SO i have been feeling really uninspired in my career. I have been contemplating a career change but can't figure out what I would wnat to be when i grow up lol. I have spent so much money on my degrees that I feel like it will be a waste of them to leave the field of music education and in this time I feel like I have a job i should thank my lucky stars! I want to teach on the collegiate level at some point in my life but I know i need more experience for that.
There is a program this summer located in California that might be what I need to re-inspire me. It's 2 weeks in Oakland and it is the best program for this specific topic in the country. DH is 100% behind me going but I am TERRIFIED to go alone.
here's why.... 1. I am afraid to fly. 2. I am afraid to be alone in a new place. 3. I am so insecure in my ability to do this. DH and i went through school together. he is a phenomenal musician and I have ALWAYS felt second best. I am so nervous that I will fail.
There is another program at NYU that I could do but my gut says I should go and prove to myself that I can handle the california one. What would you do? I am SO distraught!
JennyAPH
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Re: To go or not to go...
GO!!!!!!!
You are amazing and you can do whatever you set your mind to!! It sounds like an awesome opportunity!!!
I hate to fly too - I can recommend great medication!
I have a fear of being in new places alone too - but what a better way to grow as a person then to face your fears.
DO NOT be insecure. Like I said you are amazing at everything you do - you will never fail as long as you give it all you have
and finally if you dont go (or at least strongly consider it) i will be mad at you!
flairforfashion
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Re: To go or not to go...
Lauren, I think you should go.
It will be worth it. If you feel that this is that extra push, go to California. Listen, I hate flying but I force myself to do it to see other amazing parts of the world.
Also, being alone is a little scary but if you don't do this, you may regret it later on. I had the chance to do things alone in other parts of the country but declined due to fear. Don't make the same mistakes as I did.
Plus, it seems that Brad is very supportive. Do it!!!!!! That support alone should give you the confidence that you need!
PoppedInASnap
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Re: To go or not to go...
I messaged u because my response wouldnt post, but, u know you are strong, and I think this is what you need to prove it to yourself. I honestly think you are one of the most amazing people and deserve this opportunity, and the fact that brad is ALL FOR IT makes the answer even more obvious.... love u
T E R I
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DO IT!!!!!
I am the same way, I hate being in new situations on my own, but this sounds like an amazing opportunity and you have the support of a great husband behind you. The worse thing that can happen is you go to Cali and don't like it, but at least you tried, take the leap and go for it, you can do it. You are an amazing person and can totally handle this
miamimerger
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Re: To go or not to go...
From my experience, going with your gut and conquering your fears is definitely the best solution. What a lucky woman you are to have--what sounds like--such a supportive husband! This sounds like such a great opportunity!
I have undergrad degrees in creative writing (poetry) and music (cello)...very stable, I know. For grad school, I got my degree in Student Affairs, but I knew since day 1 that I should have gotten my MFA in poetry. Though I am young, I've done pretty well in the field thus far--and I've had some really amazing opportunities--but I regret not going with my gut and getting my MFA. DH has a PhD in social psychology and is a professor...he's very successful in his field, and I think it's because he loves what he does. Though I'm totally jealous of his success, it inspires me enough to want to go back to grad school in a couple of years.
If this opportunity will be the spark you need, soak it up. It might be scary to fly, but I think it's equally scary to think of all you'll be missing--you just have to trade in one fear to face another .
...and I hope that made some sense .
Just Cindy
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Re: To go or not to go...
I would do it!!!! its only 2 weeks and your DH is supporttive. You are a strong it may just be nerves but if its the best for your family I would totally do it.
For the flying maybe speak to to your doctor and see if he/she can prescribe something for the anxiety.
Being alone in a new place...talk to your DH everday and preoccupy your time with things so its not about being alone.
Just remember you should do the best you can and not to compare yourself to anyone else. there will always be someone who is better than you in something but you are you!!!!
meara
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Re: To go or not to go...
I would totally go! The good thing is it will be a program with lots of other people who are there for a short time so it won't be like going to a place where there's no structure - chances are you'll be with people in an interactive environment for most of the time which makes things SOOOOOO much easier. . . if it were a lot longer I'd say maybe the closer places but it seems like this would be such a great opportunity and you are totally strong enough to do it!!!
gina409
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Re: To go or not to go...
lauren you should go!!!!!!!
this coud turn out to be an amazing experience and u def dont wnt to loo back with regret!!!!
have u and bra get cameras so u can i chat and see his face..keep in contact with him and all of us so u never feel alone!!!!!
worst that could happen is u come home right?
meara
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Re: To go or not to go...
okay this is kind of long but. .
oh realized that I mostly talked about #2. . . for fear of flying ask your doctor for something to relax you if you are really anxious (and don't have any pill issues of course). I have a friend who is ridiculously phobic of flying and she takes 1 muscle relaxant to help her and is a lot better. . I would say you could take the train but that might be a nightmare in terms of time and being on your own.
musician - well of course I can't speak from knowing you and how you play but I think music is like fingerprints you know - like each musician is so distinct in what they bring to things. . so I'm sure you bring your heart to music in a different and unique way than brad or anyone else and that alone means you won't fail!! I think personally, I've had a lot of things I thought I shouldn't try bc I wouldn't be as good as someone else but I think at some point we all just have to know we're worth it and go for it!!!
a much older relative of mine (just last week) said that she hadn't taken so many risks that she wished she would have bc she was so afraid of doing anything where there was any doubt that she would succeed and that kind of hit me hard. . I was upset bc I had just - (in my opinion) failed at something and she said - well at least you took the risk. . .
alli3131
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Re: To go or not to go...
I would go cause the only reason you arent are your fears......the only way to get over the fears is to just do the trip.....
Dreemer107
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First - i know exactly how you feel about feeling uninspired and not knowing what you want to do when you grow up. I feel that way every day, but i try not to concentrate on it every day....which leads me to not doing anything about it.
so with that - I say DO IT! I wish I had some idea of what is the next step for me so that I could persue it. You have this GREAT opportunity, and you will be kicking urself if you dont go through with it. Since it's over the summer, could Brad go with you? Atleast for 1 week of it?? That way you wont feel so alone. And if he cant, I still say go for it. Think of the benefits of it, dont think of the negative!
Jenth
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Sounds like a great opportunity. I bet you wouldn't regret it once you get there, and it would be an awesome experience.
LadyDuda81509
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I would say GO!!! that would be awesome! esp if you think it will help get more experience.
cant DH fly our with you and spend a few days with you to get you settled...
its only 2 weeks so even if he went the whole time...
VickiR510
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Re: To go or not to go...
I think you should totally go. I fyou dont youw ill be so upset with yourself & always second guessing what if. And that is the worst.
If it were me - I like a challenge. I love to try new things. And if it means overcoming some fears during that process, EVEN BETTER!
How can you accomplish what you want to without taking that first step? If its not teh best experince then so be it but at least you experienced it!
GOOD LUCK! NOW GO!!!!
FutureMrsG
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Go!! Even if you have to force yourself! To get over the flying issue maybe you can head to CA a few days early and DH could go with you to help you settle in.Do not let your fears limit you.
geegee827
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You should go. From personal experience, I can tell you that the things that have scared me the most have turned out to be the things I'm proudest of.
When I turend 30, I was having a hard time. I had just broken up with my on-again-off-again boyfriend for the zillionth time, all of my friends were married, blah, blah, blah.
I needed a vacation desperately but had no one to go away with. I ended up going away on a sailing cruise by myself. When I look back on it, it was one of the best weeks of my life. The night before I was a mess - the ride to the airport I was a mess, the flight down to St. Maarten I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown because I was so terrified...I landed and came into my own. That one week gave me a push to live my life in a very different direction because it showed me I can!
You are braver, stronger and more talented than you think....
MrsDrinkh20
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Thanks ladies..i know you are all right...i'm just so terrified. I know fear shouldn't stop me but it does...and if i don't go I will probably SO regret it...agh!
Summertimegal424
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you should TOTALLY go! Brad could always go with you...its only 2 weeks!
azailia
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you should definately go!!! all of your fears are normal... do't think you are crazy!!! i would feel the same way!!! i wish i could go with you!!!
just think how proud of yourself you will be o nce you did it!!!
