So I've been married for 17 days....

jessamyn78 Posted: Jul 28, 2008 12:02 PM

So I've been married for 17 days....

... and everyone feels the need to give me advice on babies. Like, I'm 30, so I shouldn't wait too long. How many are we having? Have we thought of names? This is not just family, from random people too, like my manicure lady.

We kind of are just going with the flow. I need to find a new job first, then I need to get settled there. I find myself explaining our situation to everyone.

Dee0522 Posted: Jul 28, 2008 12:09 PM

Re: So I've been married for 17 days....

I HATE that this is the natural progression of things... first you get the 'when are you getting engaged' questions... then you get 'have you set a wedding date yet'... then, inevitably, it's 'when are you going to start a family'... sometimes I feel like yelling out MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! When it happens, you'll know!! lol

SoonToBeMrsScott Posted: Jul 28, 2008 12:16 PM

Re: So I've been married for 17 days....

I hate that as soon as you get married everyone expects babies I am not in a rush for children I just want to enjoy mt time with my husband travel and get to know each other better

roan126 Posted: Jul 28, 2008 12:18 PM

Re: So I've been married for 17 days....

I just tell people that we've decided not to have kids...its shuts them up real quick.

So I went to the dentist last week, he knows I just got married. As soon as I get there he's like, 'Are you pregnant?' I just kind of glared at him like, excuse me? Then the hygenist is like, 'oh, he needs to know for the X-rays.'

So of course, 2 minutes later when he has me in the chair, the first question out of his mouth is 'so, are you going to have kids'?

bonch20 Posted: Jul 28, 2008 01:06 PM

Re: So I've been married for 17 days....

i totally here you! it's getting sooooooo annoying! hello, can't we just enjoy being newlyweds???

DCW 2008 Posted: Jul 28, 2008 02:05 PM

Re: So I've been married for 17 days....

I hate that question.
I have been asked this by many people. People even tell me that my biological clock is ticking.
My response to them is, my DH wants to wait a year and travel. Our original plan before we got married was to try have kids right away, but my DH changed his mind on the HM.

So when his family says something to me, I tell them to talk to my Husband.
This comment makes everyone

Summer07Bride Posted: Jul 28, 2008 02:09 PM

Re: So I've been married for 17 days....

I guess I am in the minority, but people never ask me and if they do bring up kids they always tell me to wait.

PeteysBride Posted: Jul 28, 2008 02:29 PM

Re: So I've been married for 17 days....

I feel your pain. I went on a rant about this a week or so ago. I am 27 and Dh is 33 but people act like we're geriatric and should have kids yesterday because 'the plumbing' wont work soon. we're doing out best to smile, nod and give the blah blah hand gestures. Don't let it get to you. I think people just get so excited about babies they forget the old adage about minding your own business.

TheFutureMrsM Posted: Jul 28, 2008 02:34 PM

Re: So I've been married for 17 days....

I think i just made it clear to everyone, that we are waiting...indefinitely

rmsgirl Posted: Jul 28, 2008 02:57 PM

Re: So I've been married for 17 days....

I feel your pain. We've JUST started telling people that we are expecting in January. Already people are wondering when we're going to try for #2.

Umm, hello?!?!?!?! Can I worry about this one first?

It is human nature, everyone jumps from one milestone to the next. You just need a few snappy comebacks for people who really cross the line.

MrsD71208 Posted: Jul 28, 2008 04:44 PM

Re: So I've been married for 17 days....

Geez, it's annoying, r ight? I've had a few questions too and we only 16 days into our marriage! I want a puppy....leave me alone lol

MushesGirl Posted: Jul 28, 2008 06:21 PM

Re: So I've been married for 17 days....

most of our close friends know we dont want kids so they dont ask; but acquaintances and work people all ask. I used to just say not yet, too soon; but now i'm fed up with it and i just tell them straight out 'we dont want any; we love our bunny like a son' they just look at me like i have 2 heads, which is fine with me

jenlen Posted: Jul 28, 2008 06:26 PM

Re: So I've been married for 17 days....

It's okay... When I told people I was preggo, I got the, 'Already? You just got married' and the 'Weren't you taking the pill?' type questions. You can't win either way.

GothBride55 Posted: Jul 28, 2008 06:27 PM

Re: So I've been married for 17 days....

Everyone is waiting for us to pop out a demon.
I wouldn't be surprised if my Mom has our phones tapped.

JennNicole Posted: Jul 28, 2008 07:28 PM

Re: So I've been married for 17 days....

this question happened on the day of our wedding give me a break

infact the question always comes up ..and I get real annoyed and feel like this all the time..

It does not help that my DH is anxious too but he goes on my program for the most part.

I don't think people realize how rude they sound including family when they say something to you about it. It is really in poor taste. Not to mention them reminding us that my eggs are getting old and his sperm are slow swimmers

Espo22 Posted: Jul 28, 2008 07:56 PM

Re: So I've been married for 17 days....

Posted by Summer07Bride

I guess I am in the minority, but people never ask me and if they do bring up kids they always tell me to wait.

its weird but people dont really bring it up to us either. I know MIL is dying for a grandchild, and when i joked with her and said 'so are you praying yet for the grandchild'(i know how she is hahaha) she said no not yet, first she is praying that we get all the other things settled in our lives right now and then she'll start praying. I mention to her we might wait around 2 years and she does make a face like NO lol.

Other than that, our friends dont mention it and neither do our families. Maybe its bc we just got married, im sure after a while ppl will start asking us

i do have to say that its so rude to ask this question. Especially if a couple has been married for months, a year or more. I had to tell DH a while ago to NEVER ask this question again. He once asked his close friends who are married, how the baby making is going he knew they wanted to have a 2nd baby. Of course she was having difficulty getting pregnant and had a miscarriage which she told us when he asked. After i told him that he BETTER never ask this question again. He obviously didnt mean it and was excited for them that they said they wanted to start trying for a 2nd baby. I just had to explain to him that its not that easy and couples go through alot sometimes so when somebody asks they have no clue if the couple might actually be trying and going through a hard time and only frustrates them more when everybody keeps asking.

My friends bf did the same thing and the couple was trying for 8 months...he also didnt mean it in a bad way but asked them 'when are you guys going to have a baby already' she had to yell at him after bc the wife had told her she was real sad that they've been trying for 8 months.

snwb08 Posted: Jul 28, 2008 09:27 PM

Re: So I've been married for 17 days....

Posted by Espo22

Posted by Summer07Bride

I guess I am in the minority, but people never ask me and if they do bring up kids they always tell me to wait.

its weird but people dont really bring it up to us either. I know MIL is dying for a grandchild, and when i joked with her and said 'so are you praying yet for the grandchild'(i know how she is hahaha) she said no not yet, first she is praying that we get all the other things settled in our lives right now and then she'll start praying. I mention to her we might wait around 2 years and she does make a face like NO lol.

Other than that, our friends dont mention it and neither do our families. Maybe its bc we just got married, im sure after a while ppl will start asking us

i do have to say that its so rude to ask this question. Especially if a couple has been married for months, a year or more. I had to tell DH a while ago to NEVER ask this question again. He once asked his close friends who are married, how the baby making is going he knew they wanted to have a 2nd baby. Of course she was having difficulty getting pregnant and had a miscarriage which she told us when he asked. After i told him that he BETTER never ask this question again. He obviously didnt mean it and was excited for them that they said they wanted to start trying for a 2nd baby. I just had to explain to him that its not that easy and couples go through alot sometimes so when somebody asks they have no clue if the couple might actually be trying and going through a hard time and only frustrates them more when everybody keeps asking.

My friends bf did the same thing and the couple was trying for 8 months...he also didnt mean it in a bad way but asked them 'when are you guys going to have a baby already' she had to yell at him after bc the wife had told her she was real sad that they've been trying for 8 months.

ITA with you; my sister had MAJOR problems and went through a ton to have her son and I'm very sensitive to this question as well; I would never ask people that. And when people ask me (usually the nosy secretaries at work, my family knows better) I stare at them point blank and am like how do you know I can even have kids? This usually - but not always - shuts them up.

It drives me crazy because I always think of my poor sister who wanted and should have had like 8 kids and had to struggle to just have the one. People don't realize how hard it is.