Non pregnant brides--question

Non pregnant brides--question

Ok we decided that we were going to wait a few years before we started a family-- Mostly because I want to be a stay at home mom and I am not ready to give up my career nor after buying hte house are we ready financially(not that we ever will be)
but I always feared that once my friends started I would want to as well-- well fri night we got the first announcement--friends who got married the week after us are pregnant and my MOH who got married 4 months after us just went off the pill--she is a teacher so they are trying to plan for a summer baby--
I am afraid that once she gets pregnant I will want to --- at least we have made it to a year (Today!!!)
and I am weary about talking to friends/family because I have been so set about waiting--Help--especially from those who are waiting-- remind me why I want to wait
Laura

Non pregnant brides--question

It IS hard to remember why you are waiting once your friends get started! My friend who got married 2 weeks after me just had twins, and my friend who got married 6 weeks before me recently announced her pregnancy, and I'm a little jealous, even though I'm not ready!
We are waiting because we want to enjoy our time as newlyweds. We want a little more time to be spontaneous and selfish before we bring a new member into our family. We had originally planned to wait about 3 years, but I think we are both moving toward being ready a little faster than we anticipated. : )

Congratulations on your anniversary! May you have many, many, more happy years together! : )

Pregnant bride's response :)

I'll respond here even though this is posted to NON-pregant and I am pregnant :)

I think that if you are so easily motivated (good choice of word ?) to start a family just by hearing news from friends, then maybe you ARE ready! :) I have friends and family that are NOT ready and NOTHing makes them decide otherwise.
Maybe there is something in your mind that WANTS a baby, that WANTS to start a family.

Everyone that has children has given something up in life, and from what I have heard, it is SO SO SO worth it.
Right now I happen to be unemployed (nothing to do with pregnancy - got laid off right before this) and yes i miss that salary, and that challenge of accomplishing set work goals. But it is not to say that I may not work part time, or go back into the work force in a year or 2. or I may never want to work again !

Try not to get hung up on what is making you 'wait'. I know the age factor and how long a couple has dated plays a major role, we dated 6 years by our wedding date. So we enjoyed many vacations, weekend getaways, etc etc. We are 27 and 31, and we both feel SSSOOOOO ready to start going to little league games or dance recitals !

This decision is altogether a personal decision, and there is no right and wrong. There are so many factors that play into making this decision.

I wish you all the best when you feel the time is right for you :)

Non pregnant brides--question

I`m with JennRenee: 'We want a little more time to be spontaneous and selfish before we bring a new member into our family.' I feel that once you`re pregnant, there is no going back. There`s 9 months of uncontrollable growth followed by years of dirty diapers and a screaming mouth to feed. I remind myself of that and then savor the fact that I`m not obligated to it (yet!).

Hope this helps...although, just because you make plans to wait X number of years doesn`t mean anything -- plans are like rules (they`re meant to be changed/broken).

Best of luck :-)

--Glory

I don`t know if I`ll be much help...

I *wish* we were pregnant now. It doesn`t help that my sister, who I work with and see everyday, is due 9/3. Of course, I`m thrilled for her...but.

When we were engaged we talked about getting pregnant soon after the wedding. However, reality struck. We didn`t have a house, I wanted to change my career, and frankly, I needed to lose weight (alot).

So, in February we decided to put the baby making on hold. We found a house, I have some job prospects lined up (fingers crossed), and I joined Weight Watchers on February 25th and I`ve lost 32 pounds so far! Yay for me!

We`ll be doing the *baby dance* this summer. I'm 36 and I know I'm tempting fate by waiting, but I knew that everything in our lives had to be in *order* before we brought a child into the world.

Honestly, if I was in my 20's or very early 30's, I'd probably wait a few years so that I could be like Jenn Renee - selfish! LOL

:)

Happy Anniversary Laura!!

I think it's a good question that you're asking...

My husband and I just made our 1st year, and we're planning to wait about three more years! One of my bridesmaids just had her first and one of our groomsmen just had his second. We love babies, but they are a lot of work and you have to be ready and willing to invest that time. We LOVE being married and living together so we want to get used to this and enjoy it for a while...

Now that is 'our' plan, and we have prayed on it, but you never know what God's plan is, so we remain mindful and humble about the 'larger plan.'

Good Luck for whatever your life-choice will be!!! Someone told me once that having a baby is like choosing your husband--you just 'know' when it's right, and how to 'make' it right if (and/or when) you need to!!!

God Bless,

Ayanna-Anubride

Anna, great response!

It put things into even greater perspective for me. : )

Kathi ~ 32 pounds?! You go girl! : ) *NM*

Kathi !!!! Thats GREAT!!! good for you!!! *NM*

Jenn Renee longgggg

Thanks - was hoping to word it so as not to offend anyone (but to maybe invite some of you into the world of motherhood to be !! :)

I have read too many articles on how so many women want to plan a pregnancy down to the month and year, and when they start trying their plans may not be what they had in mind. I actually read that your chances of fertility start decreasing at 27, i almost fell over when i read that ! I thought it was more like 35. It was an article in TIMES magazine all about this topic.
So it's really something we cant take for granted. At about age 30 a friend of mine said that by 35 she would have all her kids, whether she had one or 2 by then. She is almost 34 and it doesnt even come up in conversation (and i will not ask or make a comment-its something you cant ask about sometimes unless the person confides in you about it). She loves her career right now, and i guess she is not ready yet.

We are all differnt and have different views on enjoying life. My first week of college, I was 17, and the professor went around the room asking how many children we wanted to have (before we made our career choices) and EVERYONE Responded, 0, 1 or 2, well I responded 6 . Now i look back and say YIKES ! but i have just always loved children and big families. It was never a question in my mind that i should finish this part of my career as a matter of fact if i waited 5 years more, i would have just been making more of a sacrifice, because that is all the more experience, salary, and position in the work force that one would leave (if they chose to leave work).

Sorry i babbled on !

Thanks for listening !

:)

Thanks, Jenn Renee & Lisa!!! :) *NM*

Kathi- That is wonderful!!! *NM*

Anna

Originally, I was one of those 'I want a baby in March of 2003' kind of people, but I've been realizing that life decides, you don't! : )
As for fertility declining at 27... uh oh! I just turned 29, and my family isn't the most fertile. Luckily, I think Pat and I are BOTH starting to think 'baby'! (And I do mean STARTING! No intent yet, but this is a lot sooner than we thought we'd be interested!)

Jenn Renee

Tons of baby dust to you, and when you're ready, i'll give you all the good websites, book ideas, etc etc.

I think all this news just makes us crazy. Years ago, our moms didnt have to abide by all these rules when prego. Now we have a list of what we cant eat, shouldnt do (hair, nails) ETC ETc.

I guess we each have to find a fine line in between and still be able to enjoy life while pregnant and not feel so restricted.

Thanks Anna ~ everything you said is SO true! *NM*