How involved do you get with each other's families and family issues?
For me, DH will voice his opinion on somethings TO ME, but due to a tangled web that my parents have created he usually does not stick his nose into the problems between my parents and their SO.
I try not to get involved with his family dynamics like that either because I know in th end even when his sisters fight in the end, the three of them are blood and I am not.
Sonicstef
Posted:
Member since
Re: Newlywed question for March 24th
My husbands parents only speak italian...so its really easy for me to voice my opinion to my husband but keep a secret between us.
Anniegrl
Posted:
Member since
Re: Newlywed question for March 24th
Posted by Sonicstef
My husbands parents only speak italian...so its really easy for me to voice my opinion to my husband but keep a secret between us.
Wow - really? They don't speak English???
TracyInQueens
Posted:
Member since
Re: Newlywed question for March 24th
Not very. There is one some dynamic in my family that DH could criticize, but he does not. His immediate family is close and gets along well. And so does mine, overall.
Ironically, we have some similar patterns of things in our extended families, so we do commiserate a lot and compare things. But since it's not immediate family, there's enough emotional distance so that it does not erupt.
We're also similar in our relationships with our parents- the degree of closeness between me and my parents is similar to that of him and his parents, fortunately.
suven
Posted:
Member since
.
.
palebride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Newlywed question for March 24th
We're pretty involved in each other's families.....it's like each of has become a member of the other's family
Xelindrya
Posted:
Member since
Re: Newlywed question for March 24th
Great Question.
This just happened to become an ‘item’ with us recently. Normally it’s me going on about my family. I always thought his was fairly quiet by comparison (but not without some bumps). Now it’s his family who in the spotlight. The thing is, Jim thinks it’s a good thing that we’ve had my own family drama first and often. He’s now prepared to just ‘let it go’ with some of his drama.
He never says a word to my father or brother in any negative way. He agrees with both of them on the main drama in my family. He leans more towards my brother on some other issues, but never really gets too tangled.
I always feel like I’m the ‘supportive’ one. Jim doesn’t stand up to his family much, so sometimes I need to coax a few issues. Generally speaking, I stayed out of things until we were married. Now I’m a tad more vocal but always with respect that it’s really still their family unit still.
Oddly enough, it’s expected of me to sort of boss Jim around and still be ‘submissive’ to him. Chinese thing?? I dunno. His mom is so cool, though. She thinks it’s great that we act like a unit and support each other and defend each other equally. Sometimes she makes me uncomfortable and I just say “I need to check with Jim” and she immediately backs down. Which I greatly appreciate.
Hope this groove lasts.
MrsERod
Posted:
Member since
Re: Newlywed question for March 24th
Posted by palebride
We're pretty involved in each other's families.....it's like each of has become a member of the other's family
same here
RedHead
Posted:
Member since
Re: Newlywed question for March 24th
VERY little...i handle my issues he handles his
woozshle
Posted:
Member since
Re: Newlywed question for March 24th
I would never want my husband to get involved with my side's squabbles and vice versa. If someone ever responded to my husband in a negative way --- ITS ON!!! so I hope he'll always keep his mouth shut and just complain to me.
FeliciaDA
Posted:
Member since
Re: Newlywed question for March 24th
We each deal with our own families our own way...
I might suggest or express things to DH about his family, and vice versa.. but generally speaking , we both let the other person handle issues on their own WITH their own parents and siblings..
Honestly both families are relatively 'drama-free' so its not that tough of a deal (thank GOD)
DrmnBlnd
Posted:
Member since
Re: Newlywed question for March 24th
Not much at all. We'll both vent to each to other about things, but never say anything to them. Thankfully, there hasn't been much to vent about yet.
VickiC
Posted:
Member since
Re: Newlywed question for March 24th
Thankfully, there has not been much family drama. We tend to stick to our own family though.
There was an incident about a year or so ago and I voiced my opinion pretty loudly because I was pretty offended. DH agreed with me so there was no argument between us, and he set his family straight.
I do have to say though that we have a pretty open relationship with all parents so if something bothered us it would be ok to talk about all together.
dm24angel
Posted:
Member since
Re: Newlywed question for March 24th
I let him make the ultimate decisions with his family as far as involvement, but I do make my opinion known, depends on how much it involves me or not, same with him and my family.
JodiBabe
Posted:
Member since
Re: Newlywed question for March 24th
My DH is very quiet & doesnt get too involved with my famile where I however get VERY involved with his family! I ADORE my in-laws and check in with them often to see how they are.
lilmrs
Posted:
Member since
Re: Newlywed question for March 24th
Posted by FeliciaDA
We each deal with our own families our own way...
I might suggest or express things to DH about his family, and vice versa.. but generally speaking , we both let the other person handle issues on their own WITH their own parents and siblings..
Honestly both families are relatively 'drama-free' so its not that tough of a deal (thank GOD)
