This is kind of stupid, but it broke my heart -- LONG
For the past 1 month and 1 week I have been following along with a journal that was written by a 2005 West Point grad when he went through Ranger School in 2006. He wrote EVERY single day of Ranger School about his daily experiences, how much he missed his girlfriend, his buddies, what he wanted to do when he got out, etc. It comforts me to read it -- it gives me an idea of what my DH is up to each day since I cant talk to him. Over the past month of reading this journal, I've almost come to feel like I know this Ranger. You get a strong sense of his personality (he's a fun, light-hearted, intelligent guy). I've shared the journal with several other wives whose DHs are also away at Ranger School and we all feel the same way -- that we really like this guy and his journal is very comforting to us.
Well, today I found a link to his website. The site has become a memorial -- he was killed in action in Iraq October of last year![]()
He had just gotten engaged (to the same girl he wrote about in his Ranger School journal entries).
I know that I didnt actually KNOW him personally, but I felt like I had gotten to know him through his journal and I'm quite heartbroken to learn he has since passed on. I dont know whether its the notion that my DH is about to deploy in July and im fearing this could happen to him too, or what, but its saddened me more than I expected. I normally read the days journal entry each night before I go to sleep (for instance, tonight I would read his entry from Day 37), but tonight I'm finding it very hard to read it without the constant thought that he's no longer alive in the back of my mind. Even when he was having an absolutely horrible day, he sounded upbeat and in good spirits in his entries. Some of the things he said to keep himself motivated through the course I have written to DH to keep him motivated. His journal has been more of an inspiration to Rangers in training than I think he'll ever know (a ton of guys in DH's class have said that they read it to prepare them for what was to come).
I'm not sure where I'm going with this....I guess I just needed to vent. I guess this is reality hitting. A huge part of me just wishes I could call up my husband right now and say 'i dont want you to die like him. i dont want you to go in july and not come home. im not ready for any of this'...but then again, its probably better that I cant do that.
Well, today I found a link to his website. The site has become a memorial -- he was killed in action in Iraq October of last year
I know that I didnt actually KNOW him personally, but I felt like I had gotten to know him through his journal and I'm quite heartbroken to learn he has since passed on. I dont know whether its the notion that my DH is about to deploy in July and im fearing this could happen to him too, or what, but its saddened me more than I expected. I normally read the days journal entry each night before I go to sleep (for instance, tonight I would read his entry from Day 37), but tonight I'm finding it very hard to read it without the constant thought that he's no longer alive in the back of my mind. Even when he was having an absolutely horrible day, he sounded upbeat and in good spirits in his entries. Some of the things he said to keep himself motivated through the course I have written to DH to keep him motivated. His journal has been more of an inspiration to Rangers in training than I think he'll ever know (a ton of guys in DH's class have said that they read it to prepare them for what was to come).
I'm not sure where I'm going with this....I guess I just needed to vent. I guess this is reality hitting. A huge part of me just wishes I could call up my husband right now and say 'i dont want you to die like him. i dont want you to go in july and not come home. im not ready for any of this'...but then again, its probably better that I cant do that.
