NWR: Z100 Topic This Morning Interesting.... POLL

I was listening to Elvis this morning... I love when they have the relationship topics..

One woman called and said she has been dating her BF for 10 years and is waiting for the proposal!!

Well they told her.. He might think she has nothing interesting that will 'WOW' him about their relationship..

My point.. How long should the relationship last as BF/GF before it gets to marriage?? Do you think after 10 years of just the BF/GF thing the relationship is just stagnant and not sparkling?

Thoughts...

Well, if they were together from when they wer like 16 then thats okay. But if they were together from like 25, thats a bit much...

I dont know. DH thought us waiting 5 years was alot but that was because he is two years older (i think?)

Depends on the situation entirely, I think. Some people don't think it's really important to get married and are content to just be together. A girlfriend of mine has been with her boyfriend (though really, he's a lot more than just her boyfriend!) for 17 years and they have a child together. This works for them right now. They're obviously committed to each other and have a loving relationship ... they don't see a need to get married if things are working well the way they are.

But ... if I were the girl you mentioned and had been waiting to be proposed to ... well, we wouldn't be together 10 years. To me personally, it was important for me to get married. I would not have waited that long. And I wonder if she has even broached the subject to him. Some women are too timid and afraid to push their partners away by talking about marriage that they never do ... and thus ... they end up in a 10-year relationship with no wedding in sight.

yeah i think it all depends on at what age you started dating...DH and I started dating when i was 21/22...i could never have seen myself getting married at 23! we were both soo immature, so waiting the long 5+ years to get married was perfect...
tho if we met at 25 i think 5 would be too long!
depends i guess..

The only time I think its acceptable is if you're 15-18 when you start dating. I also don't think its a GREAT idea to date someone seriously that young because I do feel like those are growing years and they're years where you identify yourself as a person. If you date someone long term that young, I feel like you kinda just are each other. You ID yourself with the relationship. Does that make any sense? For some people it works out, but more often than not, it doesn't.

Anyway...so would I wait 10 years to get married, no. Would I wait 5? Yeah probably. But this April is our 5 year anniversary... and if I was still waiting to get engaged, I would've effed him up by now. lol

I think it depends on a lot, like how old were you when you started dating... if you started dating at 14, then yes 10 years is more then acceptable. I think marriage isn't just about the right person, but about the right person at the right time.

In my case... I felt 3 years was getting to be to much, especially since it was 3 years in round 2 and we met 10 years ago. I am 29 and as I said to DH, I am not marrying someone in my 30s that I met when I was 18.

She lady on the radio said she was in her early 30's!! Its hard to predict anyones relationship in 10 years ..


DH and I (36/25) - I personally didnt shut up about wanting a ring after we've bought two houses and lived 'LIKE' husband and wife for 4 years... Then he one day said.. Here is the ring now marry me! (but not quite like that) Then It was like WHOAAAAA!! Everything came by soo quick I didnt get a chance to blink! I didn;t want the wedding (just the ring!!)... But he proposed both and I couldnt say NO to his charming petition!

I know couples that are content just having the bf/gf relationship and dont need a piece of paper to tell them they are each other's for life... I think thats great!

It's when one person wants the marriage and the other just isnt willing to do that is when it gets very tricky... DH's friend is 28, his gf is 34. She is very much looking to settle down and have a family with him... She feel like its either do or die for her right now... Marriage is prob the furthest thing from his mind and we all know he's never going to make that commitment to her... He's a huge flirter and def not marriage material. This girl is in denial it seems. They have been dating for 3 yrs, not 10 but i can easily see her staying with him for the 10 yrs and still not having a ring... They just really arent on the same page... Sad...

I dont think theres anything wrong with couples who are BOTH content on just dating for 10, 20, 50+ years... If I had to guess though, i'd say that was the minority and most stay around with the non-committing sig other for many yrs hoping a marriage comes out of it and it prob rarely does...

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Posted by KittyGags

The only time I think its acceptable is if you're 15-18 when you start dating. I also don't think its a GREAT idea to date someone seriously that young because I do feel like those are growing years and they're years where you identify yourself as a person. If you date someone long term that young, I feel like you kinda just are each other. You ID yourself with the relationship. Does that make any sense? For some people it works out, but more often than not, it doesn't.

Anyway...so would I wait 10 years to get married, no. Would I wait 5? Yeah probably. But this April is our 5 year anniversary... and if I was still waiting to get engaged, I would've effed him up by now. lol

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I think you might have some arguments towards your statement bc i was thrown for a loop by it myself, but just wanted to say that in my case, you are prob right... DH & I started dating when we were 17/18... 6 yrs into it, I got the ring and at 8 1/2 yrs, we were finally married! But I totally agree about finding your identity at that age... I think I lost alot of myself in those early years and of course mistakes were made and I feel like it is now at 26 that im trying to 'find myself'.... It has always been US, but never really ME....

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

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Posted by KittyGags

The only time I think its acceptable is if you're 15-18 when you start dating. I also don't think its a GREAT idea to date someone seriously that young because I do feel like those are growing years and they're years where you identify yourself as a person. If you date someone long term that young, I feel like you kinda just are each other. You ID yourself with the relationship. Does that make any sense? For some people it works out, but more often than not, it doesn't.

Anyway...so would I wait 10 years to get married, no. Would I wait 5? Yeah probably. But this April is our 5 year anniversary... and if I was still waiting to get engaged, I would've effed him up by now. lol

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I think you might have some arguments towards your statement bc i was thrown for a loop by it myself, but just wanted to say that in my case, you are prob right... DH & I started dating when we were 17/18... 6 yrs into it, I got the ring and at 8 1/2 yrs, we were finally married! But I totally agree about finding your identity at that age... I think I lost alot of myself in those early years and of course mistakes were made and I feel like it is now at 26 that im trying to 'find myself'.... It has always been US, but never really ME....

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It wasn't meant to be offensive at all, but I guess I got my point across because you got where I was going with it...

I remember dating a guy for 10 months when I was 17. And I remember doing things because it was 'us' and not what I 'wanted' to do...and that was the end. He was a great guy and was honestly so nice, but I needed to find myself, thats all.

There are instances where people figure it out and make it work, but I am glad that I dated around when I was young and figured out what I liked.

MMM, totally depends on the situation and what one is looking for.

Some people don't want to get married and they realize later on they want to. Hence, the 10 year wait.

Other people are high schoool sweethearts. My cousin was with her man 12 years before they got married. They were together since they were 14. So, for them it made sense to wait.

If they guy is in his late 30's or 40's and still doesn't want to, I say forget him and move on... He's more than likely to never get married.