No Thank you sent from a friend...

WithThisRing Posted: Jan 02, 2003 10:44 AM

No Thank you sent from a friend...

I am not married yet

NovemberSue Posted: Jan 02, 2003 10:47 AM

Re: No Thank you sent from a friend...

I sent out the bridal shower thank-you's about a week later and the wedding thank-you's about a month and a half later (I had to wait to get them from the photographer). I think your friend is being rude by not sending them out. You have to send them out as soon as you can because you want to let people know how you really appreciate everything they did.

Sonicstef Posted: Jan 02, 2003 11:03 AM

Re: No Thank you sent from a friend...

Your friend is definitely being rude. If she is too busy to write out a short card, then she should not accept gifts. However, I also think its rude to ask her for a Thank you card. Its normal to expect it but its really not your place to ask for one in my opinion.

I sent out my shower thank yous within 2-3 weeks of the shower. Im still working on my wedding thank yous 3 months later but that is a much larger task so I think more time is alloted.

I have a friend whos wedding was in July and I have not yet recieved a thank you card but I know she has just been very busy and definitely plans on sending them out so it doesnt bother me.

Niecey Posted: Jan 02, 2003 11:06 AM

Re: No Thank you sent from a friend...

I think it very rude that people do not send thank you's! I sent both my shower and e-party thank you's within a month (prob 2-3 weeks) of the affair. As far as wedding thank yous, I believe I read the etiquette is within three months (if you are sending the pictures ones - if you don't I think you should sen dthem withina month). My wedding was the end of October but just got my pictures 2 weekends ago. With the holidays, I had no time to write them. I plan on doing them over the next couple weeks! So far I have 20 done (out of about 130 min.)!

PS My brother got married in August and I just got his last week! I can't believe how long they took. I know they still haven't sent them to everyone yet but at least they do plan on sending them, I guess.

Claud2001 Posted: Jan 02, 2003 11:10 AM

Re: No Thank you sent from a friend...

Melissa, you are right about your friend being rude - there is no excuse for her behavior! But, there is also nothing you can do about it...unless you want to send yourself a thank you card, it sounds like you can hold your breath on that one!

Regarding your own thank you's - my advice is that you send your TY's promptly. When I received engagement gifts, I sent a thank you immediately (I didn't have a party). Since you are having a party, you should plan to send a TY to ANYONE that attends the party - not just the people who give you gifts. Engagement gifts are not expected, so anyone that is present to share in the celebration should be appropriately thanked.

The same should apply to the wedding TY's. If someone shares in the joy of your day, they should be thanked, regardless of whether or not they give a gift. I know many of the women here feel they were 'wronged' by a guest at their weddings, and many will say that they shouldn't have to send a TY. You'll have to use your own judgement if this happens to you. Personally, I believe in rising above, even if the guest was rude or wrong.
I sent out all of my TY's within 3 months of the wedding day.

WithThisRing Posted: Jan 02, 2003 11:13 AM

Re: No Thank you sent from a friend...

I just think she is being really rude and now its almost 2 years later and it was like we give her gifts and she cant even tell her guests thanks for your thoughfulness. I didnt just go right up to her and say 'so when are you mailing my thank you card', I would make a passing comment like 'so did you get your photo's back, which one are you using for your thank you's' and when she showed me her proofs I would say 'wow these are great, wow this would be a great thank you'

I dont want my friends and family to say that I was not a good bride and I want to keep in proper ettiquette with sending thank you's. I got a card when we announced our engagement and a check and i sent a thank you 2 weeks later and I felt that was late.

Cira Posted: Jan 02, 2003 11:31 AM

Re: No Thank you sent from a friend...

I think you are being a great bride, since this 'thank you' is a concern for you and you want to do the right thing, so now need to worry about that.

Everyone here is giving you great advice. 2 weeks wasn't late for a thank you. I sent my wedding thank you's 6 months later because we got busy buying a house and I had classes in the evenings.

WithThisRing Posted: Jan 02, 2003 11:33 AM

Re: No Thank you sent from a friend...

Thanks everyone

michele31 Posted: Jan 02, 2003 11:42 AM

Re: No Thank you sent from a friend...

You should tell your friend that you will 'not get over it' at all. If people make the time to purchase gifts, select cards, attend events etc...the least she can do is acknowledge their efforts/generousity.
I gave a 'friend' a baby gift and never got a thank you card, or even phone call. That was the LAST gift I ever sent to her.
I pre-addressed my wedding thank you envelopes before the wedding and that helped A LOT. I just got them all out today- 2 months after the wedding. They take time, but if you just sit and write a few a night they do get done. Also, my shower TYs were sent the week after.

shamma Posted: Jan 02, 2003 11:42 AM

Re: No Thank you sent from a friend...

I am still waiting on mine from a couple whose wedding we went to 5 yrs ago. I guess some people don't care to say thanks. I think its bad practice.

NovemberSue Posted: Jan 02, 2003 11:46 AM

Re: No Thank you sent from a friend...

Your friend must have upset a lot of people. These people took the time to pick out nice gifts and she is totally unappreciative. I'm surprised her family didn't get on her back.

WithThisRing Posted: Jan 02, 2003 11:51 AM

Re: No Thank you sent from a friend...

Shamma 5 years ago...

I really think that I took the time to find the perfect card, the right gift and this person couldnt take the time to send me a thank you, even if it was an email she isnt appreciative. That is really upsetting.

Thanks for all your advice

Sonicstef Posted: Jan 02, 2003 11:55 AM

Re: No Thank you sent from a friend...

Chipp: She is obviously very unappreciative of your time/money/effort to say such a thing but some people have no class. Now you know she falls into that group.

Cindy Posted: Jan 02, 2003 11:55 AM

Re: No Thank you sent from a friend...

Gee, that is rude. It is hard to write all those wedding thank yous but they should be done. We didnt send thank yous to only a few people, if they didnt give a gift or some of my husbands cousins who made a scene and we wont ever see them again. I dont understand why she didnt write any at all.

SomedayBride Posted: Jan 02, 2003 12:00 PM

Re: No Thank you sent from a friend...

Ugg...I feel your pain. I went to the wedding of my FBIL this summer, gave a generous gift, and my FH was even the best man and still no thank you! Get this though, my mom also attended the wedding, and she got her thank you last month. Was my gift not worthy of thanks? What gives?! Ugh!

dgtlsunshine Posted: Jan 02, 2003 12:10 PM

Re: No Thank you sent from a friend...

Shamma girl you are too much.

WithThisRing Posted: Jan 02, 2003 12:26 PM

Re: No Thank you sent from a friend...

I know its a lot of thank you's to write, but they have to be done. I understand wedding thank you's and wanting to wait for the pictures, but we went to a wedding of a couple we barely knew and they sent us a lovely thank you card a month later and even thanked us for making the long drive (they live in NJ)

A little thank you goes a long way

ChristineC68 Posted: Jan 02, 2003 12:43 PM

Re: No Thank you sent from a friend...

I agree - a little DOES go a long way.

It takes less time to write a thank you then it does to get a card, gift and attend a function such as a shower, wedding or birthday party. It is really inconsiderate to take that for granted and rude not to acknowledge the effort people make on your behalf.