Ok so I was a little bothered the other night

We went to dinner the other night with a 'new' couple. DH works with him, and I've met her once. SO they are both police officers.

As dinner is going on, I decide, she's just not the type of person I would be 'friends' with.. She's very nice don't get me wrong, but we just have a different out look on life. She's extremely controlling of her DH, to the point that she banned my DH and her DH from getting breakfast in the morning because she doesn't like what he's eating

Anyway, so were talking about cop stuff, and she's like did you know they taught them the other day about the statistics of cops cheating on their wives is 80%... so I'm like okay, that's really nice! She's like yeah well I'm prepared and so should you

she's like we've been married for 7 years and things get old!! I was so blown away by this. So I'm like we've been together 7 years, so what does that mean??? She looks at me and rolls her eyes...

Now even if this is true, what the heck??? It upset me to no end, and now I feel like I don't want to hang out with her anymore. The DH's both sat there in silence..
What do I make of this??

What to make of it? Well, seems like she's a little bitter and feels like you will be or should be too. But she's an asssss for rolling her eyes at you and for the whole thing. I don't think you guys need to hang out any more - she's not your friend. And if your DH and her DH want to hang out that's fine (well, if the DH is 'allowed' by his controlling wife!), but that doesn't mean you have to go and sit through her negativity.

ohhhhh wow that is weird... she does not sound like a positive person like she is 'waiting' for her hubby to cheat.. she keeps acting like that he will! I would'nt worry one of my friends her hubby has been a cop for 15 years and they have been together for the same time and she has not had any problem.... Did you discuss this with Kyle? if it bothers you I would let him know how you feel and how this women upset you...

(hopefully you wont have to hang out with them all too often) or like Yesenia said above the men can hang out you don't have to be hang out with someone like that...

ew. I hate her. Never hang out with them again.

honestly---i'm not surprised one bit. i swear its like another world when it comes to cops and fidelity. i'm not saying that every single cop cheats.....but seriously its unreal how many do. my brother has been on the job for nearly 6 years--and DH for about 3 years......and the # of guys in their precincts (and girls for that matter) that cheat on their SOs...is quite high.

BUT that doesn't mean that automatically you need to put your DH on a short leash and be overbearing and controlling. if anything--that is the kind of behavior that will give a man/woman the desire to want to go out and cheat! sounds to me like this woman is extremely insecure and is waiting for the other shoe to drop in her relationship---and that is why she feels she needs to control her DH---cause she knows how so many cops she works with are.

she sounds quite bitter----BUT --- i bet in some weird twisted way--she thinks she's helping you out and giving you a 'heads up'.....she did it in a rather odd way, but i think that might be what she was going for. and as for the rolling eyes---thats probably the 'cop' in her thinking 'oh wow this one is naive about what might happen' its totally immature--but sometimes those cops thinks they know everything!

Heather, i dont think i can hang out with that person again... she is obviously a bitter person and think that all 'cops cheat' well i know what that percentage rate its.. and it does not phase me at all with my DH.. we are made for each other and i trust him 100%.. dont let someone else scare you.. .sounds like she is very insecure and has issues ..

i actually had someone tell me to be careful also.. i just rolled my eyes and forgot about it a second later..


hey forget about them... we should do a dinner date!!

---

Posted by MJDoc12

honestly---i'm not surprised one bit. i swear its like another world when it comes to cops and fidelity. i'm not saying that every single cop cheats.....but seriously its unreal how many do. my brother has been on the job for nearly 6 years--and DH for about 3 years......and the # of guys in their precincts (and girls for that matter) that cheat on their SOs...is quite high.

BUT that doesn't mean that automatically you need to put your DH on a short leash and be overbearing and controlling. if anything--that is the kind of behavior that will give a man/woman the desire to want to go out and cheat! sounds to me like this woman is extremely insecure and is waiting for the other shoe to drop in her relationship---and that is why she feels she needs to control her DH---cause she knows how so many cops she works with are.

she sounds quite bitter----BUT --- i bet in some weird twisted way--she thinks she's helping you out and giving you a 'heads up'.....she did it in a rather odd way, but i think that might be what she was going for. and as for the rolling eyes---thats probably the 'cop' in her thinking 'oh wow this one is naive about what might happen' its totally immature--but sometimes those cops thinks they know everything!

---

your right. See Dh has been a cop for 7 years, so its nothing to me anymore... I've seen more of his cop friends cheat on their wives then the few that haven't. Her DH just became a cop. like Nov 1st.... so i think maybe since i started dating DH when he first went in and I was young and not married I wasn't worried, but her DH left a good career, where none of that went on, and I think she might be pissed a little.. she even said 'I gave him the option to stay home with our son and I would just work' I totally know that alot of them cheat, but the more you worry about it, I'm convinced, it happens.. But every time I talk about her to DH, hes just like I really like him... so he can have him, and I think i'll stay home next time

um, stay away... she sounds uber paranoid and it would be easier to just avoid her.

you'll be fine!

I am not married to a cop but my Dh's best friend IS a douchebag. Like he and his wife have an awful amrriage but its predominately because they're both too selfish to work things out; he looks for her 'replacement' each time they have a fight and she refuses to go to counseling. they just scream DIVORCE all the time.


Ironically they did get divorced 5 years ago; then they got remarried and now they're back to wnating to divorce and have two pre teen/teenage sons.

I stopped wanting to hang out with them because the friend was always making 'redictions' about how quick our marriage would fail and saying stuff like 'She was already giing up the HELLO, why would you marry her?! You had it for free man.'

He's an abrasive @ssneck who thinks its 'a joke' but it wasn't funny to me and it put DH in aquandry because they'bve been good dependable friends for years but it was disresepecting OUR relationship. So I said I wont go over there anymore, period. He can have his friend but leave me out of it, because I know he likes the guy as a person though he doesnt approve of the way he handles his marriage.

Eventually they stopped hanging out so much though they talk all the time like 2 girls lol. DH NEVER forces em to see them and he understands. And the last time we did see him, the friend was sooo much more respectful. My quiet protest obviously was heard.

You're totally in your right to not want to hang out with her-he's your DH's friend. Let them have that but trust your man. Use his nights out with him as an excuse to have a girl's night!

---

Posted by HeatherRose

your right. See Dh has been a cop for 7 years, so its nothing to me anymore... I've seen more of his cop friends cheat on their wives then the few that haven't. Her DH just became a cop. like Nov 1st.... so i think maybe since i started dating DH when he first went in and I was young and not married I wasn't worried, but her DH left a good career, where none of that went on, and I think she might be pissed a little.. she even said 'I gave him the option to stay home with our son and I would just work' I totally know that alot of them cheat, but the more you worry about it, I'm convinced, it happens.. But every time I talk about her to DH, hes just like I really like him... so he can have him, and I think i'll stay home next time

---

she sounds like a real winner!

yeah--totally stay away from that chica....no sense in having to deal with such negativity at all! i hate people like that----just cause you are miserable doesn't mean that i'm gonna be. one of my brother's friends is like that----he's been married for 3 years and him and his wife just don't like each other very much--and i think he got married cause he thought 'that's what you're supposed to do.' so when he sees DH and i - he tells us about how married life is crap and how we should have just stayed single.

i try NOT to hang out with him as much as possible when i'm out with my bro

That would bother me too. As Melissa said, she may have in her way been warning you, but that is not the right first impression to make, especially if your husbands are trying for all of you to become a social couple. Almost sounds as if there is some cheating going on in their marriage.
I wouldn't want to socialize with this couple either.

A lot of spouses cheat, and it is not just cops. DH is a bus operator, and I know of a lot of the guys that have cheated and whose marriages have broken up. DH and his bus operator friends started hanging out with some of the new female employees that were transferred from other depots. They would have lunch together and go out for happy hour. I met these women at one of the happy hours. I had a chat with FH (at the time) explaining that I didn't like this, while I do trust HIM, I didn't trust the women. They were just being too familiar with he guys. Maybe I was just jealous, but DH needed to understand how I feel.
Needless to say, the other wives felt the same way I did, and this socializing doesn't happen any more.
I love my husband and I trust him, but when the bond of trust is broken, it usually cannot be put back together.