OMG-funniest thing I heard in Court this week

So, as punishment for taking vacation, we were tortured in Court with tons of new cases.

We get this new neglect case in (my bureau couldn't be on it, so I just read the petition, almost puked, then almost died laughing)

Sad part-another positive tox baby. Mom and baby tested positive for cocaine. CPS brought this in yesterday afternoon to remove the child. Mom claims that she did not actually DO the cocaine (as in snorting or injecting), but tested positive because she performed fellatio on her boyfriend who put cocaine on his private part.

So, she shows up in court with this scummy looking guy and the County mentions that he should be assigned an attorney and a neglect should be brought against him as well for cocaine use.

Upon hearing this, mom states, 'Yes, he is the baby's father, but he wasn't the one who put the cocaine on his pee pee-it was my BOYFRIEND!'

Well, the plot thickens-she was really upset because the court 'outed' her and now this guy knows she is cheating. Sad that her baby is being taken away, but she is more worried about the fact that he knows she is cheating on him! And it gets better-she is married to yet another man!

Ahh, another day in Family Court!