Thank You card dilemma -- please help

Hi all...

It's been a long time since I've been on LIW. Lots of family and job stuff going on, haven't had time to even write my review.

Some 'drama' came up with my BM/work friend after our wedding this past November, and we're no longer on speaking terms.

I'm sending out my Thank You cards and not sure how to word the card to this particular friend/ex-friend. We met at work 6 yrs ago and have been very close since, but things changed in Dec when she took maternity leave. She gave birth in Jan on her own birthday, but wanted NO visitors at all, for months. EVERYONE at work kept asking me about her and the baby for months: did I see her, how is she doing, do I have pics, how is she feeling, how's the baby... but I looked like a fool when I kept saying 'I don't know, no I haven't seen her or the baby. Finally I just wound up spilling the truth: she doesn't want visitors. Several coworkers asked incredulously, 'not even YOU???' knowing how close we were (she always called me her other sister). Some even asked if maybe something was wrong w/ the baby and that's why she was keeping her distance (she didn't even want her own sister & parents around much either... said the doc said it was bad for the baby).

Long story short, she's back at work, we talked once which ended badly, and we basically ignore each other now. She was my closest friend.

So, besides my sisters who were my MOH, she was my only BM. She and her husband attended our wedding and gave us a generous gift, as my DH and I had done with them a year before (I was a BM in her wedding).

What do I say in the Thank You card without sounding phony or pretentious, considering we had this major falling out? Do I even bother with a card? Do I take the high road and send it anyway? She moved to a new apt during her leave from work and I have no idea what the address is.... the only 2 options for delivery are to leave the card in her mailbox in the main office at work (we're in a school), or send it care of her mom's local clothing store.

Please offer some advice. I'd love to know how people would handle this situation.

Thank you so much in advance.

It sounds like a rough situation and I completely understand that you're hurt by it. Is there any chance that she was/is suffering from postpartum depression? This may explain not wanting visitors and being distant even now that she's back.

I know this does not resolve the issue but it may explain her behavior. I would send a thank you as they did attend and did provide a gift. Perhaps you should be honest and tell her that you miss her friendship. Maybe she's waiting on your approach. Either way, good luck.

ETA: My response reads oddly - I agree with the below poster. If you choose to address things with her, it should be separate from the thank you.

Def send a thank you. She came to the wedding and gave a gift so that needs to be acknowledged. You can just write something generic. I also dont think the thank you is a place to address any issues that have come up.

If you want to be friends with her maybe a separate note to her so try to break the ice.

Thank you for your responses. That's what I was thinking too, a generic TY, but since I'm IN the situation, I needed an outside view of things.

Thanks again for your advice.