The wish that didnt come true...

Let me start by saying that I did have a wedding of a lifetime & I m so happy to be married to my sweet & loving husband.

But...I know this sounds so trivial & probably a little dumb. But I never got a bachelorette party or jack & jill party before DH & I got married. I read about everyone's BP's or JNJ's & see all the great pics & I feel so melancholy that it never happened for me

My MOH really dropped the ball of this - and sadly our BM wasnt much help either. DH & I even said well let's do dinner & a comedy show & see where he night takes up from there - and then MOH was like well I can do dinner but nothing else, and then slowly one by one - everyone had an excuse of why they couldnt/ or didnt want to go.

Am I wrong to be feeling sad about this even though the wedding had already come & gone?

no not at all, its a rite of passage

I TOTALLY understand! I didnt have one either.
DH had one though and I'm honestly glad he did.

it's not too late. .make your friends do one now. or we'll all go out for drinks/dancing in the city. . .even though it's NOT the same thing to have it after just slip off your wedding ring and we'll pretend1!

i would feel the same way!

I'm sorry! I feel your pain on this one.

My bachelorette party was completely ruined because one of my BMs got so drunk she had alcohol poisoning. They were just bringing out dessert at the restaurant when she started throwing up all over the place, eyes rolling in the back of her head, etc. She had drunk half a bottle of vodka before coming out because she was in a really bad relationship, and later when I said something about it (after the wedding-which she also left an hour and a half early) she told me I was a horrible friend because her boyfriend was great (yeah, so great she had to drink herself sick and then he didn't even bother to come to the hospital--there's more bad stuff but that's not the point). Needless to say, we're not friends anymore.

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Posted by twoifbysea

I know how you feel.... my MOH did a lot for my shower and when it came time to the bachelorette she tried desperately to get my BMs involved but all of them except for one were into it. My bach ended up being pretty lame... I see all these girls on LIW that have these outrageous mini vacations and I get a little sad. But I made it clear that I didn't want anyone spending a lot of money... so I guess that's the avenue they took. Oh well.

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I totally get the dissapointment from not having something or having a lame one bc my shower was VERY lame and i felt hurt to I'm not saying 'I'm above this' comparison thing or just feeling hurt or dissapointed thing but

also you have to remember the ones who are posting about their parties are the ones who had the big ones (girls i am NOT saying it's wrong to post - you should be excited about having it and sharing it and that's awesome) all i mean is it seems skewed in terms of what is normal bc if someone does not have one, they prob won't post about it unless it's to say they are upset. . and of course we remember the ones that seemed crazy. . but I also thinkt that you can do a great one for not so much $ so many of my friends are stuggling with money so the part they hosted was FABULOUS but not extremely pricey. . just there are so many ways to do things

This is my first post on this board- hello ladies!

I completely understand how you feel. Though, I take a different approach.

I for one am relieved at the wedding being behind me because people can't disappoint me anymore.

My bach. party was fairly lame- lots of my girls didn't even show. We had to cancel the first plan of fire island. For my wedding day, two girls didn't get their hair done, they just didn't want to....this is despite the fact that this was their only expense. I paid for their make-up and dresses. We had lots of people at our wedding who didn't even get us a card and by that I mean a card and not money. My own parents didn't give us anything- nothing.

I'm glad this is over already. People can be really horrible. Honestly, go away with DH and enjoy yourselves. Or maybe plan a girls trip somewhere and tell everyone that on one of the nights you will have a bachelorette outing....if its a bunch of married ladies you can all pretend. Make the best of it. So sorry you feel this way.

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Posted by MrsCastanedain09

This is my first post on this board- hello ladies!

I completely understand how you feel. Though, I take a different approach.

I for one am relieved at the wedding being behind me because people can't disappoint me anymore.

My bach. party was fairly lame- lots of my girls didn't even show. We had to cancel the first plan of fire island. For my wedding day, two girls didn't get their hair done, they just didn't want to....this is despite the fact that this was their only expense. I paid for their make-up and dresses. We had lots of people at our wedding who didn't even get us a card and by that I mean a card and not money. My own parents didn't give us anything- nothing.

I'm glad this is over already. People can be really horrible. Honestly, go away with DH and enjoy yourselves. Or maybe plan a girls trip somewhere and tell everyone that on one of the nights you will have a bachelorette outing....if its a bunch of married ladies you can all pretend. Make the best of it. So sorry you feel this way.

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First...welcome to the boards!
Second- so sorry about ppl being such a disappointment!! And I totally understand what you mean by being glad that ppl can't disppointment you any more. My weddding planning brought me a lot of disappointment too!! My mother didn't gve us anything...neither did a friend who I've known for over a decade and who knew (or should have known) how important this day was to me...I never thought I would get married ever!!! You really find out who your friends are...

And to Laurie: I didn't have a bachelorette either. I have regrets too. I wonder if we can just tell our friends we want a newlywed bachelorette party?? Seriously, maybe we should!!

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Posted by sophisticat13

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Posted by MrsCastanedain09

This is my first post on this board- hello ladies!

I completely understand how you feel. Though, I take a different approach.

I for one am relieved at the wedding being behind me because people can't disappoint me anymore.

My bach. party was fairly lame- lots of my girls didn't even show. We had to cancel the first plan of fire island. For my wedding day, two girls didn't get their hair done, they just didn't want to....this is despite the fact that this was their only expense. I paid for their make-up and dresses. We had lots of people at our wedding who didn't even get us a card and by that I mean a card and not money. My own parents didn't give us anything- nothing.

I'm glad this is over already. People can be really horrible. Honestly, go away with DH and enjoy yourselves. Or maybe plan a girls trip somewhere and tell everyone that on one of the nights you will have a bachelorette outing....if its a bunch of married ladies you can all pretend. Make the best of it. So sorry you feel this way.

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First...welcome to the boards!
Second- so sorry about ppl being such a disappointment!! And I totally understand what you mean by being glad that ppl can't disppointment you any more. My weddding planning brought me a lot of disappointment too!! My mother didn't gve us anything...neither did a friend who I've known for over a decade and who knew (or should have known) how important this day was to me...I never thought I would get married ever!!! You really find out who your friends are...

And to Laurie: I didn't have a bachelorette either. I have regrets too. I wonder if we can just tell our friends we want a newlywed bachelorette party?? Seriously, maybe we should!!

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Kirsten I am really loving that idea - I think it would be really awesome to find other brides like ourselves that never had one & see who would join us...

My LIW ladies....would you come?

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Posted by Tomlaur0808

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Posted by sophisticat13

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Posted by MrsCastanedain09

This is my first post on this board- hello ladies!

I completely understand how you feel. Though, I take a different approach.

I for one am relieved at the wedding being behind me because people can't disappoint me anymore.

My bach. party was fairly lame- lots of my girls didn't even show. We had to cancel the first plan of fire island. For my wedding day, two girls didn't get their hair done, they just didn't want to....this is despite the fact that this was their only expense. I paid for their make-up and dresses. We had lots of people at our wedding who didn't even get us a card and by that I mean a card and not money. My own parents didn't give us anything- nothing.

I'm glad this is over already. People can be really horrible. Honestly, go away with DH and enjoy yourselves. Or maybe plan a girls trip somewhere and tell everyone that on one of the nights you will have a bachelorette outing....if its a bunch of married ladies you can all pretend. Make the best of it. So sorry you feel this way.

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First...welcome to the boards!
Second- so sorry about ppl being such a disappointment!! And I totally understand what you mean by being glad that ppl can't disppointment you any more. My weddding planning brought me a lot of disappointment too!! My mother didn't gve us anything...neither did a friend who I've known for over a decade and who knew (or should have known) how important this day was to me...I never thought I would get married ever!!! You really find out who your friends are...

And to Laurie: I didn't have a bachelorette either. I have regrets too. I wonder if we can just tell our friends we want a newlywed bachelorette party?? Seriously, maybe we should!!

---

Kirsten I am really loving that idea - I think it would be really awesome to find other brides like ourselves that never had one & see who would join us...

My LIW ladies....would you come?

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I would be there!!!

No one in my bridal party besides my moh(WHO PLANNED IT ALL) came to mine. I was hurt because, well, Its my bachelorette party, and even though theydidnt come I had hoped they wanted to do SOMETHING with me but nope. So to a point i get it :(

Helped me to see who really cares though...