Still mad about Valentine's Day...

Firstly, TELL HIM YOU ARE PISSED!!! Don't stew about it.

I have found the only way to avoid being disappointed is to tell DH EXACTLY what I want or the minimum I expect.

It may sound boring and where's the surprise, but it works for us.


Congrats on the doctoral program!!

Ohhhhhhhh I KNOW how you feel. DH thinks the whole courting thing is over because he's 'got me' now
So I'm like, 'ok, so you're saying the longer we're together, the crappier you'll treat me?' IMO it should be the opposite.
I continue to treat him just as good as when we first met, if not better.

I've told DH many, many times that it would make me so happy if he would surprise me with flowers every now and then (I loooovvvve flowers). In the 3+ years that I've known him he's done it maybe 4 times.
I make dinner 4 - 5 times a week, so I don't think it's a lot to ask for him to go to the florist's on the way home from work and pick up some flowers for me every once in a while!

And how in the world could he screw up on Valentine's Day? I mean JEEZ! Wake up!!!!
Some men are so clueless. Valentine's Day......HELLLOOOOO!!!!!!

Don't get me wrong - he makes me incredibly happy in so many ways, but I just would like to know every now and then that all the things that I do for him are appreciated. He does thank me for my great cooking, but actions speak louder than words!

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Posted by wc0143

I have found the only way to avoid being disappointed is to tell DH EXACTLY what I want or the minimum I expect.

It may sound boring and where's the surprise, but it works for us.


Congrats on the doctoral program!!

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Sadly, this is what I have to do sometimes with DH. I would much rather it be a surprise though.

And ditto on the doctoral program - congrats!

We went to Atlantic City. I told DH that all I wanted was flowers didn't even have to be roses just flowers and NOTHING. O well BUT I said I am going to buy my own flowers when I go food shopping.

I'm glad I'm not the only one that was disappointed. I so wanted him to send me flowers at work - I even reminded his that I sent flowers to him last year and I would love that. I did get flowers later that night but I wanted something that involved a little more thought. It isn't just for Valentines' Day - I always try to think of some fun surprise for him - like tomorrow, a sent a big birthday cake to his secretary so everyone would know it was his birthday.

Congratulations on your acceptance!!!

Congrats Beth on being accepted into the program!! Sorry your valentines day wasn't the best!! Definitely talk to him!!

Denise

First of all Beth - congrats on your achievement

As for V-Day, I can totally understand your disappointment. Its just SO easy for our men to go out there, buy some nice flowers (they don't even have to be , its more the thought that counts) get a box of chocolates, etc. I mean how can they even ESCAPE V-Day, its all over the place, on every street corner, every store, yadda yadad!!!

DH and I had already agreed not to go 'all out' for V-Day this year -- we are truly trying to save for a house, want to start a family, and I just honestly don't need anything, esp more jewelry and such. So I was pretty shocked when he came home with a lovely bo-k of pink and red roses, and I was very content . Actually the 'to my wife' cards meant more to me than any gift could because I'm a sap like that

That said - I do feel like Wendy said that you need to sit down with your hubby and TELL HIIM STRAIGHT OUT what is bothering you. Men don't get 'subtlety' - they need is all s-p-e-l-l-e-d o-u-t for them (My husband even told me as much, this is how I know firsthand how clueless they are )

I also must say that I've seen a SIGNIFICANT 'slacking off' on the sweet, romantic gestures of our dating days since we've been married - its as if there is no effort made to 'woo' me anymore, which makes me actually miss DATING him! Sure I know our relationship is secure and solid and my husband loves me, but I truly do miss the romantic little gestures here and there - he was truly such a sweetie when were dating And I've told him as much, but not sure its really sunk in

I hope it gets better! And I don't blame you for being a little sad about your 1st married V-Day. You don't deserve to feel neglected, and just let DH know that and maybe it'll knock some sense into him!

I always tell DH what I want.... This year I told him I wanted something with diamonds...and I got a necklace..

you need to tell him!!! I got a card for V-day too...but we have a reason for it.

Our 1 year is around the corner...you know where he wanted to go to dinner 'all dressed up'...OLIVE GARDEN!!!!

I said Can't we go to a nicer restaurant than that??? We only have one First Anniversary

AM I the only one that didn't get wooed with gifts & flowres when we were dating?
It took 5 years for DH to figure out what kinds of gifts I like.
He worries too much about not getting the right thing. He is getting much netter. I tell him not to worry so much, I had NO pronlem return the watch he bought me for my birtday & gettign one I liked better. I did reinforce that I liked that he bought be a watch, b/c I needed one.

DH isn't a romantic.
He is too practical for that.
At this point I am fine with that, which makes gift giving more realzed. I dont' really have high expectations.

I LOVE my Back to the Future DVDs. He did ask me if it was ok, to buy me a fun present instead of a romantic one.

Now I am working on getting him to be spontaneous, you know, flowers for no reason, etc.

And by working on, I mean, saying it repeatedly. Felicia is right. . .it needs to be spelled out.

We did get each other gifts this year but the flowers, candy and card thing didn't happen..I was disappointed. No dinner either. I know how you feel. He's done this before and I just can't fight it. I would definitely tell him about it though.


No diamonds though.

I don't like to be all doted on on Valentine's Day - and he knows it. It seems very forced to me. And more unoriginal.

And a lot of guys hate Valentine's Day. They don't like to be pressured to do anything, even if they want to do it. Kinda like proposing marriage - men run away from the women that push. Or they have bitter memories of the single days...

I'll take skipping on VDay over getting flowers on any other random day anytime.

But if the random expressions of love don't come either, then speak up.

Just my opinion.

First of all, CONGRATULATIONS on getting into a doctoral program. That is a huge achievement!

Second, I am sorry that you hubby is not showing his romantic side. He needs to understand where you are coming from....

I feel you have every right to be mad. I hope he gets it soon, and makes up for his mistakes.

Being a wife is tough work!

Thanks everybody! I certainly made it clear that next time I want my flowers (and chocolate and jewelry!) so let's see if he gets the hint. He did say he would surprise me some random times to make up for it. I guess circling the roses in the ad. wasn't enough to clue him in to what I wanted (men are DENSE!).

I prefer the term 'brain damaged'

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Posted by nov04LIbride

(men are DENSE!).

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Actually I prefer to say we have 'selective hearing / attention span'.

But in all seriousness... i kinda blew my first v-day with my FW. But don't worry... i made it up to her the last two years and she has been quite happy since. I am sure your man will do the same.

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Posted by DjPiLL

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Posted by nov04LIbride

(men are DENSE!).

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Actually I prefer to say we have 'selective hearing / attention span'.

But in all seriousness... i kinda blew my first v-day with my FW. But don't worry... i made it up to her the last two years and she has been quite happy since. I am sure your man will do the same.

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What was weird, though, was how overboard he went when we were dating. I got flowers, jewelry from Tiffany's, Godiva...What made me sad was this was our first married one, and when I felt I should be most appreciated for all I have done. Thanks for the words of advice though, I do hope he makes it up to me!

Congratulations on being accepted to the doctorate program. I'm sorry about what happened with Valentine's Day.