GOD, I love the emotions of an alcoholic. So Dad got a feeling I wasn't coming for the Holidays since I haven't been to my parents in weeks. He just called and apologized. That is the 2nd time in my entire life I ever heard him say that, so I am impressed.
AngnShaun
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Re: NWR: Personal Question
just spend time with my Mom on Christmas Eve and let him suffer on Christmas??
thats my vote
CarolAnn721
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Re: NWR: Personal Question
Posted by AngnShaun
just spend time with my Mom on Christmas Eve and let him suffer on Christmas??
thats my vote
That's what I want to do, but I don't want her to be upset. I have to start with the let down talk now....
bride2be1012
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I'd spend time with alone. It doesn't sound like you are going to have a pleasant time with him around.
AngnShaun
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Posted by CarolAnn721
Posted by AngnShaun
just spend time with my Mom on Christmas Eve and let him suffer on Christmas??
thats my vote
That's what I want to do, but I don't want her to be upset. I have to start with the let down talk now....
idk dude, sounds like shes going to be upset anyway...
flibbertigibbet
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Re: NWR: Personal Question
do you think he even remembers doing this?
if he doesn't... and this is just me...
i'd write down what he said to you.
put that shtt in an envelope with a bow on it and put that sucker under the tree.
merry christmas, a-hole.
sorry, my dad's an alcoholic too... so i'm all been there done that on this subject.
sorry you're dealing with this around the holidays though. don't miss out on the holidays with your mom just because your dad is being a moron.
little j
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Posted by AngnShaun
just spend time with my Mom on Christmas Eve and let him suffer on Christmas??
thats my vote
this
dctead
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Posted by flibbertigibbet
do you think he even remembers doing this?
if he doesn't... and this is just me...
i'd write down what he said to you.
put that shtt in an envelope with a bow on it and put that sucker under the tree.
QUOTE]
This would be my first thought....
But if it isn't an option for you - then I'd honestly vote that you see your Mom Christmas Eve and let him suffer.
Sorry you have to deal with this!
CarolAnn721
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Re: NWR: Personal Question
Posted by flibbertigibbet
do you think he even remembers doing this?
if he doesn't... and this is just me...
i'd write down what he said to you.
put that shtt in an envelope with a bow on it and put that sucker under the tree.
merry christmas, a-hole.
sorry, my dad's an alcoholic too... so i'm all been there done that on this subject.
sorry you're dealing with this around the holidays though. don't miss out on the holidays with your mom just because your dad is being a moron.
For 30 years I dealt with his crap, but I am grown, married and don't need him in my life, so I don't know. I've played voicemails back to him in the past. All it did was fuel the next time he over indulged. I am the youngest out of 4. He already has 5 (out of 7)grandchildren that don't even know he exists, so I don't know why he is pulling this shizzle with me. I don't know. I guess I will see how jolly (or nasty) I feel that day on what I do.
kris_gets_hitched
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Re: NWR: Personal Question
I'd spend time with your mom on Christmas Eve and leave it at that. She might be disappointed and sad, but you're still spending Christmas Eve with her.
Sorry...my dad's also an alcoholic, though sober for most of my life. When I was a kiddo, some holidays weren't so swell for the same reasons. I know what it's like.
CarolAnn721
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One of my sisters that I will not see on Christmas Eve is going to my mothers with her twin daughters for Christmas Day. So originally I planned on going there first, exchanging gifts and than going to my in-laws. Or going for dessert and seeing all of them. Who knows. I am tired of this stuff though. Feel like I am at a breaking point.
CarolAnn721
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Thanks ladies!! Sometimes it's easier to get opinions from people who aren't involved in my family and can answer unbiased. Thanks!!!
barbtony
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My question....knowing this situation.....is it going to phase your father if you're there or not or is it going to add fuel to the fire which would warrant another one of those phone calls from your father? Is DH going with you?
I (apparently with a couple of you other ladies) completely understand these types of situations.
GR2010
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I would just go see your mom on Christmas Eve. Sure she'll be upset on Christmas day but you shouldn't have to spend the holidays around someone who is going to make you feel like shyt.
CarolAnn721
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Posted by barbtony
My question....knowing this situation.....is it going to phase your father if you're there or not or is it going to add fuel to the fire which would warrant another one of those phone calls from your father? Is DH going with you?
I (apparently with a couple of you other ladies) completely understand these types of situations.
Here's the other thing, if I don't go, it will fuel a later argument between my mother and father. So since I know I could avoid something for her, I force myself to do things I don't want to do, to make her life a little easier. SO ANNOYING!! Ehhhh, we will see. I may wake up and won't even leave my bed, therefore making everyone angry, but me sooo happy!!
CarolAnn721
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Posted by GR2010
I would just go see your mom on Christmas Eve. Sure she'll be upset on Christmas day but you shouldn't have to spend the holidays around someone who is going to make you feel like shyt.
He doesn't have the ballz to say or do anything when he is sober, so he will act like nothing if I go there....Than he will call when he has some beer balz and go off on what he didn't like about me or the way I look, etc.
barbtony
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Re: NWR: Personal Question
Posted by CarolAnn721
Here's the other thing, if I don't go, it will fuel a later argument between my mother and father. So since I know I could avoid something for her, I force myself to do things I don't want to do, to make her life a little easier. SO ANNOYING!! Ehhhh, we will see. I may wake up and won't even leave my bed, therefore making everyone angry, but me sooo happy!!
What is your gut telling you to do???? Its taken a long time, but now I go with (for the most part), what is going to make me happy? There comes a point in your life where you have to start worrying about your happiness (and sanity) and not everyone elses.
barbtony
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Re: NWR: Personal Question**UPDATE**
Posted by CarolAnn721
GOD, I love the emotions of an alcoholic. So Dad got a feeling I wasn't coming for the Holidays since I haven't been to my parents in weeks. He just called and apologized. That is the 2nd time in my entire life I ever heard him say that, so I am impressed.
