question for girls who had rehearsal dinners

Future Mrs. Posted: Oct 04, 2007 04:35 PM

question for girls who had rehearsal dinners

we are going to a wedding next weekend and my grandmother is insisting that we attend the RD. We were not invited to the RD. I would NEVER go, uninvited. She insists that we don't need an invitation.
Quite frankly, we have no desire to go to the RD. If you had an RD, how did you invite people? Was it by invitation? We got an email about it, but it was just a general announcement about hotel information, activities in the area, etc....not really an invitation. I would assume that an RD would have a formal invitation.

mkc56 Posted: Oct 04, 2007 04:39 PM

Re: question for girls who had rehearsal dinners

We had a rehearsal and we mailed out invitations.

Where are they having it? If it's in a restaurant they're probably required to give a headcount and it might not be OK to just show up, unless you tell them beforehand so they can count you in. If it's at someone's home, it might not be such a big deal.

Kara and Todd Posted: Oct 04, 2007 04:39 PM

Re: question for girls who had rehearsal dinners

ONLY by invitation. ALWAYS!

I'd have been mortified if people showed up to our RD uninvited!

Are you sure she wasn't invited verbally? Some people don't send out invites (though most do)... If not invited at all, how do you even know where / when. Please don't show up uninvited.

portjeffbride Posted: Oct 04, 2007 04:40 PM

Re: question for girls who had rehearsal dinners

I had an informal RD, and I invited people verbally.... I wouldn't go to one if I wasn't invited either in writing or verbally.... many times, it's in a restaurant where its billed by the place setting... so you wouldn't even have a place to sit w/o an invite.

Future Mrs. Posted: Oct 04, 2007 04:41 PM

Re: question for girls who had rehearsal dinners

I would never show up uninvited. I would NEVER DO THAT.

It is NOT at a restaurant.....its a BBQ style type thing at my Aunt's house. My aunt told my grandmother that we should all come. But the bride/groom did not invite us, and there was no paper invitation.

Maybe I'm being more formal then necessary in my mindset?

Its already decided anyway....we're not going.

mkc56 Posted: Oct 04, 2007 04:55 PM

Re: question for girls who had rehearsal dinners

Ok, sounds like you probably could go. But being cautious is not a bad idea either.

reenielady Posted: Oct 04, 2007 04:55 PM

Re: question for girls who had rehearsal dinners

I sent an email to the people we invited to the RD - if it is an oot wedding many time oot guests are invited. I think it is only very recent people are doing formal invitations - in the past it always has been word of mouth in my family.

werock0709 Posted: Oct 04, 2007 06:00 PM

Re: question for girls who had rehearsal dinners

I would NEVER attend a RD I wasn't invited to!! We sent out invitations to thosewewanted to attend.I believe thats proper ettiquette. But, theOOT guests that were intown, were invited by word of mouth,cause they were here already.

eelharas4700 Posted: Oct 04, 2007 06:20 PM

Re: question for girls who had rehearsal dinners

we had a RD. we invited bridal party, the priest, and that was just about it. word of mouth/email. not formal invitations.we had TONS of oot so my parents had a gathering/bbq for the oot the night before the wedding (night after RD) unless i was personally invited or family i would feel awkward attending the rd uninvited. but thats jmho.

LitBallerinaGirl Posted: Oct 04, 2007 06:23 PM

Re: question for girls who had rehearsal dinners

I had a RD, and we sent out formal invitations to it. Our RD was at a restuarnat though and we had only enough chairs for the number of people who responded yes.

Brian and Marie Posted: Oct 04, 2007 07:06 PM

Re: question for girls who had rehearsal dinners

We sent out formal invitions for our RD.

Good Luck!

ligirlz Posted: Oct 04, 2007 07:26 PM

Re: question for girls who had rehearsal dinners

We sent out invites so we would know how many were attending. It would be poor etiquette to just show up there.

Summer07Bride Posted: Oct 04, 2007 08:15 PM

Re: question for girls who had rehearsal dinners

We invited people by evite . . .very informal

PegaLega Posted: Oct 04, 2007 08:51 PM

Re: question for girls who had rehearsal dinners

We sent out invitations to ours

jtgarsik Posted: Oct 05, 2007 12:18 AM

Re: question for girls who had rehearsal dinners

u definetly would know if u were invited...not everyone sends out formal invites, but u'd definetly be aware of it..no guesses there...

KRISTYRUSSELL Posted: Oct 05, 2007 07:21 AM

Re: question for girls who had rehearsal dinners

We mailed out custom invitations to all the guest invited to the rehersal dinner. I would never ever go unless I was personally invited, the older generation thinks very different about weddings, showers and Rehersal Dinners in every way. We also had a coed Jack and Jill shower and one of my Aunt's was offended because her grandchildren, a set of twins werent invited to our shower, (PS her granddaughter got married last year and just invited all of the extended family, she did this just for money, she dosent even know my family, other then me and my mom. I think that is a disgrace, and very tacky, but anyway, my Aunts thinking was, if they are invited the the wedding then they should be invited to the shower, this is the year 2007, times really changed, get this, the girls couldnt go anyway. In that case we would of had about 100 additional people at our shower, we wanted a more intimate setting with our close friends and it worked out perfect. We ended up with close to 90 people and did it our way. So getting back to your question, yes I would assume an invite would of been sent out for this Rehersal Dinner, but if its an out of state wedding or an upstate wedding, they do things very different and more simple, so maybe give the bride or groom a call and just chat and ask about the RD in general, bring up your grandmother and see where it goes from there. Good luck, Im sure it will all work out.

TnOiOnL Posted: Oct 05, 2007 08:12 AM

Re: question for girls who had rehearsal dinners

don't go! your grandma is adorable, but the RD is to REHEARSE only! Typically just the BP, immediate family, and anyone involved in the ceremony should be there. And etiquette says to invite OOTers as well.

We personally did give out formal invites but alot of the time it's just word of mouth

Kara and Todd Posted: Oct 05, 2007 08:22 AM

Re: question for girls who had rehearsal dinners

Even in this situation, I would NOT go. That's not really an invite. It's nice that the person having the party at their house said 'Sure, c'mon over' -- but the reality is that, if the couple didn't invite you, I don't think it's proper to go.

ChrisnAmy Posted: Oct 05, 2007 08:27 AM

Re: question for girls who had rehearsal dinners

I wanted it at a nice restaurant....but not my husband.

He kept on inviting People....so We had the rehearsal dinner at our house....not Exactly glamorous.....but It worked for us.

I think the Rule is.....if you have to travel to a wedding...than you are suppose to be invited to the rehearsal dinner.