Do any of you have friends who seem to be trying to 'keep up with the Joneses' or who make sure to tell you about every achievement or every expensive purchase they make? Or some who ask you questions that are only geared toward being able to measure how you are doing financially.
Sometimes I feel like my friends are 2 extremes--the ones who have absolutely no need, mentally, to act that way and the ones who do this stuff all the time.
JanuaryBride06
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Re: speaking of jealousy
I, too, have friends at both extremes. I have one friend who is always talking about how much she's spent - on a car, furniture, renovations, etc. I call it 'talking in G's' b/c she refers to $1000 as a 'G'. I love her to pieces and I know that she thinks nothing of discussing these things; I just don't feel the need to share that info or to 'keep up' w/ anyone. My ilfe isn't a race
kathrynlinton
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Re: speaking of jealousy
DH has a friend who has to tell him every dollar he spends, especially if it is something outragous! They just had a party for their son's 3rd birthday and it was $4k!!!
Meanwhile, they live with his MIL and he doesn't even pay his own cell phone bill.
Holy priorities batman!!
Goldi1021
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Re: speaking of jealousy
I dont have friends like that but its funny, I tell people when I save money versus spending it!
PrincessRose
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Re: speaking of jealousy
I have had friends who always try to top you. So if you're doing x, they're doing x +10. ALSO, they can't just let you talk about stuff that's not going so well in your life, because no matter how bad things are going for you, it's going worse for them.
These people are no longer friends.
suven
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.
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ssdbk
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Re: speaking of jealousy
I can relate to all of these answers.
It scares me that with my friends who have kid's it becomes worse.
greenfreak
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Re: speaking of jealousy
Not so much my friends but my sisters compete with each other. Their husbands do the same job in the same union, so it's not hard to draw comparisons.
People in my family have always felt free to ask how much everything costs; no matter what it is. I remember when we moved into this apartment and they asked what the rent was. I told them and they FREAKED. I usually keep my cool with everyone but had finally had enough and turned on them. Reminded them how old I was and if they're going to react this way, they can expect that they next time they ask, they will not get an answer.
butterfly20
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Re: speaking of jealousy
yes! it is so nutty!
RVCBride
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Re: speaking of jealousy
IMO, people who are constantly bragging are trying to compensate for a void in their life.
ETA: Bragging should not be mistaken with sharing stories of success, achievements, and future plans. You'll know bragging; it's obnoxious, intentional, and pre-meditated.
snowflake
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Re: speaking of jealousy
Absolutely! I had a friend who outright asked me my mortgage payment last week ( we wren't even talking about houses or finances!).
I think most people think they're stuck in low-paying dead-end jobs (even when they're not!) and they want to compate income, houses, ring size, whatever.
When people are that blunt to ask me personal financial situations, I respond with, 'Do I ask you for money?'
'Uh, no,'
'Then don't worry about MY finances until I bring YOU into them!'
JenNeen
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Re: speaking of jealousy
only 1....she tells me what every single thing they buy costs - whether it was hugely expensive or a complete bargain. I dont think she is showing off - I think she just likes to talk $.
But, the absolute best is...she must have told me her husband's salary 1000x - she's lucky enough to be 'retired'. I always just shake my head and laugh inside.
mbm750
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Re: speaking of jealousy
Posted by suven
I actually worry about BEING those people. On our own, DH and I earn more than the couples whom were are friends with.
I'm always VERY careful about sharing numbers. But, I find that they are always telling us how much they make, how much their house was, etc. So, I feel weird staying quiet. It's a weird situation to be in.
This happens to me too - I hope they don't think of me that way just for participating in these types of discussions because I really go out of my way to avoid anything that might seem like bragging or like I'm trying to keep up with the Joneses. And I never bring up the topic, but it's weird to be the quiet one all the time, so sometimes you do have to participate and hope people don't misinterpret you.
ssdbk
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Re: speaking of jealousy
I'm a lawyer and I'm self employed. After I went into practice for myself, some of my other friends did the same thing. Most of us really help each other out. but 1 or 2 of them always try to get the others to talk about how long it to make $$, etc. One of my them has tried to one-up me by telling me that he will be buying nicer office furniture than what I have and that his business cards look better. How effing ridiculous! I was like, 'yeah, but your clients think you're a moron, they never recommend you to their friends and you have no copy machine.' Ok, so by my comment I got sucked into the game but he pulled me right in!!!
AnniesSS
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Re: speaking of jealousy
Posted by PrincessRose
I have had friends who always try to top you. So if you're doing x, they're doing x +10. ALSO, they can't just let you talk about stuff that's not going so well in your life, because no matter how bad things are going for you, it's going worse for them.
These people are no longer friends.
You just described my SIL!!! She does that all the time and it's so dayum annoying! lol
Actually, I just met one of our neighbors for the first time the other evening.... first question out of his mouth, 'So, how much did you pay for the house?' I turned away out of disgust to 'look for my dog' and my DH replied, 'He got close to his asking price' I just couldn't believe that these people could be so RUDE to ask this question!! lol
hsacks23r
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Re: speaking of jealousy
not so much friends but family...we got a new truck now my couisn is looking into getting one of the most expensive suvs you can get she had to put her name a list....and its just her no kids or aynything...well to each is own
