Stressed!

Im soo stressed about money!!
So Ive been majorly stressed about the house these last few days!! we found out what our monthly payment for the mortgage, insurance, taxes, etc will be and yeah i knew it was going to be that much but reality just set in like HOLY CRAP!! how are we going to eat or put gas in our cars!!?????????

Well to top off my stress I grabbed our check book today to write a check to cindy for the luncheon! well we mainly do our banking online so the check book is not always up to date, ill just check the balance on the banks website before anything but i like to get it figured out every once in a while so i dont screw anything up!

So im looking thru the carbon copy things in the check book and i notice DH wrote a check to one of our friends who puts together our nascar trip every september! well i thought the tickets and hotel from this past september was already paid when we went!! but apparently not! do you think DH would mark the check book?? or even write an amount of how much the check was for??????? NOOOOOOO

so i go online to see if the check was cashed! NOPE!! so this mystery check written on Jan 30th! who knows how much it was for????? Umm we are trying to save money, with all the things we are going to have to buy for the house once we move in! ugh i dont even wanna think about it!!

i wrote him a bunch of nasty text messages saying that i want full control of the finances and that i cant believe he wrote a check and didnt even write the amount or tell me about it!!!!!! but of course where he is working today he is in the basement of a building and gets no service!!!

he almost always pays his bills late! cuz he cant remember but is too stubbourn to let me do his bills!!! he needed a new atm card so his xm subscribtion was never paid cuz he didnt change the account numbers with them! so he owe money to them and he thinks cuz they shut off the radio its ok!!! UMM he is still going to get charged!!!


im super nervous that we are in over our heads with this house thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are going through what everyone goes through when buying a house. I promise you will be ok... my sister just went through all the same stuff in October and they are good to go now.

I agree you should take control of that checkbook!!

We still go through this, we each have 'our' bills that we cover for the house and I really don't know how we do it month to month. We have been living in the house a year now, but we had the house 3 months before we could actually live in it and it still amazes me how we did it and still do it

Hang in there, it feels very overwhelming right now, but everything will work out

I know its so stressful dealing with money and now having combined finances but you guys will get through it. Have you considered having a conversation and going over all of your monthly expenses and spending limits. With a new house and mortgage I assume that to not have this stress you out it might be helpful. DH and I had this conversation when I was not saving enough and he is now in charge and I have a monthly allowance.

Check out mint.com...its really helpful to track your expenses and it gives you monthly reminders when your bills are due once your linked.

im sorry jess!!!!

i can only imagine how stressful the whole huse thing is but just remember how worth it it will be in the end

If it makes you feel better, the night that we did our walk thru, I had such a bad panic attack that DH tried to take me to the hospital! I wouldn't get out of the car, lol.

We've been in our house since July and we're fine. You'll figure it out, I promise...

Though i'm the cheap one and he is the spender!

First off, .

Second, I can't say much about the check writing issue because I've been guilty of that lately. WAY guilty..lol. I pay the bills, but I haven't been writing it in the register. I have a lot to catch up on.

As long as you and DH address the issue, that's what is important. And come to an agreement on who is going to handle the checkbook, and if you both do it, that it should be kept up to date so each one of you knows what was paid, what the balance is, etc.

I think that when anyone goes through such a large purchase, there are financial stresses. Which is normal. As long as you and DH sat down together, and ran the numbers, you should be fine. There will be bumps along the way of course, but you should be fine.

Everyone sort of goes through it. Just work on it together and it will be fine.

Hang in there!

Oh boy I do NOT miss the house buying experience at all! I feel your pain! We closed on our house one month before my wedding...we felt like an ATM handing out money to vendors, banks, home inspectors, etc....

Eventually we found a solution that worked best for us...DH does most of the bills and he shares the speadsheet he makes with me at least once a week so we both know where our money is going. He keeps it in the house so whenever either of us want to look at it, there it is. It was too confusing for him to pay some bills and me pay some, so I gave him that job since he loves that stuff and is in finances. When I want money, I will look at the spreadsheet and either tell him about it, or fill it in myself. This was very hard for me since I have had a steady income since I was 14 and had control over my money since then, so for someone to now tell me how to spend it was very hard! But, this solution worked best for both of us, so I gave in.

In order to save money you find ways to do the things you really really want to do. I will walk to work to save money on gas, DH will bring lunch with him to work and I always eat at home for lunch, we turn the heat down to save oil, etc. And we do it all so we could maybe get one night out to eat at a restaurant.

Trust me, it all eventually works out in the end, but it does take some adjusting. Good luck!

Hey your going through normal feelings... we bought our house on DH's salary knowing we would just make payments but thinking I would get a job soon and he would get his yearly raise... so we wouldn't feel so tight anymore. Not only did I not get a job, but DH went on salary reduction, significant salary reduction. He made almost 20,000 less then we counted on when we got our mortgage.

But we made it through the year. Our tax return will pay down almost the last of the debt we accumulated and we are sleeping on a box spring and mattress on the floor with unmatching bedroom furniture made of different pieces we have had... but you know what, we have a house and we are managing. We go out a lot less, once a week is a lot for us, I couldn't go away with my girlfriends for our 30 spa day and I haven't bought myself clothes or something fun in months. We got a puppy instead of Christmas gifts and said no to valentines day gifts all together. But its all worth it knowing its only for a little while but we will have this house.

But I do suggest one of you (you) handle the finances, but make sure he has one small bank account thats his or else you will never get any special surprises.

Thanks everyone for all your advice!!

Im sure things will be fine, its just going to be a major adjustment!!

I told DH that i am taking control of the finances and basically he needs to get a part time too if he wants to make sure he still has the extra spending money he has now!

we are going to combine our cell phones and get a family plan!! and cut back on stuff we really dont need...like having 3 xm radios hooked up!!

ugh why cant we just be rich????????

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Posted by LadyDuda81509

Thanks everyone for all your advice!!

Im sure things will be fine, its just going to be a major adjustment!!

I told DH that i am taking control of the finances and basically he needs to get a part time too if he wants to make sure he still has the extra spending money he has now!

we are going to combine our cell phones and get a family plan!! and cut back on stuff we really dont need...like having 3 xm radios hooked up!!

ugh why cant we just be rich????????

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Jess DH & I combined our phones & did the family plan - saved A LOT of $$ - plus we dont have a land line at the house - since we both get national service on our cell's - we just didnt see the need for the extra monthly expense for a land line. My brother & his GF did the same thing when they moved in together - just something to think about to save on an additonal monthly expense...

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Posted by Tomlaur0808

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Posted by LadyDuda81509

Thanks everyone for all your advice!!

Im sure things will be fine, its just going to be a major adjustment!!

I told DH that i am taking control of the finances and basically he needs to get a part time too if he wants to make sure he still has the extra spending money he has now!

we are going to combine our cell phones and get a family plan!! and cut back on stuff we really dont need...like having 3 xm radios hooked up!!

ugh why cant we just be rich????????

---

Jess DH & I combined our phones & did the family plan - saved A LOT of $$ - plus we dont have a land line at the house - since we both get national service on our cell's - we just didnt see the need for the extra monthly expense for a land line. My brother & his GF did the same thing when they moved in together - just something to think about to save on an additonal monthly expense...

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we have a land line now, but only cuz we needed cable, and internet, and it was the same price to get all three as it was to get just the 2! so thats the only reason! lol but i will try anything to save some extra money if we can!

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Posted by LadyDuda81509

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Posted by Tomlaur0808

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Posted by LadyDuda81509

Thanks everyone for all your advice!!

Im sure things will be fine, its just going to be a major adjustment!!

I told DH that i am taking control of the finances and basically he needs to get a part time too if he wants to make sure he still has the extra spending money he has now!

we are going to combine our cell phones and get a family plan!! and cut back on stuff we really dont need...like having 3 xm radios hooked up!!

ugh why cant we just be rich????????

---

Jess DH & I combined our phones & did the family plan - saved A LOT of $$ - plus we dont have a land line at the house - since we both get national service on our cell's - we just didnt see the need for the extra monthly expense for a land line. My brother & his GF did the same thing when they moved in together - just something to think about to save on an additonal monthly expense...

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we have a land line now, but only cuz we needed cable, and internet, and it was the same price to get all three as it was to get just the 2! so thats the only reason! lol but i will try anything to save some extra money if we can!

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Laurie, that was a good suggestion but this is for you too... I don't suggest loosing a land line. For emergency reasons you should have a land line. Cell phones die and are not always reliable and I know someone who couldn't callout in an emergency because of having trouble with service on her cell and no land line, it cost her valuable time getting an ambulance. Also in a major national or even local emergency cells can go down or you could lose power for days and not be able to charge it. You also should have a phone in the house that does not require being plugged in to work. I don't think thats the best place to save $ especially with services like Triple play.