I spent like fifty hours in Borders the other day just browsing. I came across a book called something like -How to be a woman that a man will marry. Something along those lines. Then I heard a news story recently about how there are so many more women than men...and how women should head out West to find marriage material....(nonsense of course, but a funny news item nonetheless). Not to mention that my two best friends recently broke off 5 year relationships to the men they were 'supposed to marry' and are now SO Sex and the City - reaching 35 and single, etc.
ANYWAY. JUST FOR FUN. And don't anybody respond and say - 'I don't think that anything I did blah blah, and my husband would have married me no matter what and blah blah, or he loves me for who I am blah blah'
I am looking for the REAL DEAL SECRETS HERE! And of course.....just for fun. You won't be held to them, and we all know we are just super fantastic ladies that honestly no guy would have passed up!
What would be your 'tip' of the trade if you had been interviewed for this book and knew you'd be anonymous. What made you heads above the rest? Because you WERE. You're a newlywed after all!
Mine: Work for him. He'll never be able to re-pay you for standing by his side through thick and thin. And you'll be indispensable eventually, and he'll have no other option but to learn the 'real' you and show you the 'real' him. You work together - raw and unedited! The closeness that develops over sharing that kind of daily stress is major....
Sassy
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Re: So...What's your Secret.....
Very good ladies........
As for me, DH said he LOVED that I was independent, didn't need him and didn't want to get 'attached' right away.
Well, I WAS independent, I didn't need him, I was always out clubbing, etc. . But I did have the master plan to make him mine. He just didn't know it
But he also said I was all these things while still being affectionate and making him feel like a man.
So I think being independent yet sweet at the same time works well
jlf41
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Re: So...What's your Secret.....
Have your own life, separate from your couple life. Very important!
Be yourself from the beginning- don't mince words or hide your 'flaws' because they are going to come out eventually.
Compliment him sincerely.
Claud2001
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Re: So...What's your Secret.....
Jenny, this question is too funny! I can't tell you how many of these 'rules' I broke when I met my hubby, and everything happened like a storybook for us....hmmm, guess the 'rules' don't apply for everyone, huh?
I actually have 101 Secrets...seriously...when Jeff and I started dating, we were long distance. So, we spent alot of time emailing and talking on the phone. Very early in our relationship, Jeff sent me an email entitled '101 Reasons Why I Love Claudine' I WISH I knew where to find this email...but, essentially, it was made up of things that he found endearing about me...like 'I know where to hit the ketchup bottle' and a little thing my Mom told him I used to say as a little girl....it's silly really, but he actually came up with 101 Reasons!
I love my hubby We met 5 years ago TODAY!
Stacey1403
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Re: So...What's your Secret.....
Posted by Sonicstef
.
- Dont sleep with a guy too soon unless you are really, really good (or he is really, realy inexperienced and wont know any better)
- Dont be too freaky in bed right away. Let him think that he 'taught' you things. No man wants to think that his wife knows tricks that she learned from other guys.
I would agree with making him laugh!!
We were friends first and he didn't want to 'ruin' our friendship but had no problem sleeping with me
So my advice would be let him see you kissing another boy That really changes their tune
kmcwed
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Re: So...What's your Secret.....
In my case, it was the opposite. My DH said he loved being with me because there were no games involved. We liked each other, we called each other, went out, and didn't follow anyone's rules but our own.
As far as not sleeping with them too soon... It didn't make a difference for us! Fourth date's a charm!
ChristineC68
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Re: So...What's your Secret.....
Posted by Sonicstef
This is so important. Never say i love you first. That is the kiss of death!
A friend of mine did this and her boyfriend said 'Thank you'
They're married now
DH said I just basically gave him space while not being unavailable.
Wendy
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Re: So...What's your Secret.....
We were friends first. I was independent and had my own life apart from his (very important..you have to keep your own identity always!).
However I asked him what THE thing was that clinched it and he told me that he knew with me life would always be'Interesting'!!! I asked him if he knew that the Chinese curse you by saying 'May you lead an interesting life' and he just laughed! I also took an interest in his passions (photography and airplanes) and learn about them so that we could share.
Edited to add: I said I love you first. He didn't say it until about 3 weeks later. I was sweating that one!
natasha
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Re: So...What's your Secret.....
I have to say that thes etips are excellent for our single GF out there. However, I think a woman becomes a wife when a man is ready to leave the single life behind and settle down. I think its important to be with a man at time of his life.
I think I became the one because my DH was at that stage -- he says he admired and fell in love with me because I was intelligent, independent, and fun to be with. He also liked the fact that we were so different, yet so alike.
HappyEverAfter
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Re: So...What's your Secret.....
My secret is I let him get really far on the first date
Seriously, DH and I met when we were pretty young, so I did not do any of the rules as I was not looking for a serious relationship. I guess my 'secret' is that I loved him openly and honestly from the first, as a friend first then as a partner. I still see it this way, he is my very best friend and I try to always remember that-if we are fighting, I will ask myself if I would call my best (female) friend an as*hole because she left her socks all over mt apartment and try to treat him with the same respect - although that doesnt always work (damn socks everywhere makes me nuts)
I also stuck in there through all the hard and very hard times, when he had no time, money or energy for me. I find a lot of my single friends bail out rather early in relationships. I stuck it out when a lot of my friends told me I was nuts, but I knew this man was amazing and worth it. And he is
nrvbrd
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Re: So...What's your Secret.....
hmichick-
I was the same way. My friends thought I was nuts for staying with DH for all of these years. They also would have bailed, but you know what these women STILL do not have a steady relationship and at 30 something are still 'dating' and 'trying to find the one'
TrayLu47
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Re: So...What's your Secret.....
We got to know each other as friends first!
He said I'm adventurous, fun, funny and out going. He loves the way I can cook him a scrumptious meal with little effort in no time!He said I made him feel at peace when we were together.
When we started dating we didn't get intimate for quite a while! I made him wait!
charliesgirl
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Re: So...What's your Secret.....
I think my secret would be to be as independent as you can be.
Also another thing that my husband loves is that make him lunch. He loves it and it makes him happy when he opens up lunch. Its the little things.
lilmrs
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Re: So...What's your Secret.....
I agree on the I love you part, Darren said it to me first and it really fealt more special to me (I admit I have said it first in past relationships)
When we first started dating, I did not drop my life when he called or wanted to do something. I did have a life of my own and was getting ready to go to my fire island house for the summer. Because my parents lived on thier boat for the summer and went back and forth a lot, I think he thought I would always coming back to hang with him.
I know how to make him laugh. This is one thing that was pointed out to us by our bridal party. No matter what is going on, or what kind of mood each of us might be in, we know what to do to make the other person laugh.
I hate the Ilove you rule...I had to wait 10 months...so thank goodness I didn't comply with the don't sleep with him until he says it rule
I was 'rejected/dumped' the night before I met DH - so I didn't take any crap...I was a little bitter and pretty aloof...it wasn't my plan...but it worked...
but I don't think it will work with all guys....some want to be paid attention too...
gpsyeyes
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Re: So...What's your Secret.....
i think my dh loves me just for being open and honest from the start - about everything! no games, no bs, just me. He knew that i was sincere and would support him no matter what. I took on his two children and him with open arms and heart. We have been though a lot in the last four years, including him being on strike since last august (plum island). We keep an open line of communication and we laugh! we also know that when it comes down to it - we can only rely on each other and we do. He always tells me that he never knew anyone who without hesitation will be there no matter what happens and is so kind. He treats me with respect and i do the same. We know what we want from each other and we love each other unconditionally. Its not really any 'secret' but i think women and men need to treat each other how they want to be treated and let each other know what they want and how they expect to be treated, and that goes to every aspect of the relationship!
