Post New Topic

Story of the Day: Thursday

PeteysBride Posted:

Story of the Day: Thursday

I HURT! Aside from going to the gym two days in a row and kicking my own @ss like Jim carey in Liar Liar, I have other reasons for aches and pain.... Here is our story of the day...

My tetanus shot arm is killing me. Obviously part of it is due to the shot but the other part is due to a funny story.

Yesterday, like the FORK that I am, I wore a blouse thats cotton and fitted. Goes over the head with a zipper up the left side and the back of the boat neck laces. Its really pretty; a brilliant royal blue.

I feel like a million bucks in it, but the issue last night was I couldnt get OUT of it!

So after the drama I decide to go to bed only to realize I CANT LIFT MY ARM!! Literally! I still cant lift it even shoulder high. Its dead. So now..lmao...I ask myself... HOW to undo zipper and laces AND pull it over my head?....

Well I am a trooper. Im a former NuYawker right? We are resilient. I can do this I say. So with one hand I conjure Houdini and the greatest Contortionist of our own time (Marie... HAH I LOVe you! ) and undoe the zipper and the laces! GO ME! Im all happy but I got cocky....

I should have remembered Soddom and Gammora...I didn't.

I go to pull the shirt over my head and pain shoots through LOCKING MY ELBOW. So Iam screaming at 1am and hopping around, managing to scare the hell out of my cat who bolts under my feet.

Now, I got the shirt up high enough so I couldn't see, but it was up higher on the right side (good arm) than the left. So I had the fatal sweater head look going on You know, where you can see down at your feet but not the bus you're about to eat.

I TRIP over my cat and almost go down the stairs. (We live on a walk up-2nd floor of a garden apartment) I catch myself with the bad arm, yowl again, further scare the cat and end up on the floor with one leg (DONT ask me how) through the dam railing, dangling off the landing.

Long story short... The shirt won. I wore it all last night and took it off this morning after a hot shower loosened me up....

I wore a sythentic polyblend today..on the outs with natural fabrics



MrsQ-in2007 Posted:

Re: Story of the Day: Thursday

OMG Jenn! That's sooo funny cuz stuff like that has happened to me before, but never to that extreme! And thank God you didn't really hurt yourself on the steps!!!!

Ay yay yay!
diva7531 Posted:

Re: Story of the Day: Thursday

OMG, you are too funny!!!

I hope you are feeling better today!
cookiemonster Posted:

Re: Story of the Day: Thursday

Can we go back to why you needed this shot in the first place? Were you chewing on rusty cans again? I had to have one about a year ago and it hurt like a MOFO so I know exactly how you feel. I'm also a world class klutz so instead of saying 'how do you get yourself into these situations?' I instead say that you sound exactly like me! Must be the name thing.

Case in point: Not too long ago my doorbell rang and I ran to get it because it was something being delivered (get your minds OUT of the gutter!!). I live in a townhouse and the living room is not on the ground floor, so I go racing to answer the door in my socks, slide down the full flight of carpeted stairs to the ground floor, SLAM into the half-wall at the bottom of the landing, and land partially on my hardwood floor. Completely bruised up my rear. I finally stagger to the door where a very confused-looking person is waiting to give me a package (what did I say about those minds??). I realized after I closed the door that not only was I standing there holding my a$$ the whole time I signed for the stupid thing but he probably also heard me crashing and bouncing and YELLINg the whole way down!

Feel better Jenn!! Didn't mean to hijack your thread with my own spazz-icity!
PeteysBride Posted:

Re: Story of the Day: Thursday

-chuckles- yea..shirt is mocking me from the hamper in NJ..I hear it.

Those stairs are a menace. I told Pete I want to buy a baby gate because the cats run under my feet like crazies and a few times I have almost tumbled right down, trying to avoid them.
PattyK Posted:

Re: Story of the Day: Thursday

I hope that you are feeling better today!!

PeteysBride Posted:

Re: Story of the Day: Thursday


Posted by cookiemonster

Can we go back to why you needed this shot in the first place? Were you chewing on rusty cans again? I had to have one about a year ago and it hurt like a MOFO so I know exactly how you feel. I'm also a world class klutz so instead of saying 'how do you get yourself into these situations?' I instead say that you sound exactly like me! Must be the name thing.

Case in point: Not too long ago my doorbell rang and I ran to get it because it was something being delivered (get your minds OUT of the gutter!!). I live in a townhouse and the living room is not on the ground floor, so I go racing to answer the door in my socks, slide down the full flight of carpeted stairs to the ground floor, SLAM into the half-wall at the bottom of the landing, and land partially on my hardwood floor. Completely bruised up my rear. I finally stagger to the door where a very confused-looking person is waiting to give me a package (what did I say about those minds??). I realized after I closed the door that not only was I standing there holding my a$$ the whole time I signed for the stupid thing but he probably also heard me crashing and bouncing and YELLINg the whole way down!

Feel better Jenn!! Didn't mean to hijack your thread with my own spazz-icity!



LMAO I LOVE that story! Oh please. Hijack away. i post crap to get people to post their own stories. Ive done the @ss grab in front of a stranger thing. LOL Like the other day when I got my underwear (a thong) SOMEHOW WOUND UP in my fishnets....

DONT ask me how. I peed, then went to straighten up and found I couldnt pull my tights up! My underwear was TANGLED through..It took me 15 minutes and praying to every known deity to get it done....

The best part was I cant see cause its tangled in the back so i walk to the mirror and try and look and one of the women from the other offic walks in, blinks I wave with my free hand and say 'Hey how ya doin.'

LMAO she started to walk out then came back and started laughing.
cookiemonster Posted:

Re: Story of the Day: Thursday


Posted by PeteysBride

-chuckles- yea..shirt is mocking me from the hamper in NJ..I hear it.



Like this?
Crap it didn't work! hang on...



PeteysBride Posted:

Re: Story of the Day: Thursday


Posted by cookiemonster


Posted by PeteysBride

-chuckles- yea..shirt is mocking me from the hamper in NJ..I hear it.



Like this?
Crap it didn't work! hang on...




LOL ok.
cookiemonster Posted:

Re: Story of the Day: Thursday


Posted by PeteysBride


Posted by cookiemonster

Can we go back to why you needed this shot in the first place? Were you chewing on rusty cans again? I had to have one about a year ago and it hurt like a MOFO so I know exactly how you feel. I'm also a world class klutz so instead of saying 'how do you get yourself into these situations?' I instead say that you sound exactly like me! Must be the name thing.

Case in point: Not too long ago my doorbell rang and I ran to get it because it was something being delivered (get your minds OUT of the gutter!!). I live in a townhouse and the living room is not on the ground floor, so I go racing to answer the door in my socks, slide down the full flight of carpeted stairs to the ground floor, SLAM into the half-wall at the bottom of the landing, and land partially on my hardwood floor. Completely bruised up my rear. I finally stagger to the door where a very confused-looking person is waiting to give me a package (what did I say about those minds??). I realized after I closed the door that not only was I standing there holding my a$$ the whole time I signed for the stupid thing but he probably also heard me crashing and bouncing and YELLINg the whole way down!

Feel better Jenn!! Didn't mean to hijack your thread with my own spazz-icity!



LMAO I LOVE that story! Oh please. Hijack away. i post crap to get people to post their own stories. Ive done the @ss grab in front of a stranger thing. LOL Like the other day when I got my underwear (a thong) SOMEHOW WOUND UP in my fishnets....

DONT ask me how. I peed, then went to straighten up and found I couldnt pull my tights up! My underwear was TANGLED through..It took me 15 minutes and praying to every known deity to get it done....

The best part was I cant see cause its tangled in the back so i walk to the mirror and try and look and one of the women from the other offic walks in, blinks I wave with my free hand and say 'Hey how ya doin.'

LMAO she started to walk out then came back and started laughing.





I always have underwear issues. Recently I came out of the shower and started getting dressed. It was dark in my room cuz DH was still in bed. I tried to put my undies on and lost my balance and toppled over like a bowling pin. DH hears a giant THUD...grunt and turns on the light to find me on the floor wearing my underwear around my leg.
cookiemonster Posted:

Re: Story of the Day: Thursday


Posted by PeteysBride


Posted by cookiemonster


Posted by PeteysBride

-chuckles- yea..shirt is mocking me from the hamper in NJ..I hear it.



Like this?
Crap it didn't work! hang on...




LOL ok.



Ok I got it - look up.
PeteysBride Posted:

Re: Story of the Day: Thursday


Posted by cookiemonster
I always have underwear issues. Recently I came out of the shower and started getting dressed. It was dark in my room cuz DH was still in bed. I tried to put my undies on and lost my balance and toppled over like a bowling pin. DH hears a giant THUD...grunt and turns on the light to find me on the floor wearing my underwear around my leg.





JERK!

That blue shirt is going to be saved for a future avatar.
cookiemonster Posted:

Re: Story of the Day: Thursday


Posted by PeteysBride

JERK!




PeteysBride Posted:

Re: Story of the Day: Thursday


Posted by cookiemonster


Posted by PeteysBride

JERK!







You and me cook lol. We need to find one day this year..we have a WHOLE YEAR to figure out a day to hang out. You bring the pickles, I will bring the forks!
cookiemonster Posted:

Re: Story of the Day: Thursday


Posted by PeteysBride


Posted by cookiemonster


Posted by PeteysBride

JERK!







You and me cook lol. We need to find one day this year..we have a WHOLE YEAR to figure out a day to hang out. You bring the pickles, I will bring the forks!



I know!!! I was even thinking about how I could get to NY this weekend for the GTG (totally would have been impossible but I really wanted to!). Maybe for the one in Feb if everyone is going. Jess is halfway between us so we could always haul our pickles there assuming she didn't mind and you didn't mind listening to us talk about how much we loved St. John
PeteysBride Posted:

Re: Story of the Day: Thursday


Posted by cookiemonster

I know!!! I was even thinking about how I could get to NY this weekend for the GTG (totally would have been impossible but I really wanted to!). Maybe for the one in Feb if everyone is going. Jess is halfway between us so we could always haul our pickles there assuming she didn't mind and you didn't mind listening to us talk about how much we loved St. John



HAH I keep telling Jess I am going to visit her so I can steal her chair when i need to take a load off. Luv her. We have friends in PA not too far from ehr actually. When we go to see them next month I was going to call and see if she's around. Only problem with a mini GTg would be my Dh would be with me. But he's fun!
cookiemonster Posted:

Re: Story of the Day: Thursday


Posted by PeteysBride


Posted by cookiemonster

I know!!! I was even thinking about how I could get to NY this weekend for the GTG (totally would have been impossible but I really wanted to!). Maybe for the one in Feb if everyone is going. Jess is halfway between us so we could always haul our pickles there assuming she didn't mind and you didn't mind listening to us talk about how much we loved St. John



HAH I keep telling Jess I am going to visit her so I can steal her chair when i need to take a load off. Luv her. We have friends in PA not too far from ehr actually. When we go to see them next month I was going to call and see if she's around. Only problem with a mini GTg would be my Dh would be with me. But he's fun!



I seriously do want to try to come to one of the ones in NY but it would take some work (much more work than going from Suffolk to Queens lol). I'll have to see when it is.
dancerandchef Posted:

Re: Story of the Day: Thursday

Jenn,
So sorry to hear about that. Here are some hugs from us to you. I hope that your arm is feeling better.

~dancer and chef~
charlotte and michael
lilqtpie2181 Posted:

Re: Story of the Day: Thursday

uu poor thing!!!
althoguh i feel bad for u being in pain, while i was reading ur post i have been cracking up just picturing it all going on in my haed.
i think im gonna go out today and buy u a lucky rabbits foot.. it sound like u need some extra good luck lurking around u!.
PeteysBride Posted:

Re: Story of the Day: Thursday


Posted by lilqtpie2181

uu poor thing!!!
althoguh i feel bad for u being in pain, while i was reading ur post i have been cracking up just picturing it all going on in my haed.
i think im gonna go out today and buy u a lucky rabbits foot.. it sound like u need some extra good luck lurking around u!.



LOL thanks honey!

At least my tales of woe and comedic tragedy bring joy to the faces of others...

I think I am going to start a daily column..or at least a weekly one. I'll be like Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City. Pick some random thing to write an article about and people can comment. Helps me with my writing and helps my karma (And my luck!) by amusing others

Reply to this topic

Log in to reply or quote a post.