DH and I got back from our HM recently, so tonight we sat down to open our wedding presents and cards. After going thru everything, we realized that we didn't get a card/gift from a set of our closest friends. Everyone else in our group gave a card/gift and we know they all talk before weddings so they all give the same amount (we have done the same thing with this group in the past for other weddings and the drill is always the same...). We really don't think they didn't give us something, and so we are very worried that we are missing an envelope. BUT what if they just didn't give us one and decided for whatever reason to send it later? We think we should mention something just in case they need to cancel a check but we are sort of afraid to say something just in case they actually didn't give us something for some reason. How would you handle this? If you think I should say something, what should I say so it doesn't seem like I am fishing for a present but I am sort of concerned that it was lost?
sophisticat13
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Re: sticky situation with wedding gift... NEED HELP!
Hmmm that's a tough one. There are a few ways you can handle it...1) you can wait and send them a thank you card for coming and not mention a gift and see if they say anything; if they gave you something they might say something to you by then, esp if it was a check and it wasn't cashed by then; 2) you can call them and say that you are missing some cards that people told you they gave you and say that you aren;t sure if theirs was misplaced; or 3) Have a close friend intervene and ask them for you (may be awkward for your friend though!!!!) Or maybe a friend will offer to ask for you. :) This happened to me and a mutual friend actually offered to find out for me what happened. Turns out that he gave a gift and thought he put it in the cardbox but didn't...he gave me a new card and gift when we saw him again which was really sweet of him. GL and HTH
RadiantBride
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Re: sticky situation with wedding gift... NEED HELP!
I went through something similar. In conversation with them you can mention that you think you might be missing some envelopes and are concerned that your guests might not know if to cash the check or not. Hopefully they take the bait and ask 'did you get my card?' and you can use that opportunity to let them know that you didnt. If they dont mention anything and look uncomfortable then they probably didnt bring in a card.
TommysWife08
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Re: sticky situation with wedding gift... NEED HELP!
honestly, if they are that good of a friend, i would talk open and honestly with them... i know that MY friends wouldnt be upset if i said 'hey we didnt see a card from you, just wondering if we lost it' if they didnt give us a gift, THEY should be open and honest with YOU also... thats what good friends do!!
good luck!
futuremrsfab
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Re: sticky situation with wedding gift... NEED HELP!
Posted by RadiantBride
I went through something similar. In conversation with them you can mention that you think you might be missing some envelopes and are concerned that your guests might not know if to cash the check or not. Hopefully they take the bait and ask 'did you get my card?' and you can use that opportunity to let them know that you didnt. If they dont mention anything and look uncomfortable then they probably didnt bring in a card.
I think this is the best non-confrontational approach- in case they didnt send something, they can save face on this one
RadiantBride
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Re: sticky situation with wedding gift... NEED HELP!
Posted by futuremrsfab
Posted by RadiantBride
I went through something similar. In conversation with them you can mention that you think you might be missing some envelopes and are concerned that your guests might not know if to cash the check or not. Hopefully they take the bait and ask 'did you get my card?' and you can use that opportunity to let them know that you didnt. If they dont mention anything and look uncomfortable then they probably didnt bring in a card.
I think this is the best non-confrontational approach- in case they didnt send something, they can save face on this one
Unfortunately I had to use this line a lot. People genuinely were honest with 'hey I forgot the card at home, or no dont worry we couldn't get you anything' It was best to know bc I was really freaking out.
