Splitting The Holidays..

DH and I just got in to a big fight about where we are going to go for Christmas this year. I have never been away from my family for Christmas and it just hurts.


How do you girls handle the holidays?

DH's family lives in upstate NY and mine live on LI so it's not like we can spend the day with both...

It just s u c k s

Im sorry about your fight.....

I kind of have it easy.....My family (italian) has a really big christmas eve and my in laws really dont do anything so we go to my parents on christmas eve and then christmas day we stay with his parents and maybe sometimes go back to my parents......

I hope you can work it all out

Awww honey I'm so sorry!!

I'm dreading this too. It's sooo hard being away from the family on xmas...Brett knows that because of the kids I'd never want to be away, but yet he's torn because we're all his parents have. So I feel guilty about that too.

There's always that give and take and sacrifice...it's tough. Maybe you guys can come up with some kind of rotating system of where you spend xmas? Or compromise by going to his family the day after xmas? Or spending xmas eve with your family and xmas with his?

I'm sorry honey

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way!

I also hate splitting the holidays, but in our 7 years of dating we've had to learn to compromise! For thanksgiving, we alternate years.... and for Christmas, we spend Christmas Eve with his family, and Christmas Day with mine.

I'm sure you can work it out! It stinks not being able to be with your family, but right now you've got to put your husband first.... just find a happy compromise.

DH and I had the same issue on Monday night about spending the holidays with which family. I hate the idea of being away from my family so we have worked out the idea of spending Thanksgiving here in Cincinnati with his family and then for Christmas we will spend it here in Cincinnati with his family but fly down to Florida Christmas night or early the next morning to celebrate Christmas with my family. This is going to work out best since all of the siblings will be way from Mom and Dad on Christmas Day but we are all planning to be together the next day.

I hope you two can figure something out.

so funny.....I just posted about this. Its an ongoing source of contention.
This is very, very hard. Its hard to go to DH family for a holiday, and not miss my own.

We made the arrangement up that every other holiday, every other year, will be spent with a different family.

My parents are divorced, so that is 2 families. THen his family. Everyone lives all over the place....

SO, this year it's Passover w/ my Mom's family, HIgh Holiday's with my Dad's, and Thansgiving with His Mom.
Next year, it will rotate.

ITs hard to compromise on certain things......I understand where you are coming from!!!!!!!!!

Our decision was pretty easy:

Thanksgiving in LI b/c DH and his friends play in the 'Turkey Bowl' football game every T-giving day (imagine a bunch of late 20s guys pretending like they're in the NFL).

Christmas in VA with my family...except this year when we hope to be on our honeymoon! Luckily my family understands!

this is a tough one.... ...last year we spend thanksgiving at his parents...easter at mine and christmas eve at his grandmas and christmas day at my parents...so i guess this year we will swap thanksgiving and easter but christmas will always stay the same...but i think figuring out mother's day and father's day is more of a problem...any ideas ladies

Thank you so much ladies for your advice. I'm sorry that some of you have had the same problem..it really stinks

We are going to sit down and come up with some kind of a schedule tonight..it's such a drama because DH's mother is very demanding and freaked out on us when we spent christmas with my family last year..I can't wait to see how she reacts to our Thanksgiving plans

This was the first year I spent Xmas away from my family, and I'll admit it just wasn't the same. But we have to compromise on some things and it's important for DH to be with his family for the holidays too. This is what we do:

Every Xmas Eve we have dinner at my mom's, DH's daughter is with her mom.
Xmas morning we pick up DH's daughter and we go to my mom's to open gifts.

Then every other year we alternate, either we go to my aunt's to open presents with the rest of my family or we go to DH's aunt's to open presents with his family.

We figure, when we have a baby, we'll just have everyone over to our house.

for us, thanksgiving is pretty easy -- our families live practically downt he street from each other, so we have dinner at one family's house and dessert at the other.

Christmas is rough though. Chris' mom's side is italian and his aunts always host a big christmas eve thing. But in my family, my mom always hosts christmas eve. Christmas day is easy because my family doesnt do anything, so we always see Chris' dad's side of the family for christmas day. But we can never agree on christmas eve -- my family or his? We should see my family because on christmas day we see one side of his family. But then, that means we're always missing the other side of his family. I dont know how to make it fair.

Oh, and the other thing is....my family doesnt do anything for easter. So theres another holiday that we spend with his family.

Its hard splitting the holidays....it really is. You almost feel like you're being disloyal to one of the families

His Family lives on the West Coast!
And he hates to travel during the holidays.
So, I luck out and we spend all the holiday's with my Family!!!

Yipee for me!

For us it hasn't been too bad because we lived a town apart from each other so for Thanksgiving we usually did dinner at one house dessert at the other. Then for Christmas Eve, we'd usually spend the beginning half with my family because it's my mom's birthday too, and then the nightime with his family. Then on Christmas, I'd spend the morning with my family and then go to his house for the rest of the day.

This year, we will be hosting Thanksgiving and maybe Christmas Day too. We're not sure yet. That way it solves the problem of splitting the families!