ok - I know this has been asked b4 but ..

ok - I know this has been asked b4 but ..

for those of you who do not have kids or are not expecting right this second...have you spoken about having children yet?

I had a frank talk last Thu (over the phone while at work- I hate that but it seems to work!) w/ my hubby about some things he may not realize are effecting me.
job pressure for one and the looming mortgage payment...
so it did come around to talking about having kids and he lays a whooper on me: 'I can't wait til it happens'. WOW! he hadn't ever talked like that b4.
So, now he knows that I need him to step up to the plate when it comes to certain things. Let's see over the next few weeks if it really has sunk in.
How are all of you doing?

ok - I know this has been asked b4 but ..I'm ready

We live in a 600 sq foot apartment and I can't tell you how ready we are no matter what...it just hasn't happened for us. He says he would love for it to happen but you know men, they think of the financial pressure before anything. All us girls can think about is the miracle of a little baby and us being Moms.

ok - I know this has been asked b4 but ..

We`ve talked about it also, and we plan to start trying soon.... I love kids, he of course wanted to be financially ready (as Nubride said all men do, BOY DO THEY !! lol), I would have been happy living in a shoebox, getting married 4 years earlier....but nooooooo...lol....and he loves kids just as much...

Phyl, i would go with your heart. if you feel emotionally ready for a child, go for it, you will make do with what you have or dont have (financially). My parents made it on a very low income, 4 kids in a small apartment, 25-30 years ago..... sometimes i think about me not working (being a stay at home mom), Yes, that would mean less family income, but sometimes we can sit around forever and think that 'one day' will be a perfect day to have kids....seeing my sis and cousins have children (some were not exactly planned for that time in their lives, and they have been the best blessings that came to them...
Also, I have known several people that said 'in 2 years, I will have a baby' and God may not have had that plan...what i mean is, it can take a month, or a year to conceive, so we might as well not hold off on things...its not totally in our control as much as we think it is.....
Just let it happen... I hope i didnt go off on a tangent, or sound confusing!

I just finished watching the movie CASTAWAY (has anyone seen it ??? WOW!!!) so i`m in a 'enjoy every minute of life and dont take anything for granted' frame of mind !!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR...
God Bless and best wishes to all !

anna :)

ok - I know this has been asked b4 but ..

We are currently in the process of trying to have a baby...even though hubby's job situation is a little shaky right now. We both decided the time is right, although originally we had agreed to start trying as soon as we got home from the honeymoon, we did put it off until about a month ago, because of hubby and his job. We are both in the same place right now and I think that is most important. We also both agree that I will be a stay at home mom no matter what, so that has influenced many of our decisions. For example, we know that any 'major' things we want done in the house need to get done while there are still 2 salaries coming in. To be honest, I can't wait to have a baby, but sometimes I get a little panicky!! We have so much fun and our life together is so great and a baby will really change all that...it's still scary even though we both want it! Keep talking to each other...

ok - I know this has been asked b4 but ..

Hello Brides!!

It's so exciting to see so many women who are ready to have kids!!! We had 'The Talk' too and I for one am not ready at all and nor is my husband!!! We are really trying to enjoy one another for a while and get to know each other as a couple. We never lived together, so this is new for us. We're praying that our schedule and God's schedule for us matches up ;-) so that in a few years, if we choose to, we can start a family. Fortunately my husband and I are on the same page and though we both LOVE kids we are not quite ready to be parents. But of course, it God sends us something, then it's meant to be, no matter when it happens!!!

God Bless and Good Luck... Before I got married I got the best advice from a friend (& my doctor) who has 2 children & can afford them (both she and her husband are surgeons) and she said, 'Make sure that you do EVERYTHING that you want to do BEFORE you have children...It's not that you can't do anything with them, but your life becomes theirs, so BE READY and WILLING to give your life to your child so that you & your child may fully enjoy the experience.'

It got me thinking:-)!!! Enjoy Life & follow YOUR heart!!!

God Bless,

Ayanna--Anubride

Need *baby dust* sent my way!!!

My wonderful gift from God husband told me last night that he all he wants to give me for my birthday (in October) is a baby.

Good luck to all of you that are trying! We know it`s in God`s hands and whenever He`s ready, we`re ready!

God bless and Happy New Year!

:)

Not ready - but good luck to all who are...

My husband and I are not ready but everyone is at a different time. If you are both on the same page let faith take over. Children are a blessing planned or unplanned.

On another note Anna I saw Castaway and loved it but it does show you not to take anything for granted.

Enjoy the movie.

Im sending some *baby dust* thoughts to you Kathi and ...

all the other brides who want it.
We are hoping for some too.

ok - I know this has been asked b4 but ..I`m ready

Sending out baby dust**** to all who want it. My hubby and had our talk right after 9/11 and decided that we couldnt find a reason to wait. (we have a house, flexible jobs & lots of luck)So that was our wedding present to each other and our xmas present to my parents. I hope that when you feel it in your hearts that the time is right you are as blessed as me and my DH are. My prayers and good wishes to you all.

reply to anna..and all

I HEAR what you are saying ANNA. My Dad was the breadwinner...on about a $30,000 salary..when things were good. ( construction,masoner) and my mom stayed home.
But 25-30 years ago there was a different financial picture. Taxes were lower. My parents paid maybe $2.0 a year for taxes & $1.0 for water/sewer..and we were in a very good school district in Bklyn.
I wonder who is paying that kind of rate NOW? no one.
It was a different world then and granted my mom made a lot of sacrifices for us kids.

And, in our case at least, the WOMAN is the one worrying about the financies- not the guy....
I just dont understand what his perception seems to be: we will figure out who will watch the INFANT when it gets here. Well, dont you think that it will be kinda hard breast feeding if I am at work and the baby isnt? ( I know, I know- pump it but you get my point, I hope :0)
argh!

reply to anna..and all

Phyl
-youre definately right that it was a totally different situation 30 years ago... Taxes and the prices of homes were lower back then, but salaries were also much lower, so i think it was just as hard to get by...I guess I was just trying to say do the best you can in whatever situation comes your way..
My sister is in your shoes being the main breadwinner, and she may just be changing roles soon...She has 2 children and 1 on the way. She was always very into school and career, but as her kids have grown and her family is growing, she is considering not going back to work. This is something that is different for each couple and their situations. I also know someone who cant possibly consider staying home (but would love to) , they would not be able to live comfortably on her hubbys income alone, and she has considered rearranging her schedule to 3 days a week (making 70-75% of her salary) and being able to be home 2 weekdays with the kids. I guess depending on the company you work for and babysitting situation (she has family babysitting) hopefully you can find a good solution for you.

Dont stress too much about it :)

Hey i've considered opening up a day care....hmmm...

reply to anna..

Let me know when you open up for biz- I may be your customer!
No family to babysit..because we are hoping that his parents will move to FLorida in this year. (they have been planning this a long time & need to move where they can live on a limited income)
Besides, mil will be 62 and his dad is 72. Although I know they'd love to babysit for the occasional nights out- they would not b able to 'work' a more permenant 3 day sked.

As far as career goes, we wouldnt make it on hubbyincome alone. Would have to sell the house and move .. WHERE in the NY area could it be any cheaper? and I would still own a home in a GREAT school district/community?

Kids were the reason we moved out of bklyn.

SO, I guess the moral of the story is that we can plan only so much, worry only so much, and then take the plunge!
Just wish my parents were alive..oh boy..

reply to anna..

I would really consider opening up a daycare center, but i get nervous at all the 'what ifs'...ugh...But i've always loved kids, my mom has always been a babysitter, in fact the last girl (now 9) has become so attached to my family, mom bsat her from 2months old to 1st grade. She was in all our bridal parties (3 of us married)...so its really special to babysit...
My sis has has my mom to babysit, which has helped her alot, hey daycare is not cheap! But now that shes up to #3, my mom is getting nervous about it, lol, shes 63. My MIL has offered many times for when i have a baby (which she only asks me about EVERY TIME I SEE HERRRR....), that she will retire asap. Only thing is , she is in Queens and I am in Suffolk...(im unemployed now but depending on where i'll be working that may be WAYYYY out of the way...I guess we'll figure something out..
Are there any companies out on LI that have onsite daycare ? I heard Computer Associates does, but I also heard there is a waiting list. (and its hard to get in there to work also!...and i've heard numerous comments about working there..) My sister was once looking into articles on 'great companies for working moms'. IN NYC I'm sure there are more options...

sorry for my blabbing !

:)
anna

Anna

I think you are talking about the Working Woman issue regarding companies for working moms. There were alot of companies in Manhattan, I don`t know about LI but CA was definitely one of them. Others I can recall are JP Morgan, Morgan Stanley, PriceWaterhouse Coopers, Bristol Myers, Amex... I think their website is workingwoman.com, maybe there is info there. I know Symbol Technologies on LI has childcare.
I just found out my company has facilities in our Stamford office. My husband and I are house hunting in North Westchester so that might be an option if I can get a transfer. I`d be shocked if they don`t have a waiting list though. (I wonder if you can you get on the list before you have conceived LOL) Still, I heard they have 'lactation rooms' for working moms who breastfeed. I hope more companies start doing this. In Manhattan though, office space is too expensive, I wonder how cost effective it is.

Elizabeth

Thanks for that info..! I will look into some of those companies.

Funny, I've thought about that too, at what point can you put yourself on a waiting list for daycare at a company.. Then theres the factor of people/bosses treating you differently if they think youre pregnant or planning. Ive heard stories... Thats so wrong! I know girls that have waited till their 6th month till they told work. Some girls dont show that much !

Elizabeth-that would be great for you if you lived near your Stamford office!

Anna - here is the link to the article

http://www.workingwoman.com/oct_2001/100_best.shtml

Anna - here is the link to the article - thanks MICHELLE! *NM*