at her apt bc they dont have a car & still no thank you no nothing.,
i mean dont get me wrong, i didnt do this for her to kiss the ground i walk on or anything. but it just kinda s|ucks that you put so much energy into something and someone is ungratfeul and unhappy.

now her DH is verry happy and so grateful that we did this but still I dont know what her issue is - maybe she was expecting more? I dunno.
Ok vent over
please dont quote - i will take it down

Is she normally like this - not showing emotion I mean? Cuz if she's not, just sounds like she was being ungrateful and, like you said, expecting 'more'...

HOWEVER, how much MORE was she expecting? For you to invite fake friends so she'd get more gifts? For you to rent out a fancy hall for 20 girls? I dunno, I always say that you should be SOOOO grateful for whatever you get because gifts and a part are not a given even though they are customary.

I feel so bad for you because I know you were trying to make this sooooo nice for her. Maybe she'll come around and say thank you and show it!!!

---

Posted by MrsQ-in2007

Is she normally like this - not showing emotion I mean? Cuz if she's not, just sounds like she was being ungrateful and, like you said, expecting 'more'...

HOWEVER, how much MORE was she expecting? For you to invite fake friends so she'd get more gifts? For you to rent out a fancy hall for 20 girls? I dunno, I always say that you should be SOOOO grateful for whatever you get because gifts and a part are not a given even though they are customary.

I feel so bad for you because I know you were trying to make this sooooo nice for her. Maybe she'll come around and say thank you and show it!!!

---

i mean shes not one of those omg kinda of girls you know? its weird bc i got the list of girls from her DH so its not like someone else could have been there that wasnt there. you know? my mom said that she just probably doesnt show emotion - but see whats weird is that shes never been to a baby shower or bridal shower so she doesnt even know what to expect,

WOW Gabbie that's SOOOOOO disappointing. And from another pregnant hormonal lady, let me ASSURE you, rudeness is not OK. You really put yourself out for this girl and she sounds like a big BRAT.

If its bugging you, maybe call her DH and just gently inquire, 'is [yourrudewife] ok? She seemed a little down, or disappointed, at her shower, blahblahblah'. He'll let you know whats up with her, but either way, you did a LOVELY thing and you should be SO PROUD of yourself for hosting your first shower, and by the sounds of it, you did a fantastic job.
You'l be part of lots of other showers in the future so the fun stuff you did for this one is not 'lost' - next time around you'll know exactly what you're doing!!

See at first I was going to defend her bc - since I have anxiety I know what it feels like to be overwhelmed in certain settings. I was VERY worried that I wouldn't be able to express my gratitude at my shower bc of this.

HOWEVER, reading on about the little comments - she seems VERY rude and ungrateful. Sounds like you threw an amazing shower and you should be proud of that even if she is being a snot.

wow. maybe she was just all bummed out her family wasn't there? or she was hurting b/c she expected someone else to organize the party (a family memeber that's really close?)

either way she should have at the very least said THANK YOU!!

---

Posted by HeatherRose

wow. maybe she was just all bummed out her family wasn't there? or she was hurting b/c she expected someone else to organize the party (a family memeber that's really close?)

either way she should have at the very least said THANK YOU!!

---

cant be - her mom & her whole family is in poland her her mother in law didnt even show up - bc shes not ''ämericanized''

or maybe she was expecting someone else to throw it. but when i spoke to her DH about 3 months ago - he's like nobody is planning anything like it, it would be great if you did it.
Ahhh I dunno

Wow that was really nice of you!

Not that this excuses rudeness, but maybe she was thinking of her family issues and not having them there. Still, it is too bad she wasn't more appreciative.

---

Posted by rmsgirl

Wow that was really nice of you!

Not that this excuses rudeness, but maybe she was thinking of her family issues and not having them there. Still, it is too bad she wasn't more appreciative.

---

Yeah I know thats the excuse im giving her (in my head)

---

Posted by ant n tilde

See at first I was going to defend her bc - since I have anxiety I know what it feels like to be overwhelmed in certain settings. I was VERY worried that I wouldn't be able to express my gratitude at my shower bc of this.

HOWEVER, reading on about the little comments - she seems VERY rude and ungrateful. Sounds like you threw an amazing shower and you should be proud of that even if she is being a snot.

---

Same here. I always try to do both sides but I know what a sweetheart you are hgabbie-easy going as anything so if you ere offended 99.9 percent the girl was being a PITB. Who knows what her motivations were. I know many people these days just arent grateful for the little kindnesses in life.

Don't take it personally. You did a nice thing because you're a good person and her lack of reaction doesn't change that.

Raging hormones or not......it's not THAT hard for her to let a 'Thank you' slip through her lips.

I think she fricken snotty and rude.

From another hormone raging preggo over here- that is UNACCEPTABLE AND DOWN RIGHT BITCHYY!!!!! I'm so sorry that you put in all that hard work to not even be acknowledged or appreciated is saddening!!

Hmmm i just got to thinking (and this is NOT excusing her brattiness AT ALL AT ALL)... but...

Most of our Irish relatives don't do baby showers EVER, in fact the whole custom makes them kind of freaked out.Its a cultural difference - they are superstitious about buying gifts for a baby who's not born yet, etc etc. and if they lived here they'd find it very weird to host/attend one or be the guest of honor.

Could the same thing be true for your Polish friends/relatives? Maybe she was just kind of 'weirded out' whereas we take this tradition for granted in the US?

Dont know just trying to find some 'rhyme or reason' to her weird response!!!

well we excused her MIL with that but she even said that she knew she was going to have a b shower bc everyone has one.

one of my gfs who i work with are talking about this all day and we're trying to figure out what her thing is.

---

Posted by gabbie83

or maybe she was expecting someone else to throw it. but when i spoke to her DH about 3 months ago - he's like nobody is planning anything like it, it would be great if you did it.
Ahhh I dunno

---

Ugh. Ghost of Christmas Future knockin' at my door. This whole thread has reminded me I have to write to friends's DH and 'remind' him that I've been waiting a month on the guest list for her shower.

Gab, if you REALLY want to know whats going on, you can totally approach her about it, its all in the WAY you say it to her.

Go up to her and be like...'are you okay ____ (insert her name)?? Ever since the shower I've been thinking and worried about you b/c you didnt seem really happy about it as I thought. Was there something I did wrong or something I could have done for you that I didnt? Im just asking because I know normally you woulda came up to me by now and been like thank you Gabbie and been happy or smiling during the day....but I noticed that didnt happen and Im just concerned. Is there anything you wanna talk about?? I want you to feel like I did a good job for you, cause I worked hard on it.'


That should do that trick.

---

Posted by AmorPeruano

Gab, if you REALLY want to know whats going on, you can totally approach her about it, its all in the WAY you say it to her.

Go up to her and be like...'are you okay ____ (insert her name)?? Ever since the shower I've been thinking and worried about you b/c you didnt seem really happy about it as I thought. Was there something I did wrong or something I could have done for you that I didnt? Im just asking because I know normally you woulda came up to me by now and been like thank you Gabbie and been happy or smiling during the day....but I noticed that didnt happen and Im just concerned. Is there anything you wanna talk about?? I want you to feel like I did a good job for you, cause I worked hard on it.'


That should do that trick.

---

aww thanks donna

---

Posted by AmorPeruano

Gab, if you REALLY want to know whats going on, you can totally approach her about it, its all in the WAY you say it to her.

Go up to her and be like...'are you okay ____ (insert her name)?? Ever since the shower I've been thinking and worried about you b/c you didnt seem really happy about it as I thought. Was there something I did wrong or something I could have done for you that I didnt? Im just asking because I know normally you woulda came up to me by now and been like thank you Gabbie and been happy or smiling during the day....but I noticed that didnt happen and Im just concerned. Is there anything you wanna talk about?? I want you to feel like I did a good job for you, cause I worked hard on it.'


That should do that trick.

---

great advice and agree 100%...you can approach but not in a confrontation way just in a concerned friendly way.

Sounds like you did an amazing job, and put alot of thought into it. She should be happy to have such a great friend. So stop blaming yourself and thinking you didnt do something and maybe thats why.

Talking to her you'll probably found out the reason she acted this way. Who knows maybe she is dealing with something personal that has nothing to do with the shower. Doesn't excuse her behavior, at least a thank you would be nice. But maybe she is down about something and not herself